A Drop in the Ocean
by Runawaywriter28
Summary: A wedding, a missing bride and a broken heart leads two lovers to depart from each other. 5 years on and they're both leading very different lives, but you never know who's going to wash up on the shore. Will forgiveness bring them back together or were they never meant to be? HEA
1. Chapter 1

**1 - Wedding bells and a broken man.**

 _Flashback 5 years ago_

 _Ana ran down the steps and into the nave of the c_ _hurch as fast as she could, tears running down her face, holding up her gown with her heals in her hands. A few guests still remained, namely their family, who looked at her in anger and sadness. She walked straight over to his brother._

 _"Where is he Elliot?" she choked, her eyes moving around the church looking for the love of her life._

 _"He's gone, he left," he was pissed, she knew he was. Who could blame him after what she just did? she hated herself. She hated herself so much._

 _"Please Elliot, you've got to tell me where, I made a mistake, a huge mistake,"_

 _"Jibbing my brother at the alter isn't a mistake Ana, it's a choice, you've broken him, he's destroyed," Ana's tears were coming hard and fast. Her chest ached more and more by the second. She had to find him._

 _"Please let me talk to him,"_

 _"Look, even if I wanted to tell you I couldn't, he left as soon as my mom told him," Ana burst into tears, loud, uncontrollable tears. She'd just lost everything, the only man she would ever love._

 _She looked everywhere for him; ran around in her wedding dress knowing that he couldn't have gone too far. His car was still in the car park of the church. After nearly 20 minutes of looking for him in a panic whilst tears blinded her vision, she saw him. He was sitting on the river bank at the back of the church, nursing a scotched with his little sister comforting him. His jacket was thrown on a rock next to him as he stared across the river. She ran across the grass towards them, lifting her wedding dress up so it wouldn't catch in the mud._

 _"Christian!" she called as she got closer. He didn't turn around; but Mia did._

 _"Leave him alone Ana, go back home," she spat angrily. Ana had never seen Mia like this. Mia had always loved Ana; they'd been best friends along with Kate since the first time they met._

 _"Mia please, I'm begging you, just let me talk to him," Ana's throat was hoarse from crying and her eyes burned from the constant flow of tears._

 _"You don't get to talk to him, you could have talked to him last night before you pulled this stunt! leave him alone,"_

 _"Mia, thank you, but you can go back to mom now, I can protect myself," Christian whispered. His voice was like a dagger through her heart; so full of hurt and hopelessness. Mia struggled, looking between the two of them before finally giving in. She kissed Christian's cheek._

 _"Don't leave here without saying goodbye to me," Mia demanded knowing her brother was seconds from bolting from the church before she'd caught up with him after the announcement that Ana didn't want to marry him._

 _They were alone and every word Ana wanted to say to him went out of her head. She just wanted to hold him; love him, be loved by him, but he couldn't even look at her._

 _"I love you," she whispered. Her chest ached as she thought of how it may be the last time she got to say those words to him. Would she ever hear those words out of his lips again? "I'm so sorry Christian.. I..I..I panicked. I want to marry you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You're the only man I've ever loved, my first and only... everything, and I got some pre wedding jitters," Ana breathed, sitting on the grass beside him. He was so beautiful, so strong yet vulnerable right now. How did she ever get this gorgeous man in the first place? she'd blown it. She'd blown her chance at happiness. No one else would ever fill his place, his name was tattooed across her body.. ;Literally she thought as she remembered getting a tattoo of his initials on her hip bone for his 19th birthday present. He'd loved it; he showed her all night long just how much he loved it._

 _He hadn't said a word, he just downed his scotch._

 _"Come back inside the church with me baby, we can get married and live happily ever after," her lip quivered as she said the words._

 _"Do you even know what it was like?" Christian's voice was void of all emotion. He just continued to stare across the riverbank. "I was so happy, so excited to marry you. I barely slept last night wishing the day would come faster. Do you how it felt to be told that the girl you loved with every bone in your body. The girl who you'd wanted to marry since you were 5 years old doesn't want to marry you? you broke my heart. And I can't let you do it again," he took a long gulp of scotch letting it burn in his throat as his fiancé kneeled beside him, her face flooded with tears._

 _"I never thought you'd do that to me," Christian breathed, "the thought never even popped into my head. I thought you loved me too much to do that. I thought you wanted us as much as I did. But now, I'm doubting everything. I'm doubting if you ever really loved me, maybe you were just laughing at me all this time. You were my best friend Ana, I'd have given you the world." His voice cracked on the last word and she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burrowing her face into his shoulder, hysterical and pleading._

 _"I love you Christian, I've always loved you and I always will. You're everything, you mean the world to me. You have to believe me. I'm not me without you. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Please... p...p..please, come with me now. Marry me? Please Christian, Marry me?" she begged._

 _"You don't want to marry me Ana. You really don't and I can't be your regret. I think I'll fear marriage for the rest of my life after what's just happened." Ana continued to sob, clutching onto him so tightly knowing in her heart that this would be the last time she got to touch him like this. Would their last kiss they shared last night before she'd left for Kate's really be their last kiss? would the last time they made love, yesterday morning, in their bed, really be the last time she felt that pleasure? the thought made her bawl harder. Christian sighed, too weak to pull her body from his._

 _"You know," he said softly, his voice vulnerable and his eyes swimming with silent tears,"the first time I saw you, our parent were taking us to church one Sunday morning. You hadn't noticed me and you were carrying this pink rabbit with half an ear and it's foot had been sewn on backwards," Christian laughed at the memory despite the crushing pain in his chest. "I turned to my mom that day, and I told her "That's the girl I'm going to marry." You were my dream come true Ana, and now, the memory of me standing in that church and being told by my mom that you aren't coming and that you don't want to be my wife, that you don't want a future with me, will haunt me forever,"_

 _"I do want a future with you. I want everything with you, forever." Ana whispered, holding him tighter. Christian shook his head. His heart was broken. She'd taken it from him when they were 5 years old and ripped it apart in front of his eyes today. She loved him; she loved him so much. But he didn't believe her._

 _"Its too late Ana," Christian whispered. He turned to face her and the tears in his eyes made hers fall faster. "I hope one day you meet a man that you actually want to marry, I hope you have the best life, a happy one. I hope you have kids and laugh every single day. And I hope that one day, years from now, the two of us can meet again and tell our stories, because despite what I'm feeling right now, I still love you with all my heart Ana, and I want you to be happy, even if its far away from me," Christian gave her a watery smile. She was crying so hard that she couldn't even open her eyes. Her throat was stuck, her hands were shaking as they wrapped around the love of her life, praying for him to never leave her arms; She'd give anything to start the morning again, to walk up the isle and meet this man and walk off into the sunset with him. But now, she'd lost him and she felt numb. How could she ever be happy again without this man at her side? he was all that she wanted and she'd broken his heart._

 _"I'm going to go now," he breathed. She wrapped every limb around his body, anchoring herself to him and begging him to stay, to forgive her and come back into the church with her but she knew he wouldn't. She'd ruined everything and she had no one to blame but herself._

 _"Don't go Christian, please don't go,"_

 _"Let go Ana," she bawled harder, sobbing into his shoulder leaving splatters of makeup all over his pristine shirt._

 _"W.. w.. where are y..y..you going?" she sobbed._

 _"Anywhere that's not here," he sighed. He stood up and removed her arms from around him. She tried to hold on but it was no use... she couldn't stop him from walking away. She collapsed to the ground and fell into darkness. A life without Christian was a life without living. What had she done?_

 **A/N - So, I was planning on writing a kinky, darker story when this little idea popped into my head. I wish there was a T/M rating on FF too because I don't know which category this will fall into, but I'll stay safe with M. Also,** **It will have a happy ending for anyone wondering.** **Hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please let me know your thoughts :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**2) A fallen soldier**

Present day (2007)

Anastasia Rose Steele had moved away; far away from her old life. After the 'wedding' she'd decided that she couldn't live in America any longer. Not without Christian. She had no idea where he'd gone after he walked away from her that day. Elliot and Mia wouldn't tell her anything; Ana hadn't seen Christian's parents since and was too scared to ask them where he'd gone for fear of being shunned and Kate didn't know where he'd gone either; the family hadn't told her and she hadn't asked Elliot for fear of upsetting him. Only Kate and her father knew where she'd gone. She had considered telling her mother but she thought against it; she hadn't spoken to her mother, Carla in over 7 years and didn't feel like starting now. Her mother was a trying woman who cared more about herself than she ever did Ana so Ana just stopped trying.

She sold everything she didn't need and then bought a one way ticket to South Goa where she (with her fathers financial help) bought a small house by the coast in the poorer area of the state. It was a spur of the moment thing, she'd gone to an travel agent and Goa was the first flight that she'd seen. She lived a life of necessity rather than luxury. She had what she needed and not a lot more. She'd didn't take much with her. She made sure to bring a little money, some clothes, her jewellery box and some photos of family, friends and... Christian. She still loved him of course. She wished every single day that she could go back and change what she did that day and marry him. She wished that she hadn't let her insecurities and the animosity about how bad her mother's marriages went fester in her mind. She'd only made one friend on the island, Jose. She met him at the market one day and they'd become friends. Ana always suspected that Jose wanted a little more than friendship, but she couldn't give him any more. There was only one man she'd ever give herself to, only one man she'd ever love, even if he no longer loved her back. The cost of not following her heart had led to her wishing ever since that she had. Stupid reasons and cold feet had led to her making the biggest mistake of her life, and the cost of it was her happiness.

A little while after getting to Goa, Jose and herself had bought a farm together where they sold their produce to the market for profit. She didn't have a job and neither did Jose so it was a good prospect for both parties. They had 5 chickens, 2 goats, a cow and a pig. Jose looked after the farm and Ana went to sell the produce at the market. It gave her a comfortable enough living and she liked her life here however, that didn't mean she didn't miss everyone at home. She'd seen Kate a few months ago, she'd come to visit, promising to tell no one, not even Elliot her boyfriend. When the time came, she made a believable excuse and then jetted off to see Ana.

She'd also visited her dad not too long ago. She'd saved up some money and used the rest from her dad's emergency fund and travelled to see him where he was now working, in South Africa. He was helping out at an orphanage, something that he'd wanted to do since retiring but hadn't done until Ana told him to a number of years ago. He loved it there and had told her that he was going to, at some point, come and live with her in South Goa. There was a number of orphanages and Ana had been positively thrilled at the thought of her father living with her at some point in the future. She hadn't seen him since but he kept in touch via landline, although, the connection was terrible between the two countries.

Ana was walking back from the market one Friday evening. It had been a slow day and they'd only sold half a dozen eggs. She'd been wanted to buy a few more animals and was saving up to do so. Jose had also purchased them a tractor and started to sew some crops and vegetables to earn some extra money. She thought it had been a great idea however, he hadn't managed to purchase all of the seeds yet, so he was waiting until he had everything he needed to start growing before he did so. She'd been walking along the beach, her basket of goods in one arm, holding her beach hat to her head as she walked along the sand. She loved the way it crunched beneath her feet and sparkled from the sea water's dew. The wind had picked up a little and the sky was turning darker as the sun became sheltered by stormy grey clouds. She knew it was going to rain and was thinking of running back to the house before the first drops fell when something caught her eye. She couldn't make out what it was, but something had washed up on the shore a few hundred yards away. She thought that maybe it was some old tires or a huge clump of sea weed. Things like that constantly washed up on the shore. She sometimes took some seaweed home to wash and then sell as it tended to be quite popular and the local children used to get any old tire's to make swings out of. However, as she got closer, she realised that what she was looking at was a man that had been pulled in by the tide.

He was laying still, soaked through and hadn't moved as she'd been watching him. He was laying on his stomach, his face turned away from her and laying on the sand. She ran towards him, dropping her basket and kneeling at his side. She touched his shoulder gently, his thick jacket sticking to him like a second skin but he didn't stir. She reached for his pulse and was relieved to hear a very faint heartbeat. She tried to push him over onto his back but he was too heavy. After several attempts she decided to move his legs first and then his body. The man flopped on his back like a wet sock from her coaxing and Ana moved the hair that was stuck to the mans face and gasped when she saw him.

"Christian," she whispered. He was wearing a uniform; Khaki trousers and camouflage on his upper body and he was pale as anything. His face looked almost transparent and his skin was so cold. He had a gash across his forehead and blood all over his chest and hands but she would recognise him anywhere. She touched his face gently, a tear rolling down her cheek. Who could have done this to him? she leaned down so that her ear was near his mouth and after listening for a few moments, realised that he wasn't breathing. Moving his jacket apart, the buttons coming undone easily, she pressed her hands to his sternum and pumped his chest a few times before holding his nose and pressing her mouth to his, hoping to give him life. He still wasn't breathing and she started to panic. She had to save him; she'd do anything.

"Stay with me Christian," she breathed, pumping his chest once more, using all of her strength to put a good amount of pressure to his chest and giving him air, just as Grace Grey had taught her when helping out at the hospital when she was with Christian. She waited a moment, the longest moments of her life, willing him to just breath and then, sighed in relief when she saw his chest started to rise and fall slightly. She clutched his hands tightly in hers, trying to warm them and he started to cough, water spilling from his mouth. She lifted his head gently to help him clear his airways; he seemed too weak to even do that, his cheeks were gaunt and a hopeless, vacant expression gracing his handsome face. His eyes still hadn't opened and she willed to see a flash of grey.

"Christian?"

His head fell back onto the sand and she thought that he'd fallen back unconscious when suddenly, eyes the colour of silver popped open and looked at her. They were glazed over and she could tell he could barely keep them from closing but he'd seen her, even if only for a second.

"Ana," he breathed, a whisper so quiet that Ana wasn't even sure if he'd actually said it, before his exhausted body gave up and he fell unconscious once more, his head hitting the sand and his eyes slamming shut.

 **A/N - The chapters will get longer after this one and more will be explained as we go along. Also, I've never been to Goa, it just seemed like the perfect location. Thank you for the support!**


	3. Chapter 3

**3- Blue eyes and healing.**

 _present day (2007)_

He remembered it all. He'd joined the army 3 years before after training and had been stationed in Iraq to fight the war on terror. He had been in a building with his best friend Taylor and another of their comrades keeping watch when they had been bombed. The room had been caked in dust and sand, so much so that his vision was impaired and before he knew it, he'd been captured. He was dragged out of the building by 2 enemy officers and thrown into a car. He vaguely remembered being carried into a boat and then they were sailing on the waters. There were 3 of them, 2 armed with guns and the other steering the boat. They'd gone for days in the small boat and he hadn't been given any food or water and was occasionally beaten. His ears were still ringing from the bomb and his head hurt every time the boat moved sharply against the rippling water. The boat was so slow as it sailed the water and he felt like he was hallucinating. At one point, he looked around and none of them were paying much attention to the injured, starving American soldier lying in the boat. He'd taken his chance then. When he was sure he could move his legs and that he wasn't paralysed from the blast, he'd jumped up with every ounce of energy he could muster and thrown himself into the icy sea before anyone could stop him.

Under the freezing water, he could hear shouting and splashes around him and realised they were firing at him. His arm was hurt but he managed to swim a little away from the boat before one shot hit him in the leg which felt like a thousand knives pushing through his skin and then he was hit again and again. He struggled for a few moments, barely able to breath before his body gave out. He could see land; he could see a shore and a beach in the far distance but his body gave up and he floated to the top of the water, slowly drifting towards the sandy white beach that lay in his wake. He must have drifted for miles because he could feel someone pounding their fists on his ribs and soft sand beneath his back. His head was cloudy and his body too exhausted to let him open his eyes but he could breath again, just about. His lungs were filled with sea water and the next thing he knew he was coughing his guts up.

"Christian?" his heart stopped beating for a second and he knew he hand to be dreaming. He'd know that soft voice anywhere and willed his eyes to open. Was he dead? was she an angel come to take him away to the promise land? with every ounce of strength, ever tiny swirl of energy left in his weary, broken body he managed to open his eyes for only a second. His vision was blurred, obstructed by dots and the pain ripped through him like a storm but he saw her blue eyes staring back at him. Eyes that he'd loved so much they broke his heart. Visions of blue and flecks of white that would haunt him for eternity.

"Ana," he whispered. His throat was so dry it strangled him and the wisps of energy which had enabled him to open his eyes had evaporated. He was weak and in so much pain that he couldn't last a moment longer. His eyes slammed shut again and he fell under the curtain of darkness once more.

 _4 days later_

It was cold and dark in the shell of despair. His mind had been unfocused and wiry for a while but he was now starting to defog. The mist that had covered him started to clear and his head rose from the clouds for a moment and he was able to focus, if only for a couple of seconds. He focused on his breathing, thanking god that he was still able to do so and then he tried to move his fingers. Everything was numb at first but then, after a minute of so, the pain came searing through him and scorched inside his veins. Hot, bright fire sizzling his blood and making him burn. He felt hot and cold all at once, his skin prickling and clammy. He couldn't find one direct source where the agony was at it's worst. Everywhere hurt. His eyes scrunched closed and he let out a cry. He heard footsteps running towards him from where he lay and a hand on his arm. It burned; it burned like fire but he couldn't move. The hand was soft and gentle, a stark contrast to the treatment he'd received by the enemy but even the lightest touch struck a nerve.

"Christian? please," he recognised the voice. It was the same voice who had called his name in his dream. The same voice which had saved him from the biting ocean and enabled him to breath again. Ana's voice. She sounded scared he felt her soft hands caressing him, willing him to wake up from the fog. He breathed in sharply, his lungs feeling the weight of his sacrifice and then opened his eyes quickly, panicking when he looked at his surroundings. He was lying the sofa in the sitting room of a small house. He was covered in blankets and bandages and ... he was hyperventilating.

"Christian! Christian look at me," soft hands turned his face and he saw eyes as blue as the deepest waters swimming with tears, "breath with me," she said, her voice calm and slow. He tried to copy her breathing as he started to get light headed and soon he was able to relax again. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to calm himself. He was no longer a prisoner, he was no longer in the battlefield, he was no longer fighting. He was ... somewhere, in the living room of a small house with the woman who broke his heart. Why was she here? and where was here? he had no idea where the boat was heading for when he'd been taken and he also had no idea where he'd washed up. Was he dead? was his mind playing tricks on him as he lay in a coma?

"Are you ok?" he turned once more to look at her worried eyes. She was staring at him in awe, holding his hand in hers and she was wearing a green summer frock. She looked beautiful. Had it really been 5 years since he'd seen her? she was always beautiful but now, it was like he was taking her features in all over again; seeing her for the first time once more.

He wanted to leave here, he wanted to go before her blue eyes and soft touches lured him in again. He needed to forget her but that had never happened. The only way he'd be able to forget her was if on that day they met when they were 5 years old, he'd walked away. It had taken 3 years for him to let another woman into his bed but he'd still never forgotten her. He still dreamed of blue eyes and soft pouty lips every night, his wedding day to her however, would forever be a recurring nightmare and being in her presence was flooding his mind with old memories, memories that he had been trying to supress. He faintly nodded his head, the pain excruciating as he did so and she sighed in relief.

When he was without her, the anger clouded over any feelings he felt towards her. The hatred seeped through where love once stayed and every memory was black. Now that he was with her, the angry words he had longed to say for so long wouldn't come out. The questions he wanted answered were never said. They somehow seemed irrelevant, trapped inside him. After that day, he had tried to forget her for a while, hoping her face wouldn't come back into his head; wouldn't haunt his mind but she always did, her beautiful sight burning through him like lava and smoke so he could think of nothing else making his weakened heart bleed. He'd wanted to remember when times were good but all he could think of was the rough road they'd finished on. He wanted to remember when he thought the world of her, when she was everything; the sun, the moon and the stars in the sky. But all he could remember was how badly she hurt him and how the scars she left had singed his soul and would remain forever. It's a horrible thing memory; a blessing and a curse.

"How much pain are you in?" she whispered, although he could barely hear her over the pounding of blood in his ears.

"Pain," was the only word he could moan out. She let go of his hand and he heard her soft footsteps walk to some cupboards, fishing through them. He couldn't lift his head to watch her as much as he'd have liked to. He closed his eyes and willed his pounding headache to subside so that he could at least think straight without the constant throbbing in his skull. He twitched his fingers to make sure they all worked, one arm, his left one, ached as he moved them but the pain wasn't too bad compared to the rest of his battered body. He'd been through hell and been brought back to life in the final moment. He moved his toes next to make sure he his legs still worked, he was relieved when he managed to do that too. Ana came back a moment later and kneeled beside him again.

"Open up," she said, holding a glass of something up to his lips. She grabbed the back of his neck gently, her touch making his skin prickle and tilted his head up a little to help him to drink the liquid. He spat it out straight away; the taste a foreign and disgusting mixture, leading to a coughing fit that ripped through his lungs making him moan in agony.

"It's dissolvable pain killers, I got them from the market and I've been giving you them for the last few days, it helps," she told him patiently, lifting his neck once more. He scrunched his face up as the liquid rolled over his tongue but swallowed it like the soldier he was.

"There," she said, carefully lowering his head down to the pillow she'd rested on the end of the couch. "I tried to find a doctor to help you, but I don't really know anyone here. I helped your mom at the hospital a lot when I was younger so I know the basics and I know you don't like people touching your chest," she said softly, "I didn't know where hurt, so I cleaned you up and lay you here. I put some fresh bandages on you this morning and used some antiseptic,"

"Thank you," he wheezed. She smiled at him and kissed his softly on the forehead, running her fingers through his hair. She still couldn't believe he was here, with her, in her house. His voice, although scratchy, was so familiar to her and she couldn't help but smile when she heard it.

"I'm so glad you're alive, I've been worried sick," she whispered softly. He closed his eyes when she dipped down and kissed his forehead again, stroking his hair back from his face. She'd cleaned him up as best as she could, dabbing at his face and trying to be as gentle as possible with him. He looked more like himself than he had a few days ago, but his skin was still hollow and as pale as a ghost from starvation and beatings.

"Now, I know you must be hungry. I'm afraid I don't have much but I can make you some scrambled eggs?" Christian's stomach rumbled at the thought of warm scrambled egg and Ana laughed. Something warm in his frail stomach certainly sounded incredible right now.

"I take that as a yes, the painkillers should kick in soon," she squeezed his hand and headed for the kitchen area. This time, he did crane his head to look at her. She was wearing a beautiful green summer dress with blue flowers and pink rose covering it that came down to her knees and showed her toned, tanned legs. Her feet were bare and her hair was in soft waves like silk floating down her back. The dress hugged her figure and Christian watched her longingly for a moment until he remembered what she did. She didn't want him. She hadn't wanted him 5 years ago and she still didn't now. She was helping him because she was a good person and had seen him at his weakest moment. She'd do it for anyone, that's just the way she was; kind, sweet and gentle. He wasn't special. When he was able to move again, he'd leave and she'd stay. That's the way it was. They'd say their goodbyes and that would be it. They weren't meant to be. If they were, they'd be married already.

So with those heavy thoughts in his mind, he lay back on the pillow and closed his eyes. He moved his hand slowly up his chest, avoiding the bandages and to his face and was surprised to find a slight beard on his chin. How long had he been out for? he desperately wanted to shave it, but he knew he wasn't up to that yet so he lay there still as the medicine started to take effect.

"Wake up sleepy head," came a voice next to him just a few minutes later. His eyes popped open again. Was he really that weak that he couldn't keep his eyes open? his body must have been exhausted and no wonder after the way it had been treated in the past week. He looked at her and she was smiling at him, kneeling beside him again. She had a glass of water in her hand and a plate of scrambled egg and toast in the other.

"Here," she placed the food down on the table and lifted his head gently, allowing him to drink the water and then scooping up a little bit of the scrambled egg onto a fork.

"Here comes the train," she joked and he smiled at her, his lips dry and chapped from the salty sea, before opening his mouth. He moaned at the taste of the food and Ana felt a jolt of arousal flow through her at the sound of his pleasure. She shook it off and scooped another bit of egg off the plate. Having him here with her now had confirmed one thing for her; she was still head over heals in love with him and she knew that she probably always would be. Her aching heart yearned for him and she wanted to kiss his lips and hold him in her arms, never letting him go. She'd missed him terribly and having him here was bitter sweet. She loved the fact that he was here, in her home with her, but she hated the circumstances.

He was in so much pain and so exhausted. She'd almost fainted when she'd taken his clothes off to bandage and clean his wounds and saw his body covered in blood. He was still muscular but his body was starving and his ribs were visible as she cleaned him. She'd counted 4 bullet holes all together (she'd extracted the bullets with tweezers and then stitched the wounds closed just like she'd learned from Christian's mom when working at the hospital as a volunteer) coupled with bruises and cuts on his body and face. She'd then looked at his scars. The infamous marks marring his chest from a past that he wished to forget. She'd been able to touch his chest once upon a time but now, she wasn't so sure. Even so, she brushed her lips over each one before wrapping his body in bandages and covering him up with blankets. She'd wanted to take him upstairs and put him in her bed but it was up a steep flight of stairs and she couldn't carry him.

She considered asking Jose but something told her not to and she guessed that he was probably busy anyway having not seen him for a few days. So the first night, she'd made camp on the floor next to him to make sure he didn't injure himself or wake up in the night and she'd done the same on the second, third and forth night. She'd willed him to wake up so she could look after him properly. She'd wanted so much to take him to a hospital. she was so worried that he may have underlying injuries and, although she knew some things about treating wounds, she didn't know enough to look after him if there was something badly wrong. However, the hospital was miles away and she didn't have a car to drive him there, also, in his condition even a ride in an ambulance could cause him to deteriorate. The hospital in the city didn't have a very good reputation anyway. Dirty wards, rude doctors, long waiting times and a lack of beds. And Christian had a fear of anyone touching him so she could only imagine the torture of strange doctors and nurses speaking a foreign language prodding and poking him. He'd been through enough and she could take care of his needs.

She fed him the rest of the food and then, realising that he was still hungry and needed fattening up, fed him some bread and some of the meat she'd been saving in her fridge from the chicken who they lost a few days ago as well as a glass of fresh milk to build him up a little. She didn't have much, but what she did have she'd gladly give to Christian.

"Thank you," he said softly, watching her as she washed the dishes and dried them. She looked over at him and smiled and he couldn't help but smile back. But he had a pressing need and he wasn't quite sure how he wasn't going to manage to assuage it.

"Ana?" he asked. She turned to face him, placing the last dish away and then coming towards him.

"Yes?" she replied with a smile.

"I.. I erm.. I need to relieve myself," Ana blushed and Christian couldn't help but smile at her. She was still as shy as he remembered when it came to things like that. In bed, she had never been shy but if she was in the bathroom doing her make up of a morning and he came in needing to take a leek she shooed him out saying that she didn't want to hear that and made him wait.

"I don't know whether you'll be able to make it up to the bathroom, maybe it would be better for you to go outside?" Ana said, chewing on her lip as she thought. He had to force himself not to reach out and pull her lip from her teeth. She always used to do it when she was nervous or concentrating hard on something and it drove him crazy. The second she did it, he'd replace her teeth with his lips and bite them himself.

"Anything, although, the stitched up bullet hole in my leg may make it difficult to stand," she nodded, standing up and taking his hand in hers. Slowly and gently, a little at a time, she coaxed him to sit up until he was upright. The pain was unimaginable and his body so weak it immediately sought the soft couch and the warmth of a blanket but he would not soil himself. He was eternally grateful to Ana for not taking him to a hospital knowing how much he hated them since he was a little boy. His Haphephobia made even normal, everyday activities hard. His own mother couldn't touch him for god sake. Ana had been the one exception. He could withstand her touch and in fact, he'd enjoyed her touch very much. However, after not touching him for 5 years, he couldn't imagine that it would feel the same as it once she did. He couldn't imagine that he'd still find her touch calming rather than terrifying and he didn't trust her like he used to. But despite what happened, he knew she would never hurt him physically and he'd much rather her tend to him than a load of strange doctors at a foreign hospital.

"I'm just going to lift the blanket and then move your legs to the floor so you're sitting, ok?" she asked softly, squeezing his hand. He nodded, exhausted already from the slight exertion of sitting up and looking around. His body was shutting down already but he wasn't about to stop. She pulled the blanket from his body and only then did he get a good look at the mess covering his torso and legs. Bandages and bruising, aches and pains. He was just wearing a pair of boxers but his skin was a road map of abuse and white bandages. Ana carefully lifted his legs, careful to avoid the healing bullet wound in his left leg and moved them to the floor. Christian winced when his foot was placed on the ground; it was a foreign feeling. He'd have to hop but he needed to first know whether his other leg was going to cooperate.

"My left arm hurts," Christian said in a strained voice as she moved him to face the window and touched that arm gently.

"I'll take a look when we get back, I'll let you tinkle first," she smiled and Christian laughed at her very clean way of saying 'piss'. He immediately regretted laughing. His sensitive lungs making him cough and his whole body went into a seizure of pain. Ana held onto his shoulders whilst he breathed through the pain and when he opened his eyes, he saw very worried blue ones looking back at him.

"Are you ok?" she asked carefully. He nodded, a tight smile on his lips. she moved his hands to her shoulder and she helped him to stand. He was weak; so weak and his good leg shook from strain as soon as he stood up. A week without food, being bombed, shot at and almost drowned had made him a shell of a man. He moved his arm around her shoulder and apologized when she was forced to bare the brunt of his weight. He almost laughed when he looked down at her, this little lady holding up a 6'2, 190 pound man. Although, he doubted he was 190 pound right now, he felt like he was about half of that weight.

They walked slowly and carefully, Ana had the patience of a saint as she waited for him to muster up the energy to move his weary limbs. She decided that there was no way he was going to be able to go up the stairs. If he tripped, he'd send them both tumbling down. So she decided that the outside was going to have to do. Eventually, after a few minutes of groaning and shuffling, they made it outside.

"You'll have to go in front of the animals I'm afraid," Ana smiled, moving him somewhere a little more discreet where he wouldn't be watched by 20 beady eyes.

"I don't mind, I'm bursting," Christian said, leaning heavily on her as he tried to stop the lightheaded feeling building in his head.

"Breath Christian," Ana said, seeing that he was getting heavier and heavier to hold onto. He rested for a moment, his good arm on the wall, holding onto it and his bad arm, resting around Ana's shoulders.

"Ok, I'm ok," he breathed. "I don't think I can stand alone," he said with an apologetic look. She nodded.

"It's ok, I'll look away and try to block out the sound of you tinkling," he grinned. Peeing whilst only being able to stand on one leg and having someone else holding you up wasn't the easiest task in the world. Coupled with the fact that Christian was exhausted it was a tiring experienced. He managed to pull himself from his boxer shorts and was relieved when he'd finished.

"Done?" Ana asked, before turning to face him, relieved that he was indeed finished. He nodded but his eyes looked sunken and he had gone deathly pale, even more so than before. He needed sleep; food and lots of rest to heal him and that was exactly what she was going to give him. She hated seeing him like this; so weak and lifeless, a shadowy figure compared to the Christian she once knew.

"I need to lie down," he said, feeling woozy and loosing his balance a little, his arm clutching the wall before he could fall.

"Come on," she managed to get him back to the couch, practically dragging him, and pulled him gently under the covers so he was nice and warm. He'd eaten and had something to drink so he had no trouble passing out asleep the minute his head hit the pillow. She smiled at the soft snores emanating from his mouth and leaned down, kissing him on the forehead and breathing in his scent.

"Sleep now, baby," she whispered.

 **A/N - Hello! so a few people commented about Goa (India), being where Ana ended up and about the differences in language and culture e.c.t. which I completely understand. My choosing of that particular place was simply about location because on a map, it is where Christian's boat would have travelled down the route of the Indian Ocean from Iraq and to Goa on the coast. I hope this explains my decision and to those who didn't like the location, it won't effect the story too much anyway. I will be focusing on Ana and Christian.**


	4. Chapter 4

**4 - From the old to the new.**

He awoke the next morning hearing birds chirping and the sun shining through the window. Ana was nowhere to be seen but as he looked down, he noticed a pillow and a blanket on the floor. Had she slept there all night?

"Good morning," Ana breezed through the room, "how did you sleep?" she came towards him and brushed her hand over his forehead to feel his skin. He was a little clammy but nowhere near as pale as he had been before. The food and the sleep probably put a little colour back into him and he seemed a little brighter this morning.

"A little better," his voice was husky and it sent a shiver down her spine. She remembered how much she loved his morning voice and how long it had been since she'd heard the sound. Back when they were together and after a night of making love, she'd wake up to soft kisses and caresses from his skilled fingers. His voice, deep and dark, whispering everything he wanted to do to her before prying her legs open and pushing his thick cock inside her, making her forget everything but him. _"Good morning sweetheart,"_ he'd whisper in that voice. It was deep and croaky and it almost always led to them falling back into each others arms and loving each other, wrapped in blankets and limbs instead of getting up and dressed for the day...

"Ana?" he asked bringing her back into the room.

"Yes?" she smiled at him.

"Did you... I mean.. you didn't sleep on the floor last night did you?" he asked. She blushed and looked at him sheepishly. She had been caught.

"I just didn't want anything to happen to you in the night, I've done it the past few nights, I didn't want you to wake up in a strange place or hurt yourself," she said softly, clearly embarrassed.

"That's very sweet of you," he smiled, "but I don't want you to get a sore back,"

"I'm fine don't worry," she said, her cheeks still rosy red. "Anyway, I want to hear about why you were washed up on the shore and what's been happening over the last five years since I saw you," she smiled, changing the subject. She noticed his eyes darken for a moment before coming out of a dark mist which had covered his mind for a moment. _5 year ago she left me._ She instantly regretted making reference to 'the last time she'd seen him' seeing his face fall, but he quickly regained his thoughts.

"Yes, I'd love to know how you ended up here... and where here is as well,"

"Well that's settled then," she stood up and he admired her figure in yet another beautiful summer dress, "I'll make us some breakfast and we can have a catch up," Christian nodded, but she could see his face was scrunched up in pain, "I'll get you come more painkillers too whilst we're at it,"

"Please," Christian nodded. Ana made a mental note to change his bandages again later and maybe give him a sponge bath if he'd let her. She knew that he didn't like to be touched but she hoped that he wouldn't mind if it was through a sponge. But first, she wanted to get to know him a little better, what he'd been doing over the last 5 years and although she would never ask him, she wanted to know if he had moved on. Her heart ached at the thought of him having a wife or girlfriend back in America. She doubted that he'd have remarried considering what happened between them but maybe he had a long term girlfriend or even a child. She couldn't expect him to remain celebrate, and he was gorgeous. He probably had a stunning girlfriend who loved him and wanted him to come back home. She hoped not. That would break her heart. She wanted him to be happy, but the thought of him happy with someone else made her heart ache.

She made him scrambled eggs again and he wolfed them down like a starving man. She ate hers too, eating as much as she could before scraping her leftovers onto his plate. She liked to see him eat, it was usually the other way around due to Christian's childhood, but he was far too thin for her liking and he needed a little more meat on his bones.

"I don't even know where to start," Christian said once he'd eaten, she'd bandaged up his hurt arm into a sling last night even though she was sure it wasn't broken, so he only had one arm to drink his milk with and he sipped at the glass it gingerly, the taste of his medicine still potent. She wrapped his arm up very well considering she wasn't a certified nurse. His mother must have allowed her to do a lot of practice on patients when they were younger. Ana had always been fascinated by his mother's job and had asked one summer when they were teenagers if she could help. Grace Grey came home full of praise at Ana's abilities saying she was a natural and Ana worked there every holiday for a few days a week from then on.

Ana had also told him that she'd be giving him as much milk as possible to make him big and strong again and he wasn't going to deny her that wish. He could feel himself wasting away so needed to regain his strength so that he could stand or even walk - when his leg was better- for a step or two without almost collapsing from exhaustion.

"After...," Christian stopped at looked at her. He didn't want to bring it up but it was also a huge part of their past. She knew what he was about to say and looked at him with a sad smile on her face. A smile of regret and remorse. "After the wedding," he started, wincing when the force of the word sprouted from his lips, " I decided to join the army. I was depressed and quite hard to be around. I didn't cope with it well at all." Christian admitted. She felt tears flood her eyes and he stopped to look at her. She nodded her head for him to continue. As hard as it was to hear, she knew how much he had loved her and she knew how badly she broke his heart that day.

"Anyway," Christian said, clearing his throat," I did my training and my dad knew a few of the high up officers, Elliot started it with me too for a while and he liked it at first but couldn't cope with the early starts," Christian laughed, immediately regretting it when he started to couch. Ana brought him some water and he sipped it slowly, the refreshing liquid soothing his throat and shaky lungs. "After that, we were based aboard. I was trained in America but from then on we went wherever we were needed and then, America declared war on Iraq and we all headed there to fight. I made a good friend, Jason Taylor. He was with me the day I was captured. I suppose he was killed by the blast but I don't know what happened to him but he was a good man. The building was bombed, everything went up in smoke and then I was grabbed and beaten by 2 or 3 enemy soldiers. I was dragged to a car and then we went to a boat. We sailed for 3 days and I was starved and beaten some more. On the third day, I knew I needed to do something so I threw myself over board. That's when they shot at me and the rest is history." He smiled at her and she smiled back at him. "Your turn." He prompted, preparing to listen intently.

"The last 5 years for me haven't been very exciting. After the ..." she gulped, "Wedding, I tried to stay in America but ... I missed you terribly. I was depressed and a wreck without you." She admitted. He smiled at her, encouraging her to continue.

"I decided that I needed to get away so I packed my bags and only told Kate and my Dad that I was going. I did try to call you, just to let you know where I was going in case you ever wondered where I'd gone, but I know you changed your number long ago after I harrassed you with calls." She laughed humourlessly and his expression was guarded.

"I got here and set up a life for myself, I co own a farm and go to the market down the road to make money to survive. I live a simple life. That's all there really is to it. I guess I felt like I needed a change; a completely new start." She said softly.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"South Goa." He nodded. He was about to speak when someone opened the front door. His eyes widened, thinking that it was someone out to take him once more and kill him but Ana rested a hand on his arm. He looked at her sceptically, wondering who it could be, but his feelings of intrigue quickly became angry and very jealous when he saw a smiling man come through the door. Why didn't he knock? was this Ana's... boyfriend? he felt sick at the thought of another man touching Ana the way he used to. They may not still be together but the thought of her having a boyfriend made Christian want to scream at the top of his lungs 'she's mine'. But that was the problem, they weren't together and she wasn't his. Ana had been alone for 5 years without him, she's beautiful, she was bound to find someone else. He wondered if she loved him? he wondered if she screamed his name in bed the way she used to scream his. She wondered if he was the happily ever after that she hadn't found with him. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of her with this man. He wondered if she'd given her heart to him like she had so long ago to Christian.

"Hi Jose," Ana smiled. The man came into the room and looked at Christian on the couch, Ana's hand holding his. His face looked angry for a moment but then he converted it into a bright smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Hi Ana, how are you today?" he leant down and kissed her cheek and Christian felt like someone was standing on his painful chest as he watched them. Ana hadn't moved her hand from his yet. That was the only thing stopping him from grabbing this 'Jose' by his neck, injuries or no injuries. He had no right of course. Ana wasn't his by any stretch of the imagination and he should have let her go by now. 5 years was a long time and she'd clearly moved on and for a while he thought he had too. But alas, deep down, he knew he'd always love her; she still owned his broken heart as much as he didn't want to admit it.

"I'm great thank you, this is Christian," Jose looked at Christian for a moment and then leaned over to shake his hand. Christian tried not to smirk; one hand was being held by Ana and the other was in a sling. Jose saw this and his eyes squared slightly but instead he just nodded.

"You look pretty banged up there," he said. Christian couldn't place his accent. He sounded America mixed with something else but he didn't know what.

"He was washed up on the shore and barely breathing when I found him, he was kidnapped fighting in war, shot and beaten and I've been looking after him," Ana said. Her hand moved from Christian's much to his displeasure and Jose's glee and she stood up. She smiled at Christian. It was a smile that said 'we'll continue this later' and Christian nodded subtly. He no longer wanted to talk about their pasts. He wanted to talk about _her_ present and who this man was. To Christian's utter content, Jose was only about 2 inches taller than Ana, who was only about 5'5. He smiled slightly at the thought knowing that Ana always liked how tall he was but Jose was too busy drooling over Ana to notice.

"So what's up Jose? everything ok?" she asked politely. She smiled softly and he smiled back.

"I mainly came to check up on you but I also have some exciting news, I've sewn all of the seeds in the farm land and now we just have to wait for them to grow and we can sell them. You want to come and take a look?" Jose asked, giving Ana his arm to take and taking a quick look at Christian. Christian's mind was going a thousand miles an hour. It had been 5 years; 5 long and lonely years since they were together. They both lead completely different lives now. So why did it hurt so much that she could be with another man? why did it shatter him to think that she loved another and had given herself to someone when before it had only ever been him?

"Sure I will. Christian, I won't be long," Christian nodded at her but she could see he wasn't happy. She considered telling Jose that she'd go and see it another time but she'd already said yes now. With a final glance at Christian, she took Jose's arm and walked out of the room with him, laughing as he said something and leaning in close as he whispered something to her. Christian sighed in defeat. _Looks like she has found someone else to love._


	5. Chapter 5

**5 - A bout of jealousy, a nightmare and a revelation.**

Ana smiled as she came back into the house with Jose in tow. The farm really did look great now. They had a patch of land for crop farming and their animals. It had taken a lot of time and a lot of investment into it but it seemed now to be worth it. At first, she'd been sceptical that she could ever keep a functioning farm running and make a profit from it. What had she done in her life that remotely resembled anything to do with farm work? sure, she had a dog when she was younger and she's visited a number of farms in America but tending to one? it was a challenge, but she found that she was very good at it.

"Can I stay for dinner?" Jose asked. Ana scrunched up her face, inwardly screaming 'no'. Jose was great in small doses but she'd known for a while that he was a little... obsessed with her. Besides, she wanted to have dinner with Christian and maybe talk some more. It was nice to open up to him before, she wanted to know everything about him, she wanted to make him fall in love with her once more and regain his trust. Maybe it was presumptuous to think he ever could fall for her again or trust her but she couldn't live with herself if she didn't at least try. But, she couldn't say no to Jose and tell him she wanted to be alone with Christian, she was too nice to say anything like that to him and Jose was a good friend and 'business' partner, so she nodded her head.

"Sure, the more the merrier,"

They walked into the sitting room and she smiled when she heard Christians soft snores. She knew he'd be exhausted, he'd been up a few hours and the painkillers made him drowsy and he was still so exhausted and weak. She brushed his hair on the way past him and pulled the blanket up a little higher on his chest so that he wouldn't get cold. She kissed his forehead and then turned around, bumping into Jose who was looking at her sceptically.

"Why are you being so cosy with a man you hardly know, he could be a criminal, or a serial killer for all you know," Ana laughed.

"Oh yeah, Jose, he sure looks like a serial killer," she rolled her eyes.

"You hardly know him," Ana sighed.

"I do know him Jose, I've known him for a very long time,"

"What? how?" he asked incredulously.

"We were ... friends back in America, I've known him since I was 5 years old but we haven't spoke for a long time." she shrugged, not willing to give him any more information. She had told Jose some things at a weak moment once, but he didn't seem to remember or he wasn't adding two and two together about who the man on the sofa was to her. Jose nodded his head and decided it best to drop the subject for now. He was determined to find out more about this 'Christian' and to make sure he wasn't going to threaten him winning Ana over and making her his wife. He'd wanted to marry her since the day he met her and he knew she felt the same deep down. He just had to plan the perfect way to ask her out on a date. He'd been thinking over it for quite come time waiting for the perfect moment. He just hoped that Christian didn't wake up so that he could have dinner alone with Ana.

"We're having Chicken and vegetable for dinner," Ana said, pulled all that she needed out of the fridge and getting a pan out to put the vegetables in the oven. It was a small oven but it was perfect for her. She didn't eat much and she rarely had anyone around unless it was Jose.

"That sounds delicious, you're such a good cook Ana," Jose complimented. Ana smiled.

"Thank you, I do what I can," She liked to hum as she cooked, she always had. A lullaby that her grandmother used to sing to her when she was younger. She didn't know the same of it but it was the first song that came into her head whenever she was alone.

"Ana," she heard a groan from the couch and quickly dropped the spatula that she was using to cook the chicken in the pan.

"Jose will you take over a minute," he grudgingly stood up and mumbled something under his breath but she didn't bother to respond. She quickly went over to Christian. He hated how she jumped to attention every time he said her name. He hated how she looked at Christian, like he hung the moon; a way that she had never looked at Jose. He was jealous of the injured man on the sofa; unbelievably envious of how he managed to make Ana's eyes twinkle and heart race without doing a thing. If only he had that kind of power.

"Hey sleepyhead," Christian smiled at her as she walked towards him.

"Hey," he croaked.

"I'm just making dinner. Jose's eating with us." His smile straight away fell and he looked over to see Jose angrily moving chicken around the pan. Ana watched too and scowled when she saw him scrape the spatula across the bottom of the pan making a sharp screeching noise.

"Jose stop it! here let me do it again." She took the metal spatula from him and he kissed her cheek making her laugh, all the while Christian watched in envy. He wished this could have been him and Ana living here. He wouldn't care if it was just them living in this small house forever. He had to keep reminding himself of what she did to keep his jealousy at bay. _She doesn't want you!_ his mind screamed. But the real question he wanted to ask was _does she want Jose?_ from first impressions it didn't seem so much on her end, however, the man was insistent and a little too friendly for Christian's liking.

After a tense dinner or Ana trying to keep peace whist her two guests all but glared at each other, Jose reluctantly left leaving Christian and Ana alone once more. Ana was cleaning up after dinner humming softly to himself and Christian was thinking on the sofa. He'd taken another dose of painkillers but he wasn't ready to fall asleep just yet. His mind was racing with thoughts and worries; so much so that he barely heard Ana's sweet voice calling him.

"You're far away over there, where did you go?" she was kneeling in front of him now and referring to his thoughts. She was curious as to what had him thinking so hard and after the daggers that him and Jose had glared at each other whilst they ate, she imagined it was something to do with that. What was he thinking in that mind of his?

"Sorry, I was lost in my own world," he smiled softly, his eyes vulnerable. He looked like a lost little boy, so conflicted. She remembered what he looked like when she met him. When he was just 5 years old. An innocent little boy, shy and gentle but full of wonder after having such an awful childhood with his birth mother and her pimp. He was scared of everything and everyone, but not her. She'd been the only one he opened up to. He couldn't speak of some of the horrors he'd been witness to however, he had told her what he could remember. The only thing he could vividly describe was the singe of the lit cigarettes as they scorched his skin like a red hot iron and the indescribable hunger he'd felt after 4 days of lying with his dead mother. Grace had told her dribs and drabs of other things that had occurred, some of which involved him being tied up and locked in cupboards and him being that hungry that at one point, a three year old Christian had opened the freezer and eaten frozen pea's just to get something inside his starving body. It hurt her deeply even to think about. How could anyone treat a little boy with such venom?

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, smiling at him in encouragement. He took a deep breath and looked away from her.

"I'll leave just as soon as I'm better, as soon as I can walk without being in pain I'll get out of your hair," he said. She felt like crying and begging him to stay. She didn't want him to leave her; she never wanted him to leave. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat as she thought about him walking out of the door and out of her life once more. She couldn't bare it. Was this it? would she not get the chance to right her wrongs? would she not get the chance to prove her love and endless devotion to this man? she tried to swallow the lump in her throat but the tears burning in her eyes gave her away.

"Stay as long as you'd like, I like having you here," she whispered, "what's brought this on all of a sudden?" his mood this morning had been happy but now, he looked like he was close to tears.

"On that .. day, 5 years ago, I told you that I hoped one day you'd find a man who you'd love and be happy with even if he wasn't me. I see now that you have found someone else. I'd just like to know one thing if that's ok?" She was staring at him with her brows furrowed. What on earth was he talking about? who was this man? he couldn't be talking about Jose could he?

"Do you love him? and be that, I mean, do you love him more than you loved me?" he struggled to breath as he asked that question. It hurt so much to even think that she could love and be with another man. She frowned.

"Christian, what are you talking about?" she asked, moving her hand to clutch him.

"Jose," his voice was soft but she still heard him clearly. _Jose? what the hell was he talking about? she had no feelings for Jose, only friendship._

"What?" she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"You... and him," he could barely say the words, they felt foreign in his mouth. He was choking on every word he said, unable to form a sentence.

"Christian, me and Jose are friends. Absolutely nothing more. We share a farm and he comes around every so often for his dinner, that's all," he sighed in relief.

"But... the way he looks at you," Ana laughed. She felt like jumping in glee, he was jealous! he was jealous that she could have found someone else. He still cared! she wanted to get up and dance; she wanted to let her face be filled by a huge smile at the thought but refrained.

"Just because he looks at me like he's in love with me doesn't mean I look at him the same way. There's only ever been one man who I looked at that way and it seems I still can't help myself even now," she said softly, a sad smile on her lips and his breath hitched. What did she mean by that. Did she still love him? She didn't say anything more, she curled her fingers into his hair and kissed his forehead tenderly.

"I made a terrible mistake that day by what I did and I realised that as soon as I'd done it. I was scared and for a moment I thought that marriage was a bad idea. I watched my mother fail in 4 marriages and what it did to Ray. I realised soon after how stupid that thought was; that would never be us and that we were meant to be but by that time it was too late. I've regretted it for 5 years and If I have to, I will regret that day for the rest of my life. I just want you to know that I love you, I've always loved you and I will love you until I take my last breath. You're it for me Christian." He swallowed and nodded. He wanted to say that he loved her too, that he'd never stopped but the words wouldn't come out. His heart wouldn't meld itself to hers again, not yet.

"You don't have to say anything, I just needed you to know," she whispered, stroking his hand, "Now, since you were too busy staring daggers at Jose, I noticed that you didn't eat very much. I've told you that I'm going to fatten you up and get you strong again and you not eating isn't very helpful." He chucked.

"I suppose I was trying to intimidate him," Christian said sheepishly.

"No need, silly man. He wouldn't say boo to a goose," she smirked, "now, I will make you some more scrambled eggs since you love it so much but just so you know, if all of my produce gets eaten and my farm goes bankrupt, I'm holding you personally responsible,"

"I will take all responsibility," Christian said with a smile. Her words had touched him and brightened his mood considerably. He may not be able to say that he loved her yet; he may not have complete trust in her and he may not ever be able to face the fear of marrying her again but that didn't mean that he didn't feel love for her in his heart. That didn't mean he wasn't over joyed that she didn't love Jose.

* * *

5 days later

She heard rather than saw him. She promised him that she'd go upstairs to bed a few nights ago rather than create a pallet on the floor with blankets and pillows and sleep there, but as soon as she knew he was asleep, she'd come and lay there anyway. She was so scared that something would happen, like tonight, that she'd rather sleep on the hard floor than up in bed. He was thrashing around and moaning the word 'no'. She sat up quickly and looked at him. His face was dripping with sweat and contorted in fear. She knew he must be having a nightmare. He used to have them a lot when he was younger, usually about the pimp and the sound of a cigarette melting his flesh.

"Christian," she gripped his face, "Christian, sweetheart, wake up," he stilled and his eyes popped open. He warily scanned the room, panting and afraid and then his eyes landed on her.

"Ana, oh thank god," he pulled her to him with his one working arm and held her against his chest. She was surprised at first but soon cuddled close to him, trying to avoid his still healing wounds. He was warm and the texture of his skin was so familiar to her. She'd spent so many hours alone in bed with him when they were together, skin on skin and she relished the tingling sensation that drove through her as she touched him. How many times had she touched this body? she'd lost count and it felt so familiar to be touching him again.

"What happened?" she whispered, trying and failing to hide her disappointment when he let go of her.

He lay back, brushing his sweaty hair off his head and breathing heavily.

"I had an awful dream,"

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, gripping his trembling hand in both of hers.

"I.. we... they came into the house and ... I couldn't do anything," his eyes were still darting around as though he expected someone to jump out at him and her heart broke for him.

"Who came into the house?" she asked softly.

"The enemy soldiers, the ones that captured me, they grabbed hold of you, I couldn't do anything. You were screaming, telling me to save you and I couldn't move," he breathed. She leaned forward and took his sweaty face in her hands feeling his stubble.

"I'm fine, you're fine, we're safe here I promise you," she kissed his forehead. "You're all sweaty," she said and he smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry," she shook her head.

"Don't be sorry, I'll go and get some water and a sponge and clean you up," she kissed his forehead again and stood up.

"Ana, did you sleep on the floor again?" he asked, looking down and seeing her pillow and some blankets. He felt awful. She was so worried that she'd been sleeping on the floor and then looking after him all through the day. She shouldn't be doing that. She looked at him but didn't reply. He had his answer.

"Please sleep in your bed Ana, the floor can't be comfortable,"

"Christian, I don't want to sleep in the bed because I'd spend the whole night worrying about you. At least down here, if anything happens, I'll know about it, can we not do this right now?" she said, coming back with a bowl of warm water, some soap, a sponge and some medical supplies. She thought that it would be useful to kill 2 birds with one stone and clean and redress his wounds whilst she was at it. They were healing fast, and he wasn't in nearly as much pain. He even managed to stand up the other day to go and pee outside with only a little help walking there. The stitches were mending him nicely and she hoped that within the next week or so she'd be able to remove the stitches.

Her main worry was infection but she'd dealt with that using anti bacterial inflammatory control gel she'd managed to get from one of the market shops. She gently moved the blankets back, knowing that she'd have to get him new ones anyway due to them being soaked in sweat. The bandages had been decreasing as his wounds started to heal but he was still in pretty bad shape. He'd put on a little weight but not nearly enough, his stomach still concave and his ribs still showing slightly. She dipped the sponge in the water, wringing it out and then gently stroking his chest with it. She noticed his breathing grow heavy and looked at him. His eyes were black as night and staring at her like she was the eighth wonder of the world. Her breath caught. How did one look from his turn her to mush? She wondered what he was thinking.

The tension between them had been building for days but now, she could almost touch it. His hands were grasping hers as she brushed his body with the sponge, making sure she didn't touch him anywhere that was marked. She gulped as she felt herself burning under his gaze. The room was started to feel like a sauna as she stroked him. She hadn't meant for it to be sexual. The last time she'd washed his body he'd been delirious, coming in and out of consciousness and he'd cried out in pain every time she touched him in a particular area. Now, he was penetrating her with his gaze, her hands shook under his and she licked her lips to add some moisture. How could he still do this to her after all these years? turn her into a wanton mess with just a look from those grey eyes?

"Does it sting?" her voice was croaky and she cleared her throat.

"No," his husky tone sent a shiver down her spine. That voice. It reminded her of early morning caresses and whispered words. Scalding hot water and moans of pleasure. She brushed his scars carefully, making sure that the sponge barely touched him but he felt it through his whole body. His eyes closed and he tried to breath calmly, his thoughts swirling around his head like a hurricane. _I love you, I've always loved you and I will love you until I take my last breath. You're it for me Christian._ Those words repeated in his mind like a mantra and he scrunched up his face trying to slow down his mind. She watched him for a moment, hoping that she hadn't hurt him and when his face softened once more, she continued on her journey.

"I hated you," he said suddenly. She dropped the sponge in shock and turned to face him again but his eyes were still closed, "I was so angry that day that I broke my hand punching my bedroom wall at my parents the minute I got back there. My birth mother abandoned me and it felt like you were abandoning me too. Like I wasn't good enough for you so you left me and humiliated me. I tried to think of what I had done to make you not want me anymore because I thought it was all my fault. I went out of my mind thinking of every little thing I'd ever done, every little argument we'd ever had wondering which was the killing pinprick. Part of me wished I'd gone back and married you that day and the other part of me thought I wasn't worthy of you. My suit was covered in blood as I gathered my things together. It took me 2 hours to fix it the wall I'd just smashed through. I thought by going out to sea I could move on, but every single wave reminded me of your eyes. I tried to forget you, I thought for a while that maybe I had, but trying to forget only served in helping me to remember. The memories haunted me. It's so hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember and it killed me. At first, every nightmare I had was about that day. I'd wake up angry, sad, hurt. I couldn't get away from it, no matter how far I went away from you. The sea taunted me, my mind taunted me. I convinced myself to look for the good in our relationship, to say that because I had loved you, I had lived. You saved me when we were growing up more times than I cared to remember. You looked after me when I was sick, stuck up for me when I got into fights, slept in my bed, holding me when I needed comfort. I realised that as long as you were out there, I'd never be able to forget you. I was proud that you were mine, even for a little while but you weren't there anymore so I tried to move on, but they weren't you. I convinced myself that love could come to me once more, fierce and fast, but it never did. As much as I do still feel anger and hurt, I still have an awful lot of love for you, my heart doesn't belong to anyone else and I don't think it ever could. You're the only one who can hurt me and break me and you're the only one who can save me and heal me,' she was in tears; they were falling rapidly down her face blinding her vision but she didn't care. He still loved her. He was still hers even if he'd tried not to be. He watched her quietly, his eyes open and staring as she looked back at his through clouded eyes. His fingers reached out to touch her cheek, wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It wasn't you Christian, it was all on me. It was my fears and my worries that day that made me do what I did. It was the fear of ending up like my mother. But I realised soon after that ending up like my mother wasn't possible for us because we loved each other so much." she whispered self consciously, wiping her eyes and sniffing to stop him seeing her like this. She was a mess; but she always had been for him. She'd always melted on the spot whenever he was around and that feeling had stood the test of time. Her heart had been beating again since he'd come into her world once more 10 days ago but on hearing his declaration, it soared and fluttered. She felt like she could fly.

"You... you still love me?" her voice was shaky but she managed to look up into clear grey eyes. He nodded, a small vulnerable smile on his face.

"I never stopped,"

"Even after...?" he looked away for a moment.

"I was angry. I was so hurt and confused but it wouldn't have made me feel those things if I didn't love you and those feelings never changed."

The air between them crackled, they were slow dancing in a burning room and neither of them would make it out alive. They looked at each other. She took in every fleck of colour in his eyes; ever copper strand of his hair, the colour and texture of his skin, the slight bend in his nose. He ran his eyes along her face taking in every freckle, ever line that hadn't been there before. They were breathing the same air, a myriad of thoughts invading them. His hand still grazed her face, staring at her like she was an angel; his angel, the one who saved his life and he would continue to remember forever. Was there a couple in the world right now with the same passion? with the same emotion and past between them? the same spark alighting between them with a mere look? she smiled softly at him, her heart beating out of her chest and goose bumps erupting on her arms. It would never be known who initiated the action, but they moved towards each other, lips desperate to meet lips like magnets searching for their home. Her nose touched his, 2 sets of eyes still staring at each other in awe and longing. His were dark in want, fear bubbling beneath them and hers were bright in happiness. She closed hers first, stimulating him to do the same before lips touched softly.

Maybe it was his confession or maybe it was desire. It could have even been a mixture of both but the heat and effect of the kiss was astounding. It was as though a kaleidoscope of colours erupted in front of their eyes. She was scared to move; scared to break this perfect moment of tranquil and serenity in her life but as his lips moved against hers, she responded ardently, grasping his silk tresses in her hands and tugging his closer causing him to groan softly into her mouth. The soft tug of warm lips melding together like glass was enough to free a thousand unsaid words. They needn't be spoken, they didn't need to be heard, they were felt. After a few moments of soft kisses and heavy breathing they pulled back from each other. His eyes were black as night and hers were run with unuttered tears

"I've missed that," she blushed.

"Me too," he pulled her back to place a soft kiss on her lips again and then lay her down on his chest, holding her until they fell asleep. Neither of them knew what the future held, neither of them knew where they'd be a year from now, but one thing was certain; that kiss had sealed a sharp turn in their lives.

* * *

 **A/N - I thought it was time we had a bit of happiness :) what did you guys think?**


	6. Chapter 6

**6) A confession in the night**

 _Warning - This chapter briefly mentions serious subject matter._

Ana woke up the next morning hearing bird chirping and bright sunlight flooding through the window. She squinted one eye open feeling disorientated for a moment that she wasn't in her bed and then suddenly, she realised where she was. Her head was resting on a once familiar chest, her hand intertwined with another and her body was laying a top something muscular and warm. She breathed in a deep breath and all she could smell was him and her stomach fluttered. Last night had really happened; the smile on her face was blinding. They'd kissed. She touched hers lips and if she closed her eyes, she could still feel the unmistakable touch of his soft lips on hers, the brush of his stubbly jaw scratching her cheeks, his large hands caressing her face. He'd said that he still loved her. That there was no one else for him out there. She turned slightly, making sure that she barely touched his still healing body. Although his wounds had closed by now and the pain was minimal, she was still scared of tearing or opening the stitches. She gazed at his peaceful face as he slept. The straight line of his jaw, his eyelashes long and delicate, his breath even and slow and a small smile on his face. He was so beautiful. She reached up to run a finger down his nose to his full lips, tracing the edges very gently with the tip of her finger. He didn't move. She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips, savouring the sweet taste of him and the closeness. However, even that gentle touch hadn't roused him from sleep. She kissed his cheek and his forehead before gently getting off the couch making sure that she didn't knock him and wake him from his slumber. She pulled the blanket back over him and kissed his forehead once more before going to freshen up.

When she reached the bathroom, she washed her face, brushed her teeth and then hopped into the shower, hoping that Christian wouldn't wake up confused. Even though he'd woken up on that couch every morning for over a week now, she still had a fear that he wouldn't know where he was when he woke up and he'd panic. She had a quick shower, washing her hair, shaving and enjoying the warm spray as it caressed her skin. She mentally thanked Ray in these moments for installing a hot shower for her, a privilege that not many of the locals had. She got out, wrapping a towel around herself and grabbed one of her summer dresses from her wardrobe. She had so many that she'd collected over time. The market may not have been good for many things but the clothing there was an exception. They were cheap and the colours were always so bright and eye-catching. She chose one; It was her favourite, the white one with frills in the material down the front and at the hem and a brown belt around the middle. It went nicely with the tan she'd developed since being in Goa. She skipped downstairs smiling and walked back into the sitting room to see her soldier still sleeping. She smiled, knowing what would wake him up. She cracked some fresh eggs into a pan. She knew that she was going to have to go out and tend to the animals today. Jose had been working on the crops so she doubted he'd done much with the animals and, although she'd worked whilst Christian had been sleeping long hours when he first woke up, she hadn't done much since; Christian was her priority. As she guessed, her sleeping guest woke up the second he smelling eggs cooking in the pan.

"Morning," his voice croaked. she looked over her shoulder at him and smiled.

"Good morning sleepy head, it will be ready in a few minutes,"

"Thank you, it smells delicious as always, one day I will cook you something, I promise," she giggled. She wondered if last night was a one off or if he would act differently towards her now. Was he just in a vulnerable state because of what his mind was spinning up about Jose? would he kiss her again? she definitely hoped he would.

"Mr Grey, if I remember correctly, you can't even boil water," it was true. Christian was good at many, many things. Brilliant in fact. But one thing he'd never been able to do even under her and his mother's gentle guidance was cook. She remembered one time when they were 17 and she'd walked into his house and into the kitchen to see Grace Grey, the woman who was renowned for her calming voice and personality, shouting at her son as he held his ribs laughing. It turned out that she'd asked him to take something out of the oven whilst she went for a shower but Christian didn't think it was 'ready' so left it in. When Grace had come down, the air had been filled with the smell of burning and Christian was holding the blackened dish in his hands with a puzzled look on his face. Grace had to throw out her favourite Casserole dish and Safe to say, he wasn't allowed back in the kitchen for a long time after that.

"Miss Steele I'm wounded," Christian said with fake astonishment, "I make very nice toast," she giggled again and plated up his food for him, he sat up and she handed the plate to him. She was about to turn away when he caught her hand.

"Thank you," he smiled, bringing his hand up to her face and colliding his lips softly with hers. For a second she didn't breath as her heart rejoiced. He was kissing her; it was strange how much relief coursed through her but she'd been so terrified that he wouldn't remember kissing her last night or that he'd regret it somehow. She sighed against his lips and kissed him back, holding his cheek gently.

"You taste minty," he smiled against her lips and she flushed.

"I just brushed my teeth," Christian nodded.

"I'd like to do mine today, I'd also like to have a real bath or shower, I'm going to try and walk," she pulled back from him and gripped his hand in worry.

"Do you not think maybe it's too soon? I know your wounds have closed and are healing but maybe it's a little too strenuous, don't you think you should give it a two more days," her mind was coming up with a million scenario's and every one of them had Christian falling and getting seriously hurt. She shuddered.

"I need to get off this couch and try, I'll be careful I promise. Will you help me?" she could never say no to him, even if she didn't feel like it was the right thing to do. She nodded and he smiled at her. She grabbed her breakfast and they started to eat in comfortable silence.

"I think a bath would be easier, you won't have to stand for too long. I have to tend to the animals today so I'll do that whilst you have a warm bath and then, if you need my help, you can just shout me, I won't be too far away," Christian nodded.

"Good idea, my little lady," Ana smiled at the old nickname he used to call her sometimes out of affection. He used to call her a number of things; baby, sweetheart, love, darling, my Ana and my little lady. She hoped one day that she would be able to hear him call her all of those things again. Even just the sound of his voice was a huge comfort to her, but hearing him call her his little lady made her beam with happiness and her smile was infectious, transferring onto the culprits face. It was like they hadn't been apart for 5 years, like nothing had happened between them and they were still the happy, love struck young couple they had been before in that moment.

"I'll go and start a bath and then I'll come down to help you stand, ok?" he nodded, still eating his scrambled eggs.

She went into the bathroom. It was rather small but she still had a medium sized tub, a sink, cabinets and a shower installed, curtousy of her fathers demands. He'd been a builder and had told her that if she was going to live here, away and alone, that he wanted her to have everything that she needed. He'd installed electricity, central heating, a gas cooker, oven, landline telephone and of course, her favourite thing, her electric shower. She hadn't needed anything else, she didn't have internet and hadn't really needed it much. She listened to the radio most days to get her news and the rest of the time she was usually working either in the farm or down the market. Her bathroom was her second favourite place after her bedroom. The bedroom had a small double bed and a huge glass window looking out on to the other houses. Her house was small, but it was more modern than the other houses in the area.

She hummed to herself as she turned on the taps and grabbed some liquid soap that she'd found at the market as a replacement for bubblebath. That is one of the main things she missed about America, having so much variety and choice in terms of shopping. The market was great for fresh groceries and meat; it's a good trading source too, but she missed being able to go to Wholefoods or Walmart and grab whatever she needed. At first, when Christian and Ana first got together and bought their own apartment, only Ana had a job. Christian was out looking for one but he was just 18 and wasn't going to college. He didn't want to take any of his parents money saying he wasn't a charity case so money had been very tight, not that they cared as long as they had each other. Grace and Carrick Grey had admonished them for not taking the money they were offering to start up their lives, they were rich and they wanted to provide for the two of them, but they wanted to make it on their own. Ana had to shop with a budget and just get the essentials at first however, once Christian got his job at a sales worker, they had a steady income coming in and were able to branch out, getting new things to make their small apartment a home and then, and as Christian and Ana rose through the ranks of their respective jobs, they were able to buy a nice sized house within 3 years. How times had changed.

She headed downstairs whilst the bath was running and went to Christian as he lay on the couch looking slightly frustrated with himself. She could tell that he'd been trying to sit up himself and had found that he couldn't do it. His breathing was uneven and he was shaking slightly. She came and stood in his eye line and he looked up at her, his eyes softening.

"I think you need to grab my hands," he said, reaching them forwards, she'd taken off his sling last night as his arm hadn't been hurting as much and he wanted the mobility to move around on the couch. She held his hands in hers, holding his sore one with as light a grip as possible and he groaned as he tried to sit up. He felt a tight pulling sensation in his lower stomach and was worried about one of his stitches coming undone. He was stiff for not getting up very much apart from to relieve himself and Ana always had to practically carried him when he needed to go. Ana had wanted him to go upstairs for a real bath and to sleep in a bed for a few days but he hadn't felt that he had the strength to managed the climb upstairs. Today was different. Today he felt like he was king of the world and it was all down to her and their kiss. He pulled himself upright and then turned around on the couch so he could plant his feet on the floor. The first time he'd done that, the pain ripped through him like a wave but now, he just felt achy.

"Ok?" Ana asked.

"Yes," he nodded. He squeezed her hands and pushed up from his feet, standing quickly and gripping onto her shoulders. His legs were stiff but he wasn't in much pain. His wounds were healing nicely and soon Ana would hopefully be able to take the stiches out leaving him with nasty war scars. Ana tried not to scan down his body but she couldn't help it. She'd been feeding him up and he'd gained some weight making him look strong and rugged. He hadn't had any excersize in the last week or two but nevertheless, his muscular arms and chest were burley, his 6 pack clenched as he winced and his Adonis belt was clearly defined, leading into his low hanging boxer shorts. She licked her lips as she stared at him, feeling hot and sticky all of a sudden. His hair was a wonderful mess and his stubble had grown into a short beard again despite her shaving him just a few days ago. He looked so handsome and she longed for him; she always longed for him. One look at him aroused her beyond belief.

"Tell me if you need to stop," she said, walking backwards and keeping a hold on him.

"So far so good," he grinned a boyish smile and she found herself smiling back at him. She led him slowly up the stairs, stopping every time he winced and then continuing. Finally, after a few agonising minutes of walking, Christian got the hang of it. His legs ached but they were less shaky now and he was able to loosen his grip on Ana and take slow steps to the bathroom on his own.

"Here we are," Ana smiled, turning the taps off and turning to him. "I'll go get you some towels," she left the room and he gingerly pulled his boxer shorts down to his mid thighs and then managed to shimmy them off and stepped towards the bath tub to try and get in. He used his good arm to he reached over the other side of the plastic tub and grabbed a hold of it, stepping one and then the other foot into the bath. He realised with annoyance that he hadn't taken off his bandages; he sighed and tried to get back out of the tub and put his boxers back on so he didn't make Ana uncomfortable when she waltzed into the room carrying towels and an assortments of soap. She dropped everything when she saw him in all his glory, flushing bright red and trying with all her might not to look at a particular part of his anatomy. An impressively large part of him which she'd seen hundreds of times before. He moved his hands to cover himself and smiled sheepishly as he watched her eyes look anywhere but at him.

"Sorry, I tried to get in but I realised that my bandages were still on," Ana cleared her throat.

"Yes.. of course,"

"You can look now, I think I'm covered," he said. She nodded, and carefully moved her gaze up his muscular frame to meet his grey eyes. She removed his bandages gently and looked over his skin. His cuts and bullet wounds were merely marks on his skin. The stitches worked wonders and there was no signs of infection. She helped him into the tub which was full to the brim with bubbles and then laughed when he groaned.

"God that feels so good,"

"You relax in there for a while, it will sooth your muscles a little. I think I might be able to find you some clothes, Jose might have left some here at some point," Christian's eyes quickly went wide and he felt the anger brewing inside him mixed with insane jealousy. Were they more than friends? hadn't she assured him that they weren't. His mind once again was contradicting his heart and he felt a pressing need to question her.

"Jose stays over?" he tried to keep the accusation and contempt out of his voice. What she'd done during their 5 year absence was nothing that he could get angry for. It was her life. He had lead a life of celibacy so he couldn't say anything but it hurt; the thought of her with Jose made him red with anger and if he felt he had the strength in him to do so, he would have his hands around Jose's neck by now for touching her. She furrowed her brows at his question.

"No, he's never stayed over,"

"Why would he leave clothes here then?"

"We work on the farm and then we get dirty so he has a shower here sometimes and I wash his clothes," Christian swallowed and felt his jealousy seeping out of every pore in his body.

"Oh," she had seen his face fall and she wasn't quite sure why.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Nothing," he shook his head but he still wasn't looking at her, preferring to stare at the bubbles on the water.

"Christian, something is clearly the matter," she sat down on the edge of the tub and looked at his face willing him to meet her gaze. He didn't say anything and she sighed. A quiet brooding Christian was the most worrying version of him. That was when his brilliant mind was working overtime and she needed to bring him back to her.

"Just tell me what's wrong,"

"I..." Christian sighed, "I guess it's just hard to hear about you being with another man," she gasped, staring at him in shock and then broke out into peels of giggles. He watched her like she'd gone mad and found himself getting mad. Why was she laughing at him? was she laughing about his feelings?

"You silly man," she said with a smile when she'd finished her laughing fit and seen his the angry expression on his face, "did you not listen to what I told you? I've never been remotely interested in doing anything of that sort with Jose, he comes in, has a shower whilst I'm downstairs and then grabs his clothes from outside the door where I leave them once they're washed and dried."

"Oh," Christian said sheepishly, looking at her with guilt on her face.

"I... I haven't... done anything with anyone else, only you," she admitted in a soft voice. His head shot up and he felt a surge of desire and pride soar through his veins.

"R..really?" she nodded sadly.

"Kate tried to get me to date again, but I couldn't. All I wanted was you, even if you didn't think I did. And then, when I got here, I didn't know anyone. Jose is my only friend here and I have no romantic attraction to him. And, the most important reason is that I only ever wanted to be with you, I treasured the fact that you've been my first and only for everything," he smiled at her, a beaming smile.

"I'm sorry, I just, my mind filled with so many things," he said sheepishly and she nodded.

"It's ok, I'm going to go down and do some work in the farm, shout me when you want to get out and I'll help you," she desperately wanted to ask him if he'd been with anyone else but she somehow knew the answer. It would kill her to hear it from his lips, that he'd been with another girl, that another human being knew what it was like to have her Christian inside her; that he did the same things to them that he did to her, that they did things to him. She couldn't think of another woman touching and kissing him; touching what used to be hers.

She went back downstairs to sort out the animals. She did a quick sweep of the stables and fed them and then she collected the eggs from the coop. She headed back indoors and helped Christian out of the bath. She handed him some clothes; the biggest and stretchiest clothes of Jose's she could find and he managed to dress himself without much help except when pulling up his trousers because of his weaker arm. It wasn't hurting him as much and he could move it which showed that her thoughts were correct and it wasn't broken, however it was still stiff and he had little strength in that arm for the time being, she thought that maybe he'd done something to a tendon or some muscle tissue had been torn but she didn't think he needed a bandage on that particular part anymore. The man wouldn't set foot in a hospital, even if his life depended on it so she had no clue if there was any lasting damage underneath the skin but from what she could see, he was healing well. She was going to make him sleep upstairs in her bed tonight and she'd take the couch. She wanted him to get a good night sleep and the couch wasn't the most comfy thing in the world. She didn't mind sleeping on it though as long as he was looked after. She knew that he wouldn't let her, he'd already reprimanded her enough for sleeping on the floor, but he needed to heal and get back to full health and to do that he needed comfier sleeping quarters. He managed to get down most of the stairs by himself before almost slipping and needing her help. She took him to the couch and sat him down.

"I don't want to lay down," he said, a slightly pout on his lips. "I want to walk around, maybe we could do some farm work together?" she giggled at him.

"One step at a time soldier, you're injured remember?" he smirked. He leaned in to kiss her and she responded eagerly, running her fingers through his hair and smiling. A fake cough broke them from their embrace and Ana's head whipped to the door where Jose was standing, a hard look on his face. Christian smiled at his demeanour. _That will show the fucker_ he though, wrapping his arm around Ana's shoulder.

"Are they my clothes?" he asked, staring at Christian's attire.

"Yes, I didn't think you'd mind, he didn't have anything else and he wanted to wear actual clothes instead of walking around in his underwear," Ana tried to lighten the situation that she could see rising between the two men who were glaring at each other like they wanted to fight.

"I see," Jose said, "and when did this," he waves between them, "happen?"

"I don't think it's any of your business," Christian stated.

"Well, she's my good friend so it is my business," Jose glowered at him.

"What can I do for you Jose?" Ana asked, trying to change the subject.

"I came to see you, I wanted to make sure you were ok," Jose looked briefly at her before turning his gaze back to Christian.

"She's fine, you can go now," Christian stood up and Ana looked between them worriedly.

"Oh, he can stand now," Jose sneered.

"Jose," Ana reprimanded.

"When are you going to get it in your head, Ana doesn't want you,"

"Christian," Ana turned to him now. This was going too far already.

"Oh, and she wants you?" Jose asked, "I remembered something yesterday you see, something to do with your name. You're the man she jibbed at the alter. She told me everything." Jose smirked. The blood drained from Ana's face and Christian's mouth dropped open.

"Christia..." she whispered, trying to grab his hand but he pulled it away.

"You told _him_?!" he shouted, pointing at a smiling Jose and moving away from her slowly, his wobbly legs the least of his worries.

"No... I... yes I did, but..."

"You told him?! are you kidding me? this stranger? I can barely talk about it without going to a very dark place but you can freely tell your buddy Jose?!"

"Christian," her eyes filled with tears and she grabbed for his hand again and once again, he moved away from her. She burned him, she had marked him once more.

"I can't believe I was starting to let you in again," he said, more to himself than to her but she heard it and it crushed her. He moved out of the room without another word, shuffling as fast as his legs would carry him outside into the yard as Ana broke down on the couch into gut wrenching sobs.

"It's ok Ana," Jose moved towards her, a little worried by the whole scene. He wanted to hurt Christian, not Ana. He wanted to split them up for sure, but her pain was making him feel guilty.

"How can you say that?! he hates me, and it's all your fault. I told you everything at a weak moment and you know that. I was crying, I was so low and you know what I was going to do." His heart dropped as he remembered that awful day and he felt the guilt eat him up.

"I'm sorry Ana," he whispered. She shook her head, getting up.

"I'm going to go and lie down in bed," she whispered and left to go upstairs. He could hear her gut wrenching sobs from downstairs and it killed him that it was his fault. He swallowed down his pride and did what he knew he needed to... he went to find Christian. As much as he was jealous of the man, he'd rather Christian be with her and her be happy, than for to be sobbing her heart out.

Christian wasn't hard to find, he couldn't go very far or very fast so had only managed to get to the stable. He was sitting on a barrel of hay petting Shelly the horse, his face vacant.

"Hi," Christian whipped his head around to fix the intruder with an icy glare. "I know I'm the last person you want to speak to right now, but, Ana's sobbing her heart out in the house,"

"You should go and fix it, she tells you everything," Christian said bitterly through clenched teeth. He knew that Jose was her only friend here, but the fact that she'd told him what happened made him feel so betrayed.

"Christian, you don't understand,"

"Just go away Jose," he said through gritted teeth.

"No, you need to listen." Christian ignored Jose and turned back to petting the horse, "I walked into the house about 6 months after I met Ana because she wasn't at the farm and I needed to speak with her. It was quiet when I walked in, but I thought she'd be in the house so I called her name but she didn't answer. I was going to leave assuming that she was at the market or had gone off somewhere when I heard her crying softly upstairs. I ran up to the bathroom and she was sat naked on the floor, with some strange pills in her hand. She'd tried to ..." he couldn't say the words but Christian knew what he was going to say and turned to face Jose. He felt sick. "She threw them up and I got rid of the rest of them and sat with her whilst she cried. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she just kept telling me that she 'couldn't live without him'. I didn't understand so I asked her what was wrong, and after being prompted a few times, she told me all about you, how much she loved you and how much she missed you, she felt so lonely. It seems that something had prompted her to think of you and then she'd been upstairs all day self loathing; she was in a dark place. Look, Christian, as much as I hate to admit it and as much as I hate you because of it, I'm no competition for you. You'll never have competition. The girl worships the ground you walk on and needs you like air. I don't want you to be together, but more than that, I want Ana to be happy and it pains me to say that I can't make her happy, only you can, only ever you. She regrets what she did every single day and I know that if she had a time machine, she'd go back and correct her mistake. It hurt you what she did, but it killed Ana that you got hurt." Christian was in shock. Whether it was Jose's words or what Ana nearly did he didn't know but his heart was beating two times too fast and he felt like he was going to be sick. His head was pounding with thoughts but the first one in his mind, the one that was written in flashing lights was to go and see Ana.

"Thank you Jose," he said sincerely.

"Go see her, she'd gone to bed, can you get up the stairs?" Christian almost scoffed but refrained and nodded.

"I did before, I should be ok," Jose nodded.

"She values you a lot as her friend Jose, I didn't appreciate that before, but knowing what might have happened if she had gone through with what she was planning to do, I realise that you have done a lot for her," Jose smiled sadly at him and nodded his head. Christian patted his back on the way past him into the house and Jose felt his guilt lifting but an empty hole was left behind that he knew now Ana would never fill. He left to walk home, sad and deflated.

Christian stumbled slightly into the house and could hear her sobs the second he entered the sitting room. It was getting dark and he was struggling already to walk around so he grabbed onto the wall to gain his bearings for a moment before heading out of the sitting room and slowly walking up the stairs.

She didn't hear him over her sobs, she was laying on her side facing away from the door, curled up in bed with her face in her hands. He stumbled to the door and grabbed the handle, watching her as she cried. Her tears broke his heart and he knew he had to do something. Knowing what she almost did and seeing how upset she was made him want to cry himself. He walked slowly to the bed and carefully climbed over the covers towards her. She stiffened having now heard anyone coming and, thinking it was Jose, was about to tell him to go away. She shuffled further away from him when she felt a strong arm wrap around her and a muscular back against hers. She could smell him, fell him all around her and instantly melted into his frame.

"Shh, please don't cry Ana," he whispered into her ear, kissing her cheek and burrowing his nose in her soft hair. She felt goosebumps erupt all over her body at the sound of his voice and the feel of him so close.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you, I'm so sorry for not hearing you out," she turned over in his arms and buried her face in his neck. He wrapped both of his arms around her, one of his hands stroking through her hair, curling the strands around his finger as the other lay gently on her waist holding her to him as she cried. She sobbed against him until no more tears would come out of her eyes. She never wanted to move from this spot; in the arms of the man she loved, surrounded by his scent and bathed in his warmth. He carefully lifted her face from where she'd buried it and stroked the tears from under her eyes, smiling sadly at her.

"Hi," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Hi," she breathed, "I'm sorry," she was embarrassed that he'd found her so upset.

"Ana I'm the one who should be sorry, Jose told me how... how he found out that piece of information," she lowered her head ashamed. She never wanted him to find out what she'd almost been stupid enough to do. She'd found some strange pills that were for headaches that she had purchased and one point or another and almost downed the lot. If Jose hadn't come and stopped her... She was just so miserable without him, she'd lost her whole world and for a moment, life didn't seem worth living any longer.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I'm sorry, I feel so tired," he sighed and pulled her tighter.

"I'm sorry that you felt that you didn't have a way out Ana, I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. I'm sorry that I shouted at you and made you cry," she shook her head and curled herself around him, as close as she could possibly get.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't be what you deserve," Ana breathed. Christian shook his head and pulled her even closer to him, her face against his chest, his soothing heartbeat reverberating around her ears and surging hers to beat double time.

"Please stop saying you're sorry Ana, it's my turn now," he kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose; wherever he could, wiping away her tears.

"I love you Christian. I was so scared when I first came here but when I thought of you, I felt safe. You were always on my mind and that day... it all just became too much,"

"Shhh, please, just breath Ana, just breath," he whispered, kissing her temple. She cuddled close to him, revelling in the feel of him and how incredible he smelled.

"Please don't leave me yet, I'm not ready," she said, so softly that he barely heard her.

"I'm not going anywhere Ana, I do have something to ask you though," Christian said, a smile on his face. He wanted to make things right, and that meant starting over, a clean slate. It was obvious that she'd been hurt as much as him that dreadful day, maybe even more so. What had broken him had destroyed her, so much so that she didn't even want to live anymore. She made him suffer that day but It was also clear that she'd suffered too. She said she loved him and he believed her. He couldn't move on with his life, he couldn't be happy without giving Ana another chance. He had to see if they could make it. He had to know if the girl he'd loved since he was 5 years old would still be his when they were old and grey. He hoped she would, he hoped that it was fate that brought them back together after circumstance drove them apart. This was what he needed; he didn't want recurring nightmares and 'what if's' swirling around his mind any longer. They both needed clean slate, another chance to get to know each other, to fall in love all over again. If it didn't work out, then at least he could say he'd tried.

"Will you come on a date with me Anastasia Steele?"


	7. Chapter 7

**7) For the first time.**

She'd woken up with a smile on her face for the first time in years despite the heavy tears that she'd sobbed the night before. She was wrapped in Christian's arms, his soft copper hair brushing again her neck and his body pushed against hers. She didn't even know what time they'd fallen asleep after talking. He'd asked her out on a date and she couldn't have been happier if she tried. He wanted to start over again. She had kissed him and almost screamed the word 'yes' when he'd asked her. Of course she'd go on a date with him. She'd sail around the world with him if he asked her; walk across the desert if her requested it of her, she'd do anything for him.

So here she was, getting ready for her date with Christian Grey. It still hadn't cemented in her mind that this was actually happening. How long had she wished to go on a date with this man. Even in her wildest dreams she'd only ever asked for his forgiveness and now, she'd been given so much more than that. She picked out her most beautiful dress. She wanted to look her very best for her date tonight with the man she loved. She wanted to look beautiful and have him think so and this dress, was her favourite. It was one of the only articles of clothing that she'd brought from America with her. It was hand crafted and a little flirty due to the length. It went down to her mid thigh and showed off her tanned legs. She realised that this was only a date, a first date of sorts, however, she knew this man intimately, she knew this man inside and out or, at least she used to know him that well. One of his favourite parts of her used to be her legs. He'd spent hours kissing and caressing them and she'd often catch him staring at them if they were sat with friends and she got up to get something. If they were sat together, his hand would always clutch her thigh seeking warm skin and intimacy. She missed those days more than anything, but now, there was a hope that they may eventually get back to that place again.

Christian had left an hour ago to 'speak to a friend'. He was walking with a limp and still looked uneasy on his feet but he was getting better. She asked to go with him, worried that he would overreach himself but he wouldn't let her saying it was part of her surprise. So she decided to spend the time he was out to make herself look worthy of being on Christian Grey's arm. He told her she was beautiful and she believed him, however, tonight was special. She did her make up light and dewy. She was a little out of whack with applying makeup, she tended not to wear it due to her working on the farm. She brushed her hair and a clip in it to keep it off her face and she put on her only pair of heels. She never really went out so hadn't had a chance to wear them, however, if she had any chance of kissing Christian again tonight, she needed to wear heals to be able to reach his shoulders. With a spritz of perfume and a quick once over check in the mirror she felt herself getting giddy with excitement for her date. Once, about a year after the wedding and a few months before she'd decided to leave, Kate had tried to set her up on a date with a man called Paul. She'd said no repeatedly but Kate tricked her by saying they were going to dinner and inviting Paul along instead. Paul was nice enough but he wasn't Christian. He made a few jokes that Ana had tried to laugh at but he wasn't as funny as Christian. He'd complimented her numerous times and she'd smiled and thanked him, but it didn't feel right that another man was saying those things to her. At the end of the night, he'd told her he wanted to see her again and she'd remained quiet. He kissed her cheek and all she wanted to do was wipe it away. As soon as she got home, she cried all night. She was inconsolable, that date had solidified that moving on from Christian wasn't an option. She'd always compare every man she met to him and they'd always fall short.

She heard the front door open and his voice calling for her. She smiled and skipped down the stairs, her heart pumping double time in excitement. She didn't see him at first and wondered where he'd gone. She check the sitting room and kitchen and then, when she turned around, she saw him standing by the door with some flowers in his hands. He was wearing a suit shirt, trousers and blazer and he looked unbelievably handsome. She heard him gasp at her appearance and smiled.

"Where... how?" she questioned, her hands indicating to the dress code and flowers.

"My new friend Jose," Ana's eyes widened.

"Jose? but..."

"We spoke, yesterday after our argument. He helped me then and he's just helped me now. I got this suit for a great price," she smiled at him.

"You look very handsome,"

"And you look beautiful, here, these are for you," he handed her the flowers. They were an array of colours; pinks, oranges, yellows. They smelled incredible.

"They're lovely, thank you," she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"They have nothing on you, baby," she giggled in happiness and her heart fluttered in her chest. He called her baby. That was something she'd missed for so long. She loved being his baby; his girl. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes gleaming with elation as she took his hand and walked him into the sitting room so that she could put the flowers in some water.

"So where are we going Mr Grey?" she asked.

"Now, that would be telling," he smirked, waiting for her by the door. He gave her his arm and they locked up behind them. She could tell he was putting in a great amount of effort to conceal his limp and she squeezed his arm tightly. They didn't walk far before turning a corner and walking up another path. Ana watched as the locals walked passed them going about their day and smiled at them. Christian walked them to a small street of shops that Ana had walked down many times and then went into a small, outdoor restaurant that she had noticed before. She clung to Christian's arm as he opened the door for her.

"You must be Jose's friends," a server said in a thick Indian accent. Christian nodded and reached out to shake the mans hand.

"Yes, thank you for seating us on such short notice,"

"No problem at all," the man walked the couple into the small dining area where a few other couples, all dressed up, were eating their meals and chatting to each other. Christian pulled out Ana's chair for her to sit down and then sat down opposite her once they had a table. The server left them to check over the menu and Ana took hold of Christian's hand over the table.

"I've never seen this place before, how did you find it?" she asked.

"It's one of the only places that takes US dollars and the owners speak English. One of my friends in the army, Taylor, always told me to have some money in the heel of your boot in case of emergency. My boots are waterproof and I managed to convert the dollars that I kept in there into Rupee's. Also, it's one of the finest places in the whole of Goa according to Jose, he knows the owner so was able to get us a table," Ana still couldn't believe that Christian was now friends with Jose. Only yesterday they'd been at each other's throats. At this moment in time though, she couldn't bring herself to care. All she was bothered about was having the perfect date with the perfect man; her man. She grinned at him.

They both ordered Tandoori chicken. Ana wasn't one for spicy food and hadn't really gotten into the Indian delicacies since she'd come to Goa but they didn't serve anything non spicy. She didn't care what she ate anyway, she just smile at the man who sat across from her; the man who made her heart beat. Christian was in awe at how beautiful she looked tonight. He'd always been slayed by her beauty but tonight, she looked like Aphrodite herself. A goddess among mere mortals. He couldn't walk away again, he just couldn't. If that meant he had to risk his heart again, then he'd send it into the flames a thousand times for Ana. He'd risk it all and give himself up for a lifetime with her. They found each other again, whether by fate or fortune and he wasn't letting her go again. She was his; and _only_ his.

"I want us to start again Ana," Christian said, taking a bite of his chicken. She almost choked on her food.

"What do you mean?"

"We've both made mistakes, but sometimes the wrong choices lead us to the right places. I want us to wipe the slate clean and get to know each other again. I want us to go through everything all over again, well... except the obvious. I want us to date, to go out together, to talk and laugh with each other, just like we used to. I want drunk nights of dancing with you, I want you in my arms and by my side. I want to fall in love with you all over again. A fresh start so we can be stronger," Ana smiled at him, tears welling in her eyes. She put down her fork and grabbed his hand across the table. This man was everything to her. He meant the world to her, more than that, he was her world.

"I want that to, I love you Christian," she whispered.

"And I love you, I always will," she tried to keep her tears at bay so that they wouldn't draw attention but she couldn't help it. He said the words she'd been dying to hear. 'I love you'. It was her only weakness, this man's love. And forever she would aim to protect him from hurt, protect his heart that he was once again so valiantly giving her. He'd done that once and she'd broken it but she would never hurt him again. She vowed to show him every day how much she loved him, as long as he'd let her. She'd heal the wounds of his past as well as his present. She'd never take him for granted, the hole in her heart and soul that she'd felt for 5 long years had finally filled. She felt happy for the first time in forever and it was all because of him. She willed herself to have some self control and not just over the table and into his lap. Instead she clutched his hand with both of hers trying to convey to him with her eyes just how much that had meant to her. He knew of course. It had taken a lot of courage to finally say those words. After the wedding, he'd vowed to never say those words to another woman ever again. That he'd only get his heart broken if he loved again. He'd kept that vow. The only woman he'd ever loved was Ana. His first love and his only love.

"I must ask though, call it curiosity, why here?" Christian asked, referring to the country. Ana laughed, her eyes bright and sparkly.

"I didn't exactly decide to come here. I just wanted to leave and had no idea where to so Kate had this idea that I would spin a globe and close my eyes. Wherever my finger landed was where I was going to leave for."

"The ever surprising Katherine Kavanagh," Christian rolled his eyes, "do you know, one time when I came home from leave, I was having dinner with her and Elliot. And I was talking about the fact that Mia was trying to organise for everyone to go on a big family holiday and Kate immediately suggested we all go to Goa. Elliot and I looked at her like she was crazy but she had this glint in her eyes and she was staring at me as she said it. I honestly thought she was mental and I told Elliot that later on, but she was trying to drop hints to me all along that this is were you where," Ana giggled. That sounded like Kate.

"I saw her a while ago. She refused to tell me anything about you knowing that it would only upset me. I asked her a few times how you were but she wouldn't tell me anything. I was mad at first thinking that she was doing it to be mean but I realised that she was protecting me." Christian nodded.

"She's a good egg. I used to think she was strange though. Remember when she used to stare at me and scrunch up her eyes like this," Christian said, mimicking her. Ana giggled and nodded.

"It was because she had a crush on you," Ana said.

"No, I think it was because she's deranged," Ana laughed and shook her head, taking a sip of her drink.

"Thank you for organising this Christian, thank you for giving me another chance,"

"You don't have to thank me baby, I'm just sorry that it took me 5 years to realise everything,"

They finished the rest of their meal, laughing and joking with each other just as they used to. They felt carefree and drunk on the others presence. He took her hand, limping slightly as they walked, and they left the restaurant journeying the short distance back to Ana's house. They walked in and locked the door. It was dark out, the moon the only light giving everything a serene glow. She went to turn on the lights but Christian stopped her. She could barely see his face but she could sense that he was smiling. He pulled her into the sitting room and they stood facing each other by the window.

"Do you remember when we were practicing dancing for prom after mom made us take those lessons? you kept looking at our feet and we kept doing all of the moves wrong so I suggested we turn out the lights and you could only see my eyes in the moonlight. We danced together all night, just looking at each other, taking in the others presence," she nodded her head, the moonlight just illuminating their faces.

"Take my hand Ana," like a magnet, her hand touched his and she grasped it, her other stroking over his shoulder as his curled around his waist. He pulled them closer together, so close that she could smell him and feel the heat of his skin with every breath she took.

"We're going to dance," his voice was a whisper against her ear and it made her whole body turn to goo and goose bumps erupt all over her skin. His voice was deeper than she remembered and so sexy. How could he do this to her with just the sound of his voice? how could he make her feel so hot and needy with just a whisper? she rubbed her thighs together to try and create some friction hoping that he wouldn't notice. He started to move his feet, first forward and then back, left and then right. She followed him like a master, never faltering. She'd follow him anywhere. He softly hummed the melody to a song in her ear. A song she knew all to well. A song that made her eyes water and her heart stop whenever she heard it; their song.

"For the first time," she stated, her voice wavering.

"You remember that night don't you baby?" he asked and she nodded, tears filling her eyes, "everyone was watching us, glaring at us, envious of us. We were dancing like we were the only people in the room; so in love, so perfect for each other," he breathed.

"I love you Christian," Ana whispered, cuddling him close to her as they moved around the room, the moonlight serenading them in a veil of silence.

"We've been through so much Ana, and we will go through so much more, but as long as we can do all of it together, we will survive it all," she clutched him to her tightly, her face burrowed in his chest, sobbing softly. She couldn't get close enough, she wanted to climb inside him and stay there forever. After a few minutes of just breathing him in, she couldn't help the yawn that erupted from her. He chuckled, the movement causing her to move her face from his chest.

"I think it's time for bed," he took her hand and walked them up the stairs. He had to turn the lights on, almost losing his footing on his bad leg. They made it to the bedroom and he stripped down to his boxers whilst she reached into a drawer and pulled out a shirt; a familiar shirt.

"Is that...?" he felt his throat become dry as she pulled the shirt over her body. It came down to just above her knees.

"I took a few of them with me, I sleep in them every night, I can smell you on them and it helps me to sleep," she whispered vulnerably.

"It looks better on you than me," she giggled at him and he climbed into bed. She shut the door and then crawled in with him under the covers. It was so peaceful and perfect, sharing the bed with the man she loved. For 5 years she'd tossed and turned in her sleep always seeking his arms. For 5 years he'd wanted her to hold as they slept and now, they were together. She turned to face him for a moment, stroking her fingers along the side of his face. He smiled at her softly, his eyes never moving from hers. He leaned it and kissed her softly. A gentle kiss that would make her have the sweetest dreams. She smiled into the kiss, her fingers moving through his silky copper locks.

"I love you," she smiled, pulling back slightly. His face was filled with happiness and contentment, his eyes twinkling and his lips turned up in a smile. She imagined that her face looked fairly similar and kissing him one more time, a soft peck on his lips.

"Mmm, I love you too baby, sweet dreams," she turned on her side, her back against his front and their legs entwined. He moved his arm around her to hold her hand and she entwined their fingers together. Moving as close as possible, Ana held back tears and Christian closed his eyes taking in the feel of her. That night was the best nights sleep they'd had for 5 long years.

* * *

A/N - In case anyone was wondering, the song was The script - For the first time. Until next time :)


	8. Chapter 8

**8) A wave goodbye?**

 _The next morning_

Anastasia Rose Steele was never one for sleeping in very late. She liked to wake up early so she didn't sleep the day away, but this morning, she'd happily stay in bed all day. She'd woken up disorientated; she felt heavy and hot and she wasn't sure why. That was until she felt a mans arm around her body and heard his soft snoring and realised that last night wasn't a dream. She smiled as she noticed that he was wrapped around her completely, encasing her in his warmth. His hand was still holding hers, his face touching the back of her neck and she could feel every inch of him pressed against her, including a particular part of his anatomy which seemed a little excited this morning. She giggled to herself and turned herself around in his arms to face him. He was still fast asleep, his breathing soft and even, stubble grazing his beautiful skin and his hair an unruly mess. She looked down at his chest, his scars were prominent but she loved them just like she loved every other inch of him. His body was a road map of abuse but she still thought he was the most beautiful creature to grace the planet. She brought her fingers to his lips, tracing them carefully with the tip of her finger. She leaned in and kissed his lips softly. She did it again and again until she felt him kiss her back, his hand going to her hair. He groaned against her, gently rolling himself on top of her.

"Good morning," he smiled, moving back a little and brushing the hair back from her face. She was stunning in the mornings. She didn't need any make up. She never had; all she needed was a smile on her face.

"Good morning to you too," she giggled. She could feel _him_ against her thigh and felt herself getting hot at the thought of them in the throes of passion. She could vividly remember the slam of his hips into hers, the feel of his lips and teeth on her breasts, his hands tracing every inch of her body; telling her that he owned her, that she was his and only his. She could still taste him, still remember what he felt like inside her, hot, hard and huge stretching her.

"Are you ok?" he asked, noticing that she'd spaced out.

"Y.. yes, I just... I'm going to go for a shower," Ana stuttered, scrambling from underneath him and getting up from the warm bed they'd been lying in. Christian had to bite his tongue so he didn't groan. The thought of Ana in the shower, soaping herself up. She wondered if she touched herself in there as the hot water cascaded over her. He could almost hear her moans in his ear; his name, always his name. He'd woken up with a hand on and although he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, it was also taking every inch of will power in his body not to throw her down and take her on the bed. Remind her exactly who she belonged to; who could make her scream like a banshee and come like a train. _Mine_.

"Ok baby, do you mind if I go and root through your fridge?"

"There isn't much I'm afraid, honey. I tend to make my own dishes from what is available at the market, I'll come and make you some scrambled eggs after I've had a shower though?"

"Ok," he grinned. He leaned down and kissed her. A kiss that made him grow even harder and made her breathless. She went to the shower, wanting to drag him in with her but not having the confidence to do so whilst he got dressed, willing his erection to go down. He'd been thinking a lot about what would happen when he eventually left here. He wasn't stupid, he knew that the army would track him down, either that or his parents. He could call them and tell them to send a plane to fetch him; but he didn't want to. He didn't want to be 'rescued'. He wanted to stay here with Ana. He knew, of course, that eventually he would have to go home. He couldn't disappear off the edge of the earth forever. His family wouldn't rest until he was found safe. But, he couldn't leave Ana. It would kill him to leave her again. He wanted to convince Ana to leave with him and go back to America with him, but he had a feeling that it wouldn't be easy. She'd built a life here and had nothing in America except Kate who was still friends with her. He hoped that he would be enough of a reason for her to come with him. That a life with him was enough to convince her. He would promise her anything she wanted; babies, a home. There was only one thing that he didn't know if he could ever give her; marriage. Although he'd forgiven her for what happened 5 years ago, it still haunted him. He didn't think that he could ever make her his wife and that pained him. He was allowing fears based on the past affect his future choices and he couldn't help himself. The world 'marriage' sent his mind into a reflection of that day. His mother telling him she wasn't coming, that she didn't want to be his wife. His heart being ripped out of his chest and thrown onto the floor of the church. He hoped she would understand.

"Hey, you didn't get far did you?" Ana teased, watching him from where she was stood by the door of the sitting room. He smiled at her.

"I got down here and I realised that I can't actually cook," she giggled at him and walked past. He took her in, her soft brunette waves cascading, blue dress hugging her curves and her beautiful long legs showing. He tried not to salivate as he thought about her legs wrapped around his head whilst he devoured her. She was so fucking beautiful it made his heart ache.

"Ok handsome, well I guess I'll make you something then,"

"How about we go out?" she looked at his puzzled. "I can walk now, atleast I can limp, and I want to get some fresh air and explore." The truth was that he needed something to distract himself from bending her over the nearest piece of furniture and plunging himself deep inside her until she screamed his name. Spending the day in the house with her with nothing to do would be temptation. Too much temptation for him to handle. This woman was driving him to the point of insanity.

"Well, ok, I haven't been to many places to be honest,"

"Really, why?" he asked, intrigued.

"I didn't really need to, the only place I go to is the market, we could go there is you'd like?" he nodded and smiled. She wasn't completely telling the truth. There was a reason why she didn't go out much and that was that she felt unsafe. She always had. She knew no one here and didn't speak the language. The only person she went out with was Jose and that was only occasionally when he took her into town. She didn't like to go anywhere on her own. She'd heard stories, terrible stories, about women who'd gone out on their own and never come home again. She didn't have a car like she had in America so she had to go everywhere on foot. That made things difficult, however, going out with Christian didn't scare her. She knew he'd protect her. She knew that he would never let her get hurt. So with that in her mind, she clutched his arm and they left the house.

The area of Goa where she lived wasn't rich. There were beggars on the street, people walking around in scraps of clothing offering home made scarves and jewellery in return for money. The streets were paved with dust and dirt, littered with paper and wrappers. She clutched to Christian a little tighter and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Are you ok?" he asked with concern evident in his voice. She nodded against him, huddling close.

"Yeah," she never went this way if she was going to the market, she usually went down the beach and then up a small path. It took a lot longer but it was safer. Christian kept his arm around her shoulders as they walked through the streets. People looked at them strangely; they must have looked an odd pair in amongst the locals. Two Americans wearing dull coloured clothes amongst the locals wearing brightly coloured dresses. They went exploring for a little while. Ana showed Christian the market and where she specifically liked to shop. They then went to sit by the sea and watch people going about their day whilst cuddling close to each other and talking. When they saw the clouds roll in over head and turn dark, they got up to leave.

"I don't know how you can stand it Ana," he said as they walked along the beach after a day of exploring. Their hands were clasped together and she was leant against his shoulder as they walked. He was no longer hobbling, after being on his feet all day he was getting used to walking again.

"How I stand what?" she asked.

"We walked around that whole market and I didn't see any chocolate or fast food." She giggled at him.

"Why would you expect to find any?" she asked.

"I didn't, but I realised when I got there that you can't have had a McDonalds or a bar of chocolate in years," she laughed.

"No, I haven't,"

"Don't you miss it?" Ana sighed.

"I have missed a lot of things, I missed you the most and you're here now, but I agree with you, I would kill for some chicken nuggets and an ice cold can of coke some days," Christian snickered.

"There's the Ana Steele I know and love," she rolled her eyes and he winked at her. They were half way down the beach just as the first few spots of rain fell from the sky. They ran the rest of the way, laughing and getting soaked in the process. She opened the door and locked it behind them. The lights were off and the dark clouds created a serene atmosphere. All that could be heard was the patter of rain on the roof and windows and the sounds of heavy breathing from the pair as they tried to catch their breath. The crackle of thunder ripped through the sky and a bite of lightening crackled across Christian's face showing eyes as black as night staring directly at her. He looked like he was about to devour her, his eyes glued to where her clothes stuck to her skin and her hair clung to her face. He'd managed to push his wayward thoughts from his head during the day but they'd come back full force as he stared at her. The things he wanted to do to her flashed through his mind; her moans as he pushed inside of her, bringing her to the bring of insanity until all she knew was him and his voice. He wanted to tear her clothes from her slick body and take her on the floor. He wanted to make her scream so loud that the windows would shatter. His erection threatened to burst through his pants and his fists were clenched at his side to stop him from doing anything that Ana may not want him to. He didn't think he could move at this moment, his jaw clenched, teeth grinding together as he tried to control his desires. She couldn't stop looking at him. She knew that look, she'd know it anywhere. He was turned on, and she found herself locked into his gaze, panting along with him.

"Christian," she breathed, her voice a hoarse whisper. And that was all it took. He slammed her into the wall with surprising force and smashed their lips together in a powerful, toe curling kiss. Tongues tangled, heavy breathing and hands roaming as he pushed his hips into hers. She could feel his hard erection against her thigh and groaned at the sensation. It wasn't long before clothes became a hindrance. Ana took the lead, toeing off her shoes, never breaking her lips from Christian's and tore at his shirt, the buttons pinging off the walls and bouncing around the floor, the sound so loud that it startled them for a moment. They broke apart and both looked down at his torn shirt.

"I'm sorry," Ana panted, blushing his favourite shade of red and smiling at him embarrassed at her actions. He didn't give her a moment to over think or re- think her decisions. Instead he pulled her back into another simmering kiss, pulled her leg around his waist. She groaned as she felt his erection; thick and hard rubbing against panties and him dragging his lips down her neck. She tasted just as he remembered, she felt just like he remembered and in that moment, he was transported back to their first time; how she'd melted into him straight away. He'd expected her to be nervous but she was just as desperate with need as he had been. Everything was so familiar and yet so new and exciting. He moved his hands to the back of her dress, still sucking on her neck as she groaned and pulled his hair in pleasure, moving the zip downwards slowly, touching the uncovered skin with feather like composition. She arched her back into the light touch, every nerve in her body in tune with his exploring fingers. Hers raked over the skin of his chest and stomach, touching and caressing as much of his warm skin as she could; tracing the lines which she'd sewn together after he'd nearly been torn apart. With careful precision, he pulled the zip of her dress down to the bottom of her lips, his hands dipping into the open back and laying flat against her soft skin causing goose bumps to erupt all over her body. She felt like lava was running through her veins.

"This dress is so beautiful," he growled in her ear, his voice husky and low. "But it's in the way of what I desire,"

She clutched at him in response, peppering kisses all over his face; his jawline, his eyelids, his cheeks, his forehead and his nose until she reached his ear. She stroked his face and took his lobe between her teeth, biting softly and licking over the area to sooth it.

"Take it off," she breathed and he felt a surge of lust run through him. He pulled her dress from her body and allowed it to slide down her curves and shapely legs to hit the wooden floor. He took in her body as though it was the first time he'd seen it. His eyes moved up and down her frame, taking in every inch as though it would be the last time he would ever do so. So much had happened, so many things had caused rifts between them, but despite that here they were; leaning against a wall, kissing and undressing each other like their life depended on it. He wanted to taste her; wanted to drink her in and bury his tongue in her sweet nectar but his cock was for release and he didn't think he could last. She moved her hands to the collar of his shirt and pulled it off his shoulders. He removed it whilst she grabbed for his belt. He closed his eyes and tried to keep him breathing even. He felt like he was ready to explode at any moment. She battled with his belt buckle and then unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers, allowing them to drop to his knees. He moved his fingers inside the saturated material of her panties and she moaned his name loudly as he touched her wet core, his fingers making patterns across her flesh.

"Christian, please," her voice was hoarse, she felt light headed and leant her head against his shoulder as he rubbed her. He was the master and she was his puppet, convulsing as he touched her in the way that only he could. Her mind flashed back to the first time he'd ever done this. When they'd been sat on his bed on her fifteenth birthday and he told her he had one last thing for her. The pleasure had been mind numbing but today, she could barely breath it was so intense. She felt herself building but she didn't want to come like this. She wanted _him_ inside her, she'd dreamt of this for so long. To feel close to him; so close that they were one flesh, so close that she could feel him all around her and deep inside her. They were delirious, addicted to each others taste and smell. He continued to touch her as she moved her hands slowly down his chest and torso, tracing his muscles with the tip of her finger before she reached the band of his underwear. She moved her hand inside and grasped him, squeezing tightly.

"Ana," he groaned, hissing as she rubbed the skin of his penis with her dainty hands. His size never ceased to amaze her and she could feel just how aroused he was becoming as his hard cock throbbed in her hand.

"I need you, please Christian," without another word Christian removed his fingers from her panties, bringing them to his mouth and sucking on them. Her breath hitched and she felt a pool of moisture flood to her already soaking core.

"mmm, so delicious," he licked his lips, pulling her panties down her legs and pulling himself free from his boxer shorts. He hoisted her into his arms, the pain in his leg only a dull ache compared to the pain of not being buried inside her. The pain was nothing compared to the feel of her. He'd walk through broken glass; run through the gates of hell to feel this woman in his arms, hanging onto him as though he was her harbour in a storm.

"You ready baby?" she nodded against him , closing her eyes and leaning her forehead against him. The electricity between them was palpable. The longing and relief, the heat crackling between them. The rain outside was long forgotten. She pushed a hand through his hand and touched his lip softly with the tip of her finger.

"I love you, please Christian, please, I can't wait any more," she moaned, the ache at the apex of her legs dripped for him, soaked in her need. She gasped as he pushed into her, the tightness and stretch was almost unbearable after not having sex with him for so long. She'd forgotten how much he stretched her and how full he made her feel. Her finger nails dug into his shoulder, squeezing her legs tightly around his hips and she hissed, screwing her eyes up in pain.

"Are you ok?" he asked, stilling inside her and stroking a hand down her cheek.

"I'm ok, don't stop," the pain faded into a feeling of overwhelming fullness and unbelievable pleasure. How did she live without this? she felt her eyes filling with tears as she felt Christian's love surrounding her. This was where she wanted to be; this was what she'd dreamt of for 5 long years and now, she finally had it. The struggle had lead them to this moment; he was with her again; heart, body and soul and she couldn't be happier.

"Please don't cry Ana," he whispered into her ear, brushing away her tears.

"I love you, move Christian, please," he moved out of her slowly before thrusting back in, gentle at first until she willed him to pick up the pace. It was so deep and she was so warm. Nothing could compare to Ana. No other woman he'd been with could compare to his angel. She was moaning his name, scratching his already marked skin, screaming out when he touched a particularly sensitive spot. His name was a mantra on her lips and the love he felt for his little lady overwhelmed him. He'd spent so long trying to forget her but his mind replayed what his heart couldn't let go of. He couldn't change the past, he couldn't forget the darkness that had once been in his mind. But he could change the future and forgive her for causing the darkness. He could keep the wounds open, keep on hurting, or he could forgive her and start to heal. He'd done the latter and now, he felt like he was whole again. Every piece of him that had been broken was stitched together by her words and touch; his wandering mind and wayward thoughts had been transformed from dark and angry to full of love. And as she screamed out his name, falling over the cliff and holding him like her life raft as she rode the waves of unbearable pleasure, he felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders. All those years of hatred and anger vanished into thin air. All those years of feeling inadequate, wondering what could have been and why it would never be dissolved and he came with her, breathing her name and slumping forward to touch the wall, making sure that this wasn't all a dream. She was panting against his sweaty skin, her fingers stroking though his hair and down his shoulder blades. He leaned his head back after a few moments to look at her. She was smiling but tears were running down her cheeks. She looked so beautiful, he'd never seen anything quite like her right now and it knocked him how vulnerable she was. For years he thought that he was weak for not being able to let go of his feelings but she'd had it so much worse. She'd hurt the man she loved and had been crushed by guilt for 5 long years. She'd tried to runaway but realised that you can't runaway from your heart. They may just be 2 lost souls but to each other, this was everything.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, his thumb carefully brushing away the drops of emotion that coated her face.

"I've never been better," she smiled at watery smile, leaning close to kiss him.

"I love you Ana," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you too," she brushed a hand down his face, "do you want to do that again in bed?" she whispered giggling when he bit gently on her fingers when they brushed his lips.

"I'd love to,"

* * *

Ana woke up feeling deliciously sore and achy. They'd been on each other non stop until around 3am when they'd fallen asleep after a steamy shower. She'd lost count of how many times she'd come, lost track of how many times they'd confessed their love for each other, how many times he'd pushed his thick cock inside her stretching her walls and making her lose her mind. She closed her eyes and remembered his body on top of hers, his hips thrusting into her as he whispered words of adoration in her ear. She prickled remembering his lips and tongue between her legs, taking her to heaven and she smiled remembering how he moaned and writhed around of the bed as she pleasured him with her mouth and tongue. She tried to move but her legs were too stiff. She remembered falling asleep with Christian all over her; his hands clutching her breasts which he'd spent hours kissing and touching, his legs entwined with hers and his face buried in her shoulder. She reached over to touch him but all she felt was cool sheets. He'd obviously been up a while. She looked at the clock at the side of her bed and noticed that it was nearly midday. She'd never slept in this late in her life but after the night she'd had, who could blame her? she slowly sat up and climbed out of bed, wincing when she took her first through steps. She walked into the bathroom and gasped at her reflection; her hair was a complete mess from Christian's fingers roaming through it all night. Her lips were swollen, her eyes were puffy and her skin was flushed. The main thing that shocked her though was the amount of hickey's all over her body. Christian had repeatedly told her she was his last night almost as though he was trying to convince himself. He'd marked her, every inch of her body and his lips had created red marks all over her neck, chest and inner thighs. She couldn't be angry though; she loved the fact that he'd marked her as his. She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she thought of what happened last night. She washed her face, put her hair up in a bun and threw on one of his big shirts that she'd stolen from him all those years ago. She skipped downstairs looking for him but stopped in her tracks when she saw him. He was sat on the couch, reading something on paper with a frown on his face. Something told her that it was bad news.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly. His head shot to her as though he hadn't heard her come in to the room.

"Morning baby," he smiled sadly, holding his arm out. She scurried over to him and climbed into his lap, wrapping herself around him.

"Morning," she mumbled into his bare shoulder, "What's the matter?"

"This came this morning through the door," he held up the letter, "It's a telegram from the head of my army section giving me a formal discharge under honourable conditions for my services in the army. They'd captured the men who got me and were able to track me using the location device on my uniform. The men who got me were high up in the enemy fotress and the allies were able to torture them to give out valuable information. At first they couldn't track me because my uniform was waterlogged but now they can. It says that they don't know my condition but my father is sending a plane to come and get me in 3 days, my discharge is probably somewhat down to him, he knows people who are high up and never liked me being a soldier anyway, he said it was far too dangerous," he said softly. Ana felt her eyes fill with tears. She had him; she'd only just gotten him back and now she was going to lose him again?

"Don't cry sweetheart," he whispered as she clung to him. His heart was pounding in his chest. He wanted to ask her the question but his throat went dry. Did her tears mean there was no hope for them? that she wouldn't leave and she'd watch him step on the plane and wave goodbye to him? could she really watch him leave? he had to ask, he couldn't stay but he also couldn't leave without her.

"Ana, I have something I want to talk to you about," he said softly, she pulled back from him and he smiled her softly. Her eyes were so blue when she'd been crying. They were his favourite colour. Those eyes haunted his dreams and could see right into his soul. She watched him, waiting for him to say something... anything.

"I... I have to go back Ana. My family won't rest until I'm home in America safe and sound. But... I've been thinking a lot over the last few days, wondering how I could ask you this and coming up with a million different conclusions in my mind. Bottom line is, I can't leave here without you Ana. You've healed me in more ways than one and I can't say goodbye to you again now. I can't offer you much, but I can offer you a life with me, I can offer to love you for as long as you'll let me," he looked away from her and down at his hands. She grabbed his face in her hands and pulled his lips to hers, kissing him thoroughly; trying to convey her devotion to him. Christian moaned into her mouth wondering if this was one of elation or a goodbye kiss. He prayed that it was the first but his mind was telling him it was the latter. She'd built a life for herself here, she couldn't just up and leave. He'd definitely visit her at least once a month and maybe one day he could move here. They could do long distance maybe? She broke the kiss and smiled at him, a wide, excited smile full of love and he found himself returning it.

"You don't have to offer me anything Christian, a life with you is the greatest gift you could ever give me. I couldn't say goodbye to you, of course I will come home with you," his eyes went wide and he suddenly grabbed her tightly and pulled her into his arms.

"You will?" he asked excitedly, his arms holding her tightly.

"Yes, of course I will. Christian, if you told me to pack all of my things into a cardboard box right now then I'd leave with you and travel to god knows where not questions asked. I'd go and I'd be happy just to get to be with you, I wouldn't care where we were as long as you were there too. I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I'll probably get crucified by your family but I love you and I'd do anything for you," she said.

"I wouldn't let them do anything to you Ana, I've forgiven you and I'm sure they will too,"

"I doubt it Christian, I hurt you and therefor I'm enemy number one. You're family was always more of a family to me than my own. Mia was the sister I never had, Elliot the brother I never had and your mother was closer to me than my own. That was one of the hardest things, I not only lost you that day but also your family, my support system. I've always wanted to rekindle some kind of relationship with them and I will work tirelessly to prove that I'm worthy of another chance, that I'm worthy of you,"

"My family still love you Ana, they will forgive you. I'm so happy you're staying with me,"

"As if I could be without you now, Christian Grey," Ana smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "There's so much to do though! 3 days?! I have so much I need to handle before we..."

"Baby, Ana, calm down sweetheart," Christian grabbed her before she could leave his lap. "The only thing you need to do right now is lie back and open your legs for me," she looked at him with her eyebrows raised.

"I'm sore Christian Grey, very, very sore and achy from you loving me all night long," he smile a beaming smile of pride. "And covered in hickeys," she said, pulling pointing to the red marks all over her neck.

"I'll be gentle baby and I'll keep my pants on, I promise," he smiled. She looked at him sceptically but she wasn't about to turn down his delicious tongue. She lay back on the sofa and opened her legs for him.

"Oh Anastasia, no panties on, I like that," he growled, his fingers spreading her legs a little further so that he could look at her. He moved his face closer and kissed her inner thigh softly. Her breath hitched and she moved one hand to cover her own breast, the other travelling down to touch his head.

"Do you know how it makes me feel, to know that I'm the only man who has ever touched you here? smelt your intoxicating scent? do you know how much pride and pleasure it gives me to know that I'm the only person who has every been inside you? to know I'm the only man who has ever seen you when you come? to know that I'm the only man whose name you have screamed out in pleasure?" he stroked one finger down her already saturated sex.

"Christian," she moaned, her fingers roving through his hair.

"That's right baby, mine, all mine,"

"Yours," she delighted in his possessiveness. He'd always been possessive of her and to see that some things hadn't changed at all gave her a sense of calm. She loved his possessiveness, she loved being claimed by him. She was proud to call him hers and proud that she was his and he felt the same. His finger traced the 'CTG' that adorned her body. That scribble on her skin that marked her for life and showed that he would always been with her. Nothing turned him on like seeing those letters on her skin. He kissed the area before moving back to the wet heat between her legs.

"Tell me you love me Anastasia," he kissed her tender flesh, nudging her clit with his nose as he looked at her from between her legs.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she repeated like a chorus. He growled and dived straight in, licking and sucking her like a starving man. She was so sweet, her taste like the finest wine and he couldn't get enough. She was panting; convulsing, pulling his hair in unadulterated pleasure. He was magic, that was the conclusion she had come to. She had no one to compare him to but she knew that nobody could love her like Christian could. He moaned against her, his stubble burning across her sensitive skin and she lost control falling into an abyss of pleasure with a scream of his name. He continued to lick her as she rode out her orgasm and then pulled back to look at her, flopped against the couch like a wet sock and panting heavily.

"Now, we can do anything you need to do," he said sitting up. She looked at him, her eyes glazed, still coming down from her high.

"I... I need to... go and see Jose... need to decide ... what to do with the farm... need to check your stitches," Christian nodded.

"Ok baby, what first?"

"Stitches first, then Jose, then farm," he nodded and sat back down.

Ana had been able to take out Christian's stitches, the wounds after having over 2 weeks to heal were now no more than a mark on his skin, battle scars. She kissed them all lightly, caressing and loving each scar that marred his beautiful skin. He was glad to have them out having missed the mobility. It wasn't like he wasn't able to do anything with them in, last night proved that, but they were quite restrictive and since he wasn't in pain anymore and the stitches had done their job in bridging the gaps in his war weary body, they were no longer of use. Christian had told Ana that he'd come and speak to Jose with her but she needed to do this alone. She knew that Jose would be upset. He'd made it pretty clear that he felt a lot for her even if she didn't feel the same. She wanted to tell him the news herself and she needed to thank him for how kind he had been over the last few years. He'd made her life without Christian bearable. He'd made living in a foreign place bearable. He'd helped her to bring in money and he'd been a good friend. She needed to make sure he knew all of that and also, she needed to see if he'd take the other half of the farm off her. She didn't want money for it, she just wanted to make sure that Jose was ok with the extra workload.

She walked over to his house; It was only a street away from her own on the left, and knocked on the door. After a few moments he answered it and smiled immediately when he saw her.

"Ana! hello! I was coming to see you later, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hi Jose, I was wondering if we could have a talk?"

"Of course, come in," Jose said, his eyes a little confused but his smile still firmly in place. She walked into his house with him and he led her into his sitting room. She'd been in here a dozen times, drinking and laughing with Jose and it did make her sad to think that she wouldn't see him again, even if her reward was Christian.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked, sitting beside her on his sofa.

"No thank you Jose," she smiled.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked. She sighed and looked at her hands, playing with her fingers.

"There's no easy way to say this Jose, so I'm just going to come right out with it, I'm leaving here," there was a moment's silence and when Ana looked up, Jose's face had fallen and his mouth was gaping open as he stared at her.

"You can't leave Ana, please don't leave," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry Jose, I'm heading back to America with Christian,"

"But the farm, your life here, I need you here Ana, please stay," he grabbed her hand, sitting close to her.

"I'm sorry Jose,"

"Is it Christian? Is he making you leave?" Jose asked with distain present in his voice.

"No, he's not making me do anything, I want to go back with him,"

"Why?" Ana sighed.

"Christian's everything to me Jose and I love him, I made some horrible mistakes in my past but he still loves me and I can't lose him again,"

"Can I do anything to make you stay?"

"Jose I'm sorry," she turned to face him and smiled at him softly, squeezing his hand, "I want to thank you Jose. You have no idea how much I value our friendship, you've been brilliant and I can't thank you enough. I also want to give you my half of the farm," Ana watched as a stray tear fell down Jose's cheek and she felt awful.

"Please don't cry Jose,"

"I love you Ana, I've always loved you," he said softly. Ana bowed her head.

"I'm sorry Jose, you mean a great deal to me as a friend but there will only be one man I'll ever love. You're a great man Jose and one day, you'll find a girl who will fall head over heals in love with you because you deserve it,"

"Will you atleast stay in touch?"

"Of course I will," she smiled. They both stood up and she leaned in to hug him. He held her tightly, not wanting to let her go.

"I hope he realises just how lucky he is," Jose said. "You're one of a kind Ana,"

"Thank you Jose, I'll miss you," Ana said, her eyes filling with tears at the heartfelt goodbye to her closest friend here.

"I'll miss you too,"

After one last squeeze he let go of her and they walked to the front of the house.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"Friday,"

"I'll take over the farm, just please stay in touch,"

"Of course I will," she smiled. "I promise, thank you Jose," he nodded and watched her leave his house with a heavy heart. He should have told her how he felt sooner. At least then there would be no _Christian_ to affect her feelings. He'd miss her more than anything and it hurt to watch her go. He walked back inside and sighed, what would he do here without Ana?

Ana walked back to her house and opened the door. She saw Christian sitting on the sofa with a soft smile on his face.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," her voice was hoarse and he noticed she'd been crying. He opened her arms and she flew to him, burying her head in his shoulder, her safe place. She was sad to leave Jose of course, he'd been her constant for the past few years.

"It's ok baby," Christian brushed his large, warm hand up and down her back, playing with the strands of silky hair which had come free from her bun.

"I guess I'm just going to miss him," she whispered into his shoulder, "he's been a good friend to me," Christian nodded. He felt a little jealous but he knew that Jose wasn't a threat. He'd helped him out twice and he knew that Ana didn't feel anything for him apart from friendship. He held her close and allowed her to cry.

"I know sweetheart, I know," he mumbled, kissing her hair. She lifted her head from his shoulder and he held her face between his hands, kissing away the tears. She looked so beautiful and her eyes were so blue.

"I love you Ana, I'm sorry you have to lose your friend," she smiled softly.

"I love you too," she lay her head back against his shoulder and cuddled close to him as he lay them back on the couch, grabbing the throw he had used as a duvet when he first came to the house and was sleeping on the sofa and pulled it over them.

"What's next?" she asked him.

"Nothing for now baby, just lay with me for a minute," she nodded her head against his chest and closed her eyes, breathing in his comforting scent. Nothing else mattered, she could survive anything as long as she was in his arms. With him, she felt safe and sound, there's no better feeling than being loved and when she was so close to him, she could almost hear his heart beating only for her. No words could full describe the level of feelings she had for him. She could lose anything and everything as long as she still had him by her side, holding her up and leading her through the bad times. He was her world; her moon and stars and she knew that she was his. With that in her mind she was strong; she could fight through anything and win because of the strength he gave her.

After a short nap, she started to decide what she was going to take back with her. Christian had asked to help her so she'd agreed and he was unloading her stuff asking if she wanted to take it back with them or not. Some things she decided that she was going to donate to some of the poorer women. Some of her brightly coloured sundresses and her hats that she'd bought over the years could be given to other people. Ana was rooting through her cupboards when she heard Christian shout for her. She walked to where he was sat, on the floor by the bottom drawer of her dresser and immediately knew what he'd found.

"I like this picture," he said, smiling as he stroked the frame, "I'm glad you kept it," she sat down beside him and leaned against his shoulder, looking at the photo he was holding. It was of the two of them around 6 months after they first got together. They were at a family party at the Grey's house and in the photo she was stood in front of him, his arms around her waist and hers hands on top of his. They were both gazing at each other, they eyes connected and the happiness radiated through the frame.

"So am I," she whispered, "I have others," she reached into the drawer and pulled out her 'memory box'. It was a collection of memories of the two of them that they had created over the years. He took the box from her and opened the lid gasping when he looked inside.

"Our first concert!" he grinned, holding up the tickets excitedly. "What else have we got here? the corsage I gave you at prom, a photo album... is that... is that your engagement ring?" he asked, digging into the box and pulling out the beautiful ring he'd given her so long ago. It didn't look warn at all, the silver polished and the diamond still perfectly intact. He'd spent so much on this ring, it was one of his biggest investments.

"Yes," her voice was soft and anxious. He was quiet for a moment before putting everything that he'd taken out back into the box.

"I'm glad you kept all of these things baby, and I hope we can create lots of new memories together," he said with a small smile, taking her hand in his and squeezing it.

"Me too Christian,"

"Now, let's get you packed up,"


	9. Chapter 9

**9) Escaping paradise**

Ana had barely slept on the night before they were leaving. She wanted to go with Christian; of course she did, he was everything to her. But she was also terrified. There were a few reasons why she was so scared about going back to America; the fact she hadn't been there for so long and that she was leaving her home of the last 5 years but her main worry was about the reaction that Christian's family would have to seeing her again.

The look of disgust on Mia's face as she walked past her on their wedding day, the look of disappointment on Grace Grey's face when Ana pleaded with her to tell her where her sons was. The look of hatred on Elliot Grey's face as she stood in the church after doing the unthinkable to the man she loved. Those images swirled around in her mind like a deadly potions and she was scared of what the future would bring.

She turned to look at the handsome man next to her. He was an Adonis, his muscular body on display for her greedy eyes. She saw the scars that marred his chest and desperately wanted to kiss them but she didn't want to wake him. She always thought that by kissing them, she could help to ease his pain a little. She'd once felt sad whenever she looked upon his scars, but Christian had told her that his scars were a reminder that he was stronger than everything that had tried to hurt him. The skin and bone had healed itself and left behind a myriad of stories that decorated his body like tattoos. She looked down and saw her name etched on his hip, marking him and claiming him as her own. He was hers and she'd do anything for him, even if she was scared of what may happen when she had to face her fears. As long as she was with this man, she would be happy. She was so lost in her musing that she hadn't felt Christian stir behind her until he started to kiss her neck, breaking her from her thoughts, and nibbling on her ear lobe, his warm breath sending electricity pulsing through her veins.

"What's wrong baby?" his voice was like honey; so husky with sleep. He was so hot; how did she ever manage to snag this man? more that that, how did she ever let him go?

"Nothing honey," she smiled as he crawled on top of her, nuzzling her breasts.

"Tell me,"

"It's nothing," she breathed, closing her eyes and gripping his shoulders when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. He marked her as his own, leaving a love bite on her collar bone.

"You're not regretting your decision to leave with me are you?" he asked, stilling for a moment to look at her with worried grey eyes. She immediately jumped to reassure him.

"No! no never, please don't think that Christian," she said, taking his hand in hers.

"Then what is it? tell me Anastasia," he growled, nipping at her neck like he loved to do. _Mine._

"I'm just..." he moved back to look at her, his eyes dark and his hands holding hers to the bed. She looked into eyes and saw all of the love that he felt for her and it made her feel like crying.

"I'm scared Christian, I'm scared about going back," she whispered.

"Why are you scared? I won't let anything happen to you, ever." he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I know you'll protect me baby, it's just... I'm scared about seeing your family again. I love you so much but they won't see that. I loved your family and I guess I'm only just realising now how much I hurt all of them as well as you. Mia was like a little sister to me, Elliot was an annoying big brother to me, your mother was like my second mother, she was more caring to me than my own mother, Carrick always treated me like a Grey, welcoming me into the family straight away. I don't think I can go in there and see the look of hatred that I saw on ... our wedding day. It would kill me. I'd do anything for you Christian Grey," she said, stroking his cheek as a tear rolled down her cheek, "anything at all, I will face your family again, I will try to make up for what I did, try to make them understand, but I'm still scared." she whispered.

"It's ok to be scared Ana, but I'll be right there with you. My family loved you as though you were their own and it may take time to get back to that place, but I'm sure that we will be able to. I love you Ana, and you're not leaving my side again. I wouldn't survive you leaving me again."

"I won't ever leave you Christian, I'm yours, heart, body and soul," she smiled, "atleast Kate will be happy to see me,"

"Ahh yes, her and Elliot have been on and off for the past 5 years, they were off last time I left but I'm sure they've rekindled the romance," Ana giggled, feeling Christian move her legs further apart and start laying kisses down her body.

"Relax now baby, let me take care of you," he whispered sending shivers down her spine. Her hands moved to his hair, grabbing on for dear life as he buried his face between her legs, kissing and licking her until she could think of nothing but pleasure.

After another round in bed and one in the shower, the couple got dressed for the day. Ana had dressed and packed her things together and was sat on her bed whilst Christian pulled on his clothes.

"What are you going to do about the house?" he asked.

"I don't know, it's bought and paid for, Ray bought it for me outright so I don't owe anything, I guess I'll give it to Jose, maybe he can make it into a guest house or something?" she said, watching him hungrily as he pulled on his trousers.

"Where is Ray?"

"He's in South Africa at the moment helping at an orphanage, I haven't told him about you yet, I haven't spoke to him since you came but he'll be so happy to hear that we're together again. He loved you like a son. I tried to call him a few nights ago but it didn't connect, I'll have to let him know when we're back that I've moved back to America," Christian nodded.

"We'll go and see him soon, maybe that can be our first vacation together?" Ana smiled and got up from the bed to hug him.

"I'd love that, he'll be so happy to see us," she grinned up at him and kissed his lips softly, hugging him around the waist.

"Okay my little lady, we'll add that to our 'to do' list, but first, we have to leave this place," Ana nodded against his chest and sighed.

"I will kind of miss it, I got used to working on the farm and having the beach right on my doorstep,"

"It's a beautiful place," Christian agreed, massaging her shoulders with his thumbs as they stood.

"But I also can't wait to go back home and see what's changed. When is the last time you went home?" Christian kissed her soft hair and rested his chin against the top of her head.

"7 months ago, that was when my last leave was, I only got 2 weeks so I kind of just stayed at my parents house and spent time with them," Ana nodded against his chest.

"I never imagined you going into the army and doing something so dangerous, what are you going to do now that you've been honourably discharged?"

"My dad always wanted me to go into business. He said he'd give me a loan a few years back but I was stuck with my contract in the army and I wanted to continue to fight. I might take up his offer up now, I think going into business might be a good opportunity,"

"You're so smart Christian, you'll be an amazing business man, and a very sexy one at that," he chucked and kissed her head once more.

"Nice to know you approve my love," she giggled, "right, let me pull on a shirt and then we'll start taking your things downstairs."

He went to the drawer that housed Jose's clothed. Christian had managed to stretch every single pair of pants and every single shirt. He was leaving them here but he had to wear something to go back in and it couldn't be his army uniform with holes everywhere from where bullets had ripped through it. He helped Ana take the few things she was taking with her downstairs. There really wasn't much, 2 bags and that was it. She just brought a few dresses, her memory and jewellery box, some of his T-shirts and photographs. She didn't need anything else. Kate had all the things she'd left behind in her garage so she could go back and get them and maybe get some new things when she got back to America. She still wasn't sure what to expect when she got home. She didn't know where they would live. She wondered where Christian lived now, surely he'd sold their old place. Their first house that they'd bought together had been her favourite place in the world. Both of them had worked so hard to buy them that house and it was perfect for them. It had 4 bedroom so they could make one into a nursery for a child and it had a beautiful garden where she'd grown her favourite flowers and even started planting her own vegetables to make dishes of a weekend. At that point in time, Christian had been working 6 days a week selling and she'd been working 5 days full time. It was tough but worth it because they had each other.

Christian spent the morning inquiring into getting a taxi to take them to Goa airport whilst Ana went to speak to Jose regarding the house. He liked her idea and gave her $3000 out of his mothers fund which he'd been given after she died and had been saving for a rainy day for the farm and the house. She headed back after saying one final goodbye to Jose and then they were off. Ana was surprised to see the vast difference between the poorest areas of the state which she'd witnessed and the rich and nourished areas which had been hidden from her sight. The airport itself was extravagant. Christian's father had sent a private jet to pick him up and it was waiting at the airport when they arrived. After giving in his name, they were directed out into the airfield and boarded onto the luxurious jet before taking off.

"Imagine your father's face when he finds out he didn't only pick you up but me as well," Ana said, sitting across from Christian on a cream leather seat. He smirked and stretched out.

"He'll be surprised but he'll get over it. Like I was ever going to leave you," Christian smiled.

A stewardess came out, batting her eyelids at Christian and pursing her lips.

"Hello Mr Grey, can I get _you_ anything?" she asked, coming as close as possible. Her perfume was so strong that he almost choked on the air.

"I'm fine thank you, do you need anything baby?" he directed at Ana much to the stewardess's dismay.

"No thank you," Ana said, eying the stewardess with a smug smile on her lips.

"Just call if you need anything, _Mr Grey_ ," the stewardess said, batting her eyelids once more in Christian's direction before leaving.

"Did you see that? could she have made it any more obvious that she wanted your dick?" Ana asked, disgusted.

"Someone's jealous," Christian smirked in a sing-song tone.

"You're mine Christian Grey,"

"All yours, now Miss Steele, it's been a long time since we joined the mile high club, care for a little airborne exertion?"

"Christian, we are not having sex on this jet with little Miss eyelids just behind that curtain," Ana said in faux exasperation.

"Well, at least come over here baby, I'm feeling bereft," Ana giggled and climbed into his lap, wrapping her arms around him. She cuddled close and he stroked over her thigh under her sundress.

"I'm sorry for being jealous," Ana whispered after a few moments.

"What? why are you sorry?" Christian asked with a chuckle, "Ana, I love that you're jealous. I get jealous 20 times a day, I constantly want to prove to myself that you're mine. I know I'm a possessive man and I need to claim you constantly. That woman was out of order and trying to trample on your territory, not that I would do _anything,_ ever, you never have to worry about that baby, but it's perfectly normal to be jealous," Ana nodded. Christian was the most possessive man she'd ever known. Kate used to say it was suffocating but she liked it. She was proud to be his and she loved how he claimed her. His jealousy was hot. If they went to a club when they were younger and a man came up to Ana, or course she'd immediately rebuff him, but Christian always went over to the man afterwards and said something, even hitting one man, before dragging her off somewhere for some very hot, sweaty, sex. His jealousy was hot.

After a long flight they climbed out of the jet and Ana took in the scenery of Seattle international airport. She remembered standing in this exact spot before she left for Goa. She cried as she looked back that day remembering everything she'd lost and that she was going to a new place with nothing and no one. Now, she felt ecstatic. She was here with Christian. His hand was holding hers, his body was close by and he was talking to her as she took in the beauty of familiarity.

"It's been a long time since you've been here hasn't it, sweetheart," Christian said, squeezing her hand as they walked into the airport.

"It has, a very long time, it's so familiar," Christian chuckled.

"Seattle doesn't change baby, that's one thing we can always count on," Christian said. They headed inside and were met by a member of airport staff.

"Sir, your car is waiting in the parking lot, here are the keys,"

"Thank you," Christian smiled taking the keys.

"Fancy," Ana smirked as they walked through the parking lot hand in hand and he pointed the keys at a shiny silver Mercedes, a birthday present from his parents.

"Only the best for you baby," Christian smirked, holding open the passenger door for her to get into the car. He slid gracefully into the front after making sure that the luggage had been placed in the back of the car and left the carpark. Christian struggled at first after not driving a car in so long and the engine kept jolting making Ana laugh.

"Maybe we should have just got a cab?" Ana said. Christian chuckled.

"I'm getting the hang of it now, baby," they weaved through the streets and Ana looked around in awe at her surroundings. Everything had changed from how she remembered it but was so familiar all the same. The life she once lead came flooding back to her. They passed the coffee shop where her and Christian used to walk to when they met for lunch during the working day. The passed the supermarket she used to visit of a weekend. They passed the hairdressers she used to go to. They were talking and laughing with each other; Christian enjoyed Ana pointed out all the old spots they used to visit. It was nice to see her so excited to be back. He'd been a little worried that she might miss her life in Goa and want to go back but the smile on her face coupled with the love in her eyes told him everything he needed to know.

Her hand was in his on his lap and every so often he'd lifting it to his lips and lay kisses all over her skin. Then, they turned down a street that made them both go quiet. You could hear a pin drop in the car as the atmosphere tensed. Ana gulped as she saw a procession outside the church where they should have gotten their happily ever after. She chanced a look at Christian whose jaw was tight. He was staring at the road ahead, wanting to go faster and leave this street but not being able to due to the traffic lights in front of them. He hadn't looked at the church. He didn't want to. He'd had to travel down this route a hundred times since that day 5 years ago and not once had he ever looked at the church. Ana wanted to say something, she wanted to break the tension but she had no idea what to say. She felt cold in the warm car and a shiver ran down her spine as she contemplated what could have been. With all her heart, she wished that the church held happy memories for them. But it didn't and that was something she had to accept. She looked back over at Christian who was clutching the wheel tightly with both hands, his knuckles turning white. She decided on saying something simple and hoping that the lights would change in a moment so they could leave this memory.

"I love you Christian, so much," she whispered, her heart pounding in her chest. He turned to look at her for a moment and she could see the hurt swimming in his eyes. He gave her a forced smile and nodded.

"I know," he whispered, before turning his eyes back to the road. She blew out a sigh of relief when she saw the traffic start to move and within moments, they were out of the street and the tension in his body relaxed a little.

""Are you ok?" Ana asked softly, resting a hand on his thigh. He nodded without looking at her and she sighed.

"I just wish sometimes I could go back in time," Christian admitted. Ana nodded knowing exactly what he meant. She wished she could go back in time every single day and correct her mistake.

"Me too," se sighed.

"I want to make a stop somewhere before I take you to my apartment," Ana nodded and the rest of the journey was in silence. She couldn't stop the tears from welling in her eyes and moved her fingers to wipe them; Christian knew she was crying but he didn't say a word. He headed down main street and made a turn off that he hadn't done since that day. Ana gasped as she realised what he was doing.

"Christian..." she whispered panicked, her eyes wide but he didn't speak. He just kept his foot on the peddle. He continued driving until they met a small side road; a very familiar side road. Ana's heart was beating so loud she could have sworn that he could hear it. He pulled up outside a house that she knew all too well and she looked out of the window in awe, not even trying to conceal her tears.

"W-why.. are we here?" she whispered.

"Come on," he opened his door, grabbing the keys to the car and then went around and opened her side. She stumbled out and they walked up the steps to the house they used to call their home. The flowers Ana had planted in the front garden had wilted and died. The grass hadn't been mowed, the wooden flower boxes on the outside had been torn off and one of the windows was smashed.

"Wait, we can't just..." Ana said, pulling on his arm as he went to the door.

"I never sold it, we still own it," Christian said in a flat tone as he put a key from his car keying into the door and wiggled it around until it opened. Ana gasped, clutching Christian's arm so that she didn't fall as they walked into the house. Everything was exactly the way they left it, from the living room to the kitchen. The furniture was still there, dusty and defeated. The curtains were drawn in every room and the wood that was once sparkling and polished was tarnished and faded. She walked upstairs as Christian followed behind and walked into the bedroom they'd once shared. The bed was still there, the sheets thrown over and the pillows plumped. The books she'd left behind were scattered on the floor and the wardrobes were bare. The house she'd once loved was cold and bare and she hated it. This had been their home and now, it was broken.

"After you left the house that day, I only came back to it once. I was upset and I wanted to have a little time to myself and to get some of my things. After that, I just locked up and never went back. I did always mean to sell it but every time I came close to putting it on the market, something held me back and I couldn't do it," Christian said softly, sitting down on the bed and looking out the window. Ana watched him feeling defeated and heartbroken. "The good memories outweigh any bad memories I have when I'm in this house and I think that's why I could never sell it. If this house went and I no longer owned it then it was all over. I guess I always had a feeling that one day I would see you again and that's what always stopped me. This house was my happy place and it was ours. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else having our home, our memories, the happiness that once existed." Ana cried quietly, watching as tears rolled down Christians face.

"I loved this house," she whispered, "it held all of our dreams together. That once day we would have babies and fill the spare rooms. That we'd grow old and grey together in this house, that we could be anything as long as we were together, I look in this bedroom and I see so many memories, so many special moments," she walked over to sit next to Christian, putting a little distance between them. He was still staring out the window in thought but she knew he was listening, "I guess I didn't realise just how much I loved the peace and happiness I felt when we were in this house until it became a memory. It hurts to even think about,"

"I want us to get back to that place, I want us to make a home here again, I want to come through those doors downstairs and hear you singing as you cook dinner or laughing at something on TV." Christian said softly. Ana nodded. He turned to face her and 2 pairs of tearful, red eyes met. He placed his hand on top of hers and gave her a watery smile.

"I want that more than anything, baby," Ana said, squeezing his hand. He burst into tears and she pulled him to her, crying into his neck as he did the same to her; clutching each other so that nothing could tear them apart. So many years of hurt and pain dissolved into a moment of madness as they both released their emotions.

"I'm sorry," Ana cried into his neck, "I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry that we didn't get our happily ever after." He sobbed harder, his whole body shaking as he let go of the words he didn't know how to say. The repressed emotions which had festered inside of him for so long waiting to be freed all came out at once, causing his body to sag. The fight was gone; he realised now that she was the only person who could release him from the hell he'd been feeling for so long. She was the only person who he'd dare to cry and show emotion in front of. She was the only person who knew what he had been through because she'd felt the same. She cried with him now, feeling everything he felt. The connection between them was electric, two broken hearts fusing together like magnets. And then, they were pulling away from each other, only to clash their lips together in a heated tango. Tears still splilled from their eyes as they tore at each others clothes; shoes, shirt, trousers, dress all thrown the floor as they collapsed to the bed, rolling around, frantically trying to climb inside each other's skin to feel the closeness. Skin on heated skin, hands holding hands and bodies grinding together as they panted, feeling the other's breath on their skin. Their lips crushed together once more, hands gripping hair and sweaty skin as they moved together. He thrust hard and deep into her, trying to convince himself that this was real and not another dream. The head board banged hard against the wall, pieces of plaster dropping the floor in a cloud of dust but her moans and gasps concealed the sound. For the first time in forever, they were finally home. They were surrounded by love, buried in the heat of the moment and everything came alive around them.

"Tell me you love me," he growled. She was lost; delirious. The bed shook and his body tensed as he fucked her with everything he had.

"Mmmm ahh," she moaned. Her breathing was fast; too quick for her to get the words he so desperately wanted her to say out of her mouth.

"Tell me," he growled angrily, the pure emotion on his face and in his voice startling her.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she sobbed, gripping him tightly.

"Tell me it's only me,"

"It's only you,"

"You're mine," he growled into her ear his hips driving even harder against her, his fingers pinching her nipples.

"I'm your Christian, I'm yours,"

"And this is mine," he moved his fingers delicately down her stomach and then between her legs, touching her roughly. Her back reached off the bed and she whimpered.

"Yes, it's all yours, I'm all yours." She fell over the cliff quickly, screaming out a strangled rendition of his name as he continued to move on within her. He collapsed on top of her after falling from his high, physically and emotionally spent. They were panting; a tangled heap of twisted limbs and sweaty skin both too spent to even move.

After a few moments of lying there, their breathing calmed and so did their emotions. The explosions of feelings which had erupted and broken them down just seconds before had simmered and left them both needing comfort. Christian leaned down to kiss her quickly, closing his eyes for a moment to relish the fact that she was with him before they both got up and got dressed in silence. He held out his hand to her once they were dressed and they headed for the door, both feeling a lot lighter. There was a silence between them when they got into the car but it was no longer uncomfortable and tense. It was a reflective silence and they held hands across the console as Christian steered the car.

"Do you think maybe we could stop by Kate's house? I left a lot of my stuff there which I need to get and I haven't told her I'm back,"

"Sure we can," Christian nodded, his voice gruff and croaky from crying. Ana giggled at the sound of it and that sweet melody made him smile too.

"What are you laughing at Miss Steele?" he teased, smiling as he turned the corner of Kate's street.

"Nothing Mr Grey," she giggled. He turned to look at her and that twinkle in his eyes that she loved so much was back. The dark shadow which had cast a gloom over him had gone and her Christian had returned again, stronger than ever. He pulled up outside Kate's house and parked the car.

"Do you think Elliot will be here?" she asked quickly. Suddenly nervous about seeing her best friend in case Christian's brother was lurking around. She wasn't quite ready to face the Grey's just yet. She needed a little time to prepare what she was going to say to them and a little time to calm herself enough to look them in the eye first.

"It's 3pm baby, he'll be at work, Kate never leaves the couch so I'm sure she'll be in," Christian said looking at his watch. Ana laughed and nodded.

"You'll have to see him at some point though,"

"I know just... not yet," she smiled at him quickly before they got out of the car. Ana practically ran up the driveway, her excitement to see her best friend bubbling over and knocked on the door.

She heard Kate's voice shout something that vaguely resembled 'one minute' before the door unlocked and her best friend opened it, rubbing her eyes and looking like she'd just woken up. Her face broke into a gasp and her eyes went wide as she took in Ana. And then even wider when she looked at Christian standing next to her.

"Ana!" she screamed, rushing to hug her friend tightly. Ana giggled, squeezing Kate close.

"I'm so happy to see you Kate,"

"Oh god Ana, me too, come in, come in," Kate said ushering her in. She turned to look at Christian and smiled.

"And you! giving us all such a fright when we thought you'd been lost at sea!" Kate said playfully smacking Christian's arm.

"I apologize for giving you a scare Katherine," Christian chuckled.

"Yeah well, what would I do without that handsome face coming to get Elliot when he'd drunk and pissing me off," she smiled, pulling him into a hug.

"Listen, I'll give you too some time to catch up, baby I'll pick you up in an hour or so," he shouted to Ana who walked back over to him from where she was stood in Kate's living room.

"Ok, don't be long," she leaned over to kiss him softly, "love you,"

"Love you too, have fun ladies," he winked before heading out. Kate shut the door behind him and stared at Ana in shock.

"Why?.. how? you and Christian? I'm so confused right now," Ana laughed.

"I'll tell you all about it, but first, we might need some wine," Kate nodded, grabbing a bottle and a couple of glasses from the cupboard before they sat down on the sofa. Ana replayed everything to her best friend, Christian washing up on the beach, nursing him back to health, Jose, their date, everything. Kate sat there with a look of astonishment as she asked questions and greedily took in every answer. She was so happy for Ana. Nobody loved anybody like Ana and Christian loved each other and she was so glad that they were back together. She'd been so angry at her friend for what she did but she knew that Ana regretted it more than anything.

"Wow Ana, that's one hell of a story, wait until your kids hear that one day," Ana giggled and nodded.

"Also, I came to get some things that I left here to bring to Christian's," Kate nodded.

"I was hoping you'd come and get your stuff one day, it's just gathering dust in the garage." They headed down to the garage and Ana laughed as she saw all of her clothes, books... everything she'd left behind in a pile of boxes on the floor.

"Sorry babe, I don't do neat," Kate said, picking up one of the three boxes. Ana picked up the other two in each hand and carried them back into the house. She didn't even know what was in them.

"I kind of just grabbed everything that I could. Most of your books are still in the old house, maybe you could go there?" Kate said.

"We did," Kate turned around to face her, "Christian took me there before we came, it was ... emotional to say the least,"

"What happened?"

"It was just.. so cold. All our memories, dreams, everything that we loved had been in that house and it was a reminder of what we could have had. We both just broke down and everything came pouring out. We cried and then we ended up making love on the bed and, it was like home again. He said that it was his hope for us to one day make that house a home again and do what we were going to do and I want that more than anything," Ana replied.

"I always hoped you two would find your way back to each other. What are you going to do about Christian's family?" Ana sighed.

"I have no idea. I'm so scared to see them all again but I'll do it for Christian. I hurt them all so much and it will kill me to see how much they hate me,"

"They don't have you Ana, they hate what you did but it's been 5 long years. You've both suffered enough and you deserve to be happy. Surely they'll see that,"

"I hope so," Ana sighed. Christian came to pick her up a few minutes later and with a final goodbye to Kate, they left with the boxes in tow.

"Where did you go?" Ana asked.

"I took your stuff back to the apartment and had a little tidy up," Ana smiled.

"You didn't have to do that sweetheart," Christian winked. He pulled up outside a large block of posh apartments and then inputted a code to go down into an underground car park.

"What is this place?"

"Escala, when I became top seller I was on a very good wage and I saved all my money. When I was on leave from the army 2 years ago I decided to buy it. I kept the rest in my savings for a rainy day," Ana nodded. They headed to an elevator, both holding a box in their hands and Christian keyed in his floor. They went up to the 8th floor and headed along and Christian unlocked the door. The apartment was beautiful with marble floors, big rooms and a spiral staircase. A balcony lead out into the moonlit city; it was so cold though. It couldn't be constituted as a home.

"I haven't lived here long," Christian explained, "a few weeks here and there but never very long. My sister did the interior and my dad got me most of the things in the apartment like the kitchen."

"It's beautiful," Ana said, putting her arms around him.

"You're beautiful, I'm so glad you're here with me."

"Thank you for having me Mr Grey,"

"You don't have to thank me Miss Steele, just never leave me,"

"Never," she grinned, leaning in and kissing him. She let go and started to walk into the apartment, gasping when she felt a sharp slap her behind. She looked back to see Christian following her with a very salacious smile on his face.

"Let's get you unpacked," he said, "and I'll enjoy the view,"

* * *

A/N - So this chapter was a little emotional. I wasn't sure about them going to the old house but I decided to put it in anyway. Let me know what you thought :) Next chapter - Ana and Christian visit the Grey's.


	10. Chapter 10

**10)** **An unwanted visitor**

The next day

She was nervous; unbelievably nervous. She'd moved her things into Christian's apartment the day before and made it a little more homely but she couldn't even think of how happy she was to be living with Christian when all that was on her mind was what she was faced with today. Christian had called his mother the night before and told her that he was coming over. Grace was delighted asking him question after question and then he spoke to Mia and Carrick for a little while as Ana listened. Now, as she sat in the car on the way to the Grey's she was almost shaking. Christian had noticed that she'd barely slept and had been shaky and quiet all morning. Of course he knew that seeing his family would be hard for Ana, but at the same time, it needed to happen. He couldn't hide and she couldn't avoid it. It was that simple. He refused to let Ana's fears about what might happen overcome her.

Sure, his family were upset with her. Of course they were, she hurt them all by hurting him but they weren't bad people. Sure, they might have a bit of a shout and there would be tension to start but they were forgiving. Christian had been an awful child, always getting into fights but his parents, Grace especially, had the patience of a saint. They were the nicest and most gentle people you could ever meet. Grace, being a doctor, dealt with patients every single day and was seen as the Seattle hospital angel. She'd rescued Christian after he was found, starving and beaten 4 days after his mother had died. She loved him from the moment she saw him and along with Carrick, rescued him from hell. He loved his family and he knew that they would forgive Ana and start to trust her again. It may take time and the relationships may not be _as_ close as they had been but nevertheless, they would build bridges with her.

He glanced over at her, wringing her hands in the passenger seat and looking like she was about to have a flu shot rather than see family. She looked so beautiful today; her hair was up in a pony tail and she was wearing a pair of jeans that had been in one of the boxes Kate had given her and a white blouse. He put his large hand on top of hers drawing her attention to him.

"What's going on in that mind of yours?" he asked lightly, giving her a smile in the hopes it might comfort her a little. He never expected her to be _this_ on edge but he guessed that she was going through every possible scenario in her mind and coming up with the worst things that his family could do or say to her.

"I'm just nervous," she said, holding his hand tightly between hers.

"I know baby, but nothing bad will happen to you ok? my parents, Mia and Elliot will be pissed but they'll get over it. They'll have to get over it because I'm not letting you out of my sight again. You're mine, you'll always be mine and they will have to deal with it," Ana nodded. She had to be strong. This was for Christian, this was for their happiness and she'd do anything so long as they could stay together. They had to do this at some point so why not start building bridges as early as possible?

They careered into the driveway of the Grey's mansion after Christian inputted the code and then pulled up outside. Grace and Mia were already barrelling out of the door to reach him.

"Christian! oh my baby boy," Grace cried, jumping into his arms and landing kisses all over his face. He'd usually have cringed at this, not liking people touching him but he needed to hug his mother, he'd missed her so much. He'd missed everyone. "Oh I'm so glad you're ok, let me look at you," she pulled back and took his face in, stroking her fingers over his stubble. "So handsome, I'm so happy to see you, god the fright you gave me when they said you were missing,"

"I'm happy to see you too, mom," he smiled, kissing her cheek, "and you too Sis," he grinned, opening his arms to Mia who rushed to fill them, sobbing against his chest as he rubbed her back.

"Oh here he is, making all the ladies cry," Elliot said, coming out the door with a grin. None of them had noticed Ana yet. She was still sat in the car, scared to open the door and make herself known. Elliot hugged his brother tightly, "so good to see you bro, I've missed you," he said, slapping his back.

"You too El, it's great to see you all, where's dad?" he asked.

"Inside, come on, I'm making lunch and we need to catch up," Grace said, grabbing hold of his arm.

"Wait mom, there's someone I want to show you first," Grace looked puzzled and Christian went around to Ana's door. Due to the tinted windows, she could see nothing but as soon as she saw Ana's face her eyes went stony whilst Elliot and Mia looked in shock.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey, what the hell is she doing here?" Grace asked, her voice filled with anger. Ana took in the scene and gulped. Elliot and Mia were glaring at her with their arms crossed and Grace looked like she was about to explode.

"Mom, look..."

"You better come inside, both of you, Elliot, get your father," Grace said, still staring at Ana. Elliot and Mia went inside followed by Grace.

"Well, that could have gone better," Christian said, chuckling but stopped when he saw that Ana was on the verge of tears.

"Baby, you knew they were going to be mad but their bark is bigger than their bite, you know that. Grace Grey couldn't hurt a fly, she's just very protective of me. Now, come on, let's go and get this over with," he held out his hand and Ana took it.

He could feel her hand shaking in his and felt awful for her; she was so worried. He knew that this was what to be expected but he instinctively wanted to protect Ana from everything, even his families words, it was in his nature. They walked up the steps of the mansion and down the hall. Elliot, Mia, Grace and Carrick were all sat down in the giant sitting room watching the couple as they walked in. Ana had a vice grip on Christian's hand and he was sure it was going to end up hurting again as it had just over a week ago but he didn't have the heart to tell her to let go. Not when she looked so terrified. He squeezed her hand gently in an effort to make her elevate her strong grip and it seemed to work. He sighed and looked at his family whilst Ana looked at the floor.

"Hello son, lovely to see you," Carrick said getting up to shake Christian's hand, "I wish I could say the same for you Ana," he said looking at her. She looked up for a moment before looking at Christian.

"Why don't you both sit down," Carrick said, pointing towards the vacant sofa agacent to where the family where sitting.

"Alright dad," Christian said, leading Ana over to the couch and sitting close to her. They kept their hands intertwined and Grace looked like she was about to explode.

"Before you say anything, I just want to tell you that Ana and I are together again and we love each other." Christian said calmly.

"What on earth are you thinking? Christian! do you not remember what this girl put you through? do you not remember what she did? how can you be with her? she doesn't love you," Grace seethed.

"I do," came a small voice. Grace stopped and looked at Ana surprised. She raised her head and looked at Grace, her face now showing determination, "I do love him, I love him more than anything," Grace and Mia scoffed and Elliot rolled his eyes. Carrick watched on sceptically.

"Oh yeah, you love him?" Elliot asked, "did you love him when you didn't show up on your wedding day to him? yeah, I can really see how much you love my brother Ana," he rolled his eyes again.

"How can you be here Ana? you destroyed everything. We treated you like family! you were the sister I never had!" Mia said, more upset than angry and Ana found herself crying along with her.

"Oh and now she turns on the waterworks, what did you expect us to do Ana? welcome you with open arms? I won't have you hurting my son again! I can't bare it! I tried to protect him from anymore pain and then you come waltzing in and destroy him!" Grace yelled.

"I wouldn't hurt him! I will never hurt him again," Ana said, her voice wavering as silent tears fell down her face.

"What happened to Leila son?" Carrick asked. Christian squeezed Ana's hand knowing that he hadn't told her about any other girls he'd been with. Ana looked down, trying not to let the Grey family see how much that hurt her.

"I broke up with her before I went out on tour," Christian answered.

"And what about the other one? Lizzie was it? the one I walked in on you with," Christian blushed red and Ana felt herself getting more and more upset and jealous. She wanted to cry her eyes out, all that was running through her mind was a blonde bimbo writhing around underneath her man as he fucked her. That image was burning through her skull and she found herself wanting to run from the room for some fresh air. Why hadn't he told her? sure she'd never directly asked him whether he'd been with anyone else but it still hurt that he hadn't told her _everything_ about the past 5 years when she'd asked him.

"Again, I broke up with her, in fact, she was before Leila," Christian answered calmly, wanting to comfort Ana but knowing this wasn't the time or place yet.

"It doesn't matter who Christian was with before, this isn't about that. I'm not happy at all about the fact that you are with Ana again Christian. I can't pick up the pieces again when she breaks your heart." Grace said, no longer shouting, "I thought of you as a daughter Ana," she said. Ana slowly lifted her head to see Grace staring at her with glassy eyes. "You stayed over here more than you stayed at your own house as a child. I cared for you so much. If you didn't want to marry my son, you could have said it at any point and I wouldn't have judged you. I would have nodded and told you to take a little time and slow down a little. But you didn't. You never said those words and I was so ready to welcome you into the family officially. You didn't just hurt my son that day Ana, you hurt all of us and I'm afraid that I can't forgive you for that. I can try to be civil with you, but I can't do anything else." Grace said.

"I understand, I'm so sorry Mrs Grey, I hurt you all and I will spend the rest of my days making it up to all of you and proving myself worthy of Christian," Grace sighed and got up leaving the room. Carrick followed her leaving Elliot and Mia. Carrick was always the peace keeper in the family. He never had a bad word to say about anyone although Ana was sure that she was probably the exception to that rule.

Christian could see that Ana was really upset and thought that she might need to go outside for a minute to calm down and get some fresh air.

"Guys, I'm taking Ana outside for a minute, tell mom and dad that we won't be long and then we're going to talk about all of this civilally, like adults," Christian said.

"But bro, you can't blame them," Elliot said.

"We need to be civil at least, I won't be long," Christian looked at both of his siblings and then held out his hand to Ana as the pair walked through the living room and down a corridor to the sliding windows leading to the back yard. They walked out a little into the sunshine, the grass crunching beneath their feet and then he turned her to face him.

"Hey, come on baby, it wasn't that bad," he said, holding her face in his hands and brushing away her tears. She looked like a little cherub and he couldn't help but lean in to place a gentle kiss on her cherry red nose. She scrunched up her face and he chuckled.

"They hate me Christian," she sighed, resting her head against his chest.

"They don't hate you Ana, they're upset and angry but this was all going to happen at some point. They're just getting some words of their chest. The worst part is over, ok?" he said, kissing the top of her hair and running his hand through her pony tail, curling the ends around his finger. Ana pulled back for a moment.

"And you, who's Leila and what was the other one called? Lizzie? who are they?" she asked, anger and jealousy rushing through her. Christian looked taken aback at the anger in her blue eues and furrowed his eyebrows.

"They are girls that I knew," he answer, his eyes puzzled.

"Did you sleep with them?" she asked, her voice breaking at the end.

"Ana..."

"Did you have sex with them Christian? it's a simple question," Christian sighed and looked away from her, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yes," Ana felt wounded. In her mind she knew she had no right to be jealous or angry but her heart was weeping.

"How many?" she whispered, pain evident in her voice.

"How many what?" he asked, his voice and face guarded.

"How many girls have you slept with?" he sighed again, resting his hands on his lips and putting his head down.

"Ana..." he pleaded, uncomfortable with her line of questioning. He didn't know how to answer that question. Why would she even want to know that?

"Please tell me,"

"Ana you don't need to know, it will only make you upset,"

"I need to know Christian, just tell me," he rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. She wasn't going to give up until he told her so after a moments thought, he decided that the only course of action was to give in and tell her.

"5," he answered in a soft voice but to her, it was loud and clear. She couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"I can't believe you... I can't believe you slept with 5 other girls. How could you? what's wrong with you?!" She glared at him, her fists balled. She wanted to go and punch every single girl who had seen him naked and felt his dick inside them. She felt overwhelmingly possessive, unbelievably jealous. She was practically green but Christian wasn't buying it this time. He was angry at her line of accusation and wasn't going to let her go on with her little pity party over there.

"How could I?" he roared so loud that she actually jumped back a little, "are you fucking kidding me Anastasia? you can't believe that I tried to move on by having some meaningless sex to try and ease the ache that _you_ left me with? _you_ left _me_ at the alter! you don't have a right to be angry! you broke me Ana and I tried to fix myself! It took me 2 years before I could even think about going near another woman and you make me out to be a bad guy? give me a break," his hands were tugging at his hair and she watched him anxiously, feeling all the anger leave her body and guilt run through her in it's place. "I tried everything! I was practically an alcoholic for the first few months after the wedding day, my dad had to come and pour my brandy down the drain! I can't believe you would make me feel guilty about this," he was furious. He'd never been so angry at her. How dare she. He understood that she was jealous, he felt the same with when he thought that her and Jose were together, but for her to try to make him feel guilty for it.

"Christian, baby, calm down," Ana said cautiously, raising her hand to rest of his arm.

"Let's just go and get this fucking over with," he growled, running his hands over his face once more before marching into the house with Ana following behind him. They entered the house in silence and Ana tried to calm herself down. She could talk to Christian later, it would all be fine. Her main and pressing worry was about the in-laws now. They entered the living room and Grace and Carrick still weren't down. Elliot noticed Christian's mood and looked at his puzzled.

"Christian, can I take Ana to my room so we can talk?" Mia asked. Looking between them. Even she noticed the tension between them. She had been speaking to Elliot so hadn't heard anything outside but something had definitely been said.

"Yes," Christian said, his voice still pissed. Ana looked at him wishing she could go back 5 minutes and not bring up his ex's. She just wanted them to be ok again. She tried to reach for his hand but he moved away and went to sit on the reclining chair next to Elliot. She sighed, looking at him longingly for a moment before looking at his sister. She followed Mia upstairs and could vaguely hear hushed whispering coming from one of the rooms and knew that Grace and Carrick were talking about her but she wasn't there for long enough to hear what they were saying. It couldn't be anything good after the reception Grace had given her and she'd much rather not know what they were saying.

"Come in," Mia said, pushing open her door. Ana walked in and looked around. The room was so... Mia. It had changed from the room she had when Ana knew her. At the time, Mia was only 14, now she was nearly 20 and her room reflected it. Gone were the pink walls and fluffy pillows. Her room was plain white with awards and certificates littering them. There was a grand piano and a bookshelf in one corner and a huge walk in closet in the other with an en-suite next to it. Her room was a girls dream and she looked around in awe.

"Sit down," Mia said, pointing to the bed. Ana sat down and Mia stood by her door, watching Ana. Ana tried not to smile at how grown up Mia had become. It was clear to see that she'd missed an awful lot including seeing Mia grow up. She wished now that she had been around to witness everything.

"First of all, did you too just have a fight?" she asked.

"Not really, it was just a little disagreement," Mia nodded.

"Why are you back here Ana? why are you back with Christian? are you going to hurt him again?" Ana shook her head.

"No Mia, of course not. I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I panicked on our wedding day, I got cold feet and I will apologize for that for the rest of my life if I have to. But I love your brother, I've never loved any else and I never will. He's it for me." Ana went on to explain everything that had happened. How they met again, how she nursed him back to health, how they fell in love with each other all over again. Mia listened intently, leaving her position by the door halfway through the story to sit next to Ana on the bed. At the end of the story, Ana was looking down at her hands not knowing what else to say. She didn't know Mia like she used to. The Mia she knew was fun loving and hyper and this Mia was so ... serious and grown up. But to Ana's surprise, Mia started to speak.

"I don't think Christian was ever truly happy without you and I know that he will always love you. With that said, you can't hurt him again Ana. I watched my brother shatter before my eyes. I watched a broken man heal himself piece by piece. He won't survive it again."

"I won't Mia, I would never,"

"You'll understand my families reaction. We were all so close and it's hard to forgive you for hurting someone we love. I lost a sister that day and I'm finding it hard to speak to you in fear that we'll become close again and I'll be let down once more,"

"I want us to be friends again Mia, I've missed you a lot," Mia nodded.

"I want us to be friend again in the future. For now, I think we can all be civil," Ana nodded, "now, let's go downstairs, I think mom's making dinner and I'm sure Christian will make sure you're invited," they headed downstairs and heard talking coming from the kitchen. To Ana's surprise, Christian was stood there with his shirt off and Grace had her medical kit out inspecting his body.

"What's going on mom?" Mia asked, walking over to see what her mother was doing.

"I'm admiring Ana's handwork on my son," Grace said, not taking her eyes from his body.

"What do you mean?" Mia asked.

"Well, Christian was telling me exactly how Ana came to be in Christian's life again and it seems that she saved him from certain death and stitched him back together again, very well actually. All the bullet wounds have healed almost completely, there is barely a scar," she said brushing over one causing him to flinch a little.

"I learnt it all from you Mrs Grey," Ana said in a soft voice. Grace looked at her for a moment before looking back at Christian's body.

"How many times were you shot bro?" Elliot asked.

"4 times, one through my leg and the other through my upper body," Christian said. Elliot winced.

"And you washed up on the shore like that?" he asked. Christian nodded.

"I wasn't breathing, Ana had to give me CPR," Elliots eyes widened.

"Would you all mind if I had a quick word with Ana on my own?" Grace asked all of a sudden, putting away her bag of medical supplies.

"Mom..." Christian started, clearly worried about what his mother was going to say.

"It's ok Christian, I just want to talk to her I promise," Christian sighed and shrugged his shirt back on. Carrick, Christian, Elliot and Mia left the kitchen. The last thing that could be heard was Elliot asking Christian what it felt like to be shot and receiving a slap on the back of the head from Carrick for asking such a stupid question. The door shut and Ana was on her own with Christian's mother. The tense atmosphere made her want to break down. She remembered a time when she'd come into this house and run up to hug Mrs Grey the second she saw her. Grace had taught Ana how to cook, how to sew, she'd been a shoulder to cry on, an advice giver, she'd been everything her own mother should have been. To think that she'd put so much distance between this lovely woman and herself was a horrible feeling.

"Ana, I just want to thank you for saving my son's life. I will never be able to repay you for that," Grace said softly, sitting down at the kitchen Island with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She looked exhausted and Ana felt responsible. She cautiously went to sit in the chair opposite the older lady who was rubbing her eyes. She seemed to have aged 10 years at least since she'd last seen her. Worry lines covered her face and her eyes had lost the glimmer that they once held. This was her fault. She'd made this woman become a shell of what she once was. A mothers worry holds no bounds. She couldn't imagine the pain this woman had gone through. She'd adopted Christian and saved him from the abuse and neglect he'd been living with. She promised him that he would never feel pain again as long as she could help it and Ana had made her break her promise. She'd watched her son; that little boy that she'd instantly loved all those years ago, live in constant emotional pain and that killed her. She couldn't help him anymore; she couldn't save him because it wasn't her duty anymore. She couldn't help him when what he needed Ana. She tried her best, gave him everything she could but he'd needed Ana.

"I would do anything for Christian Mrs Grey, you may not believe me and I wouldn't blame you, but I love him with every fibre of my being and I always will," Grace sighed.

"Help me understand Ana, I've been looking for answers for 5 years, I've watched my son fall deeper and deeper into despair, help me understand,"

"Mrs Grey..."

"Grace, call me Grace,"

"Grace, I have no excuses. My behaviour that day was selfish and childish and I regret it every single day. I got cold feet. My mother, as you know, was on her 4th husband by that time and I guess I just got scared that marriage may do that to Christian and I. Then, I started coming up with all of these scenario's in my head that marriage may break up. I don't know why I ever thought those things, I can only put it down to my own stupidity. I told Ray to tell you that I wouldn't be marrying Christian and I heard you and you sounded so distraunt and it knocked me sideways. By then, it was too late. I tried to find Christian afterwards but when I did, he didn't want anything to do with me, rightly so after what I'd done. I didn't do it out of spite Grace, I didn't do it because I didn't love your son, I did it because of what marriage had done to my family and my own insecurities and my decision ruined my life as well as everyone else's," Ana sobbed. She didn't know whether Grace would understand any of that. She wished every single day that she could go back 5 years and talk some sense into her old self. Tell her that she couldn't miss out on love and happiness for her mother's mistakes. That she couldn't live in fear of a broken future when a bright one was on the horizon. But she couldn't. She didn't have a time machine. So instead, she had to make up for her past mistakes now and rebuild what had been destroyed.

"Where did you go when you left Seattle?" Grace asked, tears shining in her eyes. She couldn't help it. She'd wanted to talk to Ana for so long. Questions had gone around in her mind for years; what she wanted to know, what she wanted to ask Ana. Why did you leave my son? why did you break his heart and leave me to try to pick up the pieces? but now, they all seemed so irrelevant. She wanted to know what her life had been like rather than hear about the dark past they'd both been part of.

"I went to Goa, My dad bought me a small house on the coast there, it was pretty nice considering the poor area I was living in. I didn't have much contact with the outside world, I saw my dad a few times and Kate but other than that, I didn't see anybody. I had a friend, Jose, and we bought a farm together. He was the only person I talked to and even we weren't that close. I rarely saw him. I spent my time on the farm or walking to the market. That's what I was doing when Christian was washed up on the beach, coming back from the market. And, the rest is history," Grace nodded.

"Christian told me the story of what happened, good stitch work by the way," Grace said, smiling slightly. Ana giggled.

"I learnt from the best,"

"I will try to be supportive towards you and Christian but as you can imagine, it will take time. I can forgive you Ana but it will take time to rebuild any kind of relationship and for me to trust that you won't hurt my son again," Ana nodded.

"I'll prove it to you Grace, I'll prove it to you all, just as I'm doing to Christian," Grace nodded.

"I was going to ask you both to stay for a meal but Christian says you already have plans. I hope you'll both come again one day next week for lunch,"

"I'd like that very much," Ana nodded. They stepped out into the living room and 4 pairs of eyes turned towards them curiously.

"What's going on?" Grace asked.

"We were waiting for explosions," Carrick answered with a grin. Grace rolled her eyes.

"The only explosions you'll hear is if you let Elliot near the kitchen to cook anything," Christian laughed and slapped his brother on the back.

"Right, we're leaving, it was nice to see you all and we'll have dinner next week at my place," Christian said, hugging his brother, mom and sister and then shaking his fathers hand. Ana waved and nodded at them as they left. She could still feel how tense Christian was next to her and hoped she could make it better when they got back to the apartment.

"Christian, look, I'm sorry, It was wrong of me to try to make you feel guilty, I was.. I am jealous." Christian sighed.

"Ana, let's just do this at home," although Christian clearly wasn't alright, she couldn't help but smile a little at the word _home._ A home, with Christian; now that was bliss. They continued the rest of the journey in silence and then Christian parked and they went up in the elevator to the apartment.

"Ok, let's sit down a minute," Christian said walking into the living room. Ana sat on the couch and he joined her a moment later.

"I want to explain something to you. I get that you were jealous, if you'd been with someone else I'd have gone out of my mind. I also get that maybe you feel a bit betrayed that I haven't only been with you but, it hurt that you tried to make me feel guilty about it. Ana, I have nothing to feel guilty about. It had been years, you were in another country, I thought you didn't love me and I felt betrayed by you and part of me hated you for how you made me feel. So, I met a few women at bars and clubs. I had 3 one night stands. I never saw those women ever again. I got drunk and we fucked, that was it. In fact, the first time was a one night stand and I felt terrible the next day. In my mind, I felt I had betrayed you somehow and every memory in my head was of you hating me for it. The last 2 women, I tried to date but it was mainly just sex for both parties. Neither of them lasted very long, simply because they weren't you," Christian breathed, putting his head in his hands. "Ana, you can't leave me at the alter and move to a different fucking country and expect me not to have tried to move on in 5 years." She sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry. It just hurts that another woman knows little things about you that only I knew. That's what I'm jealous about. That another woman has seen you without clothes on and felt your skin and made you feel good, things that only I had done to you. I hate the fact that another woman has pleasured you and felt you inside them and made you come. It upsets me, but I understand that you did what was best for your state of mind," Christian nodded.

"I did, you were gone and I needed to at least try to move on. But I never did," they sat in silence for a moment before Ana stood up and got on her knees in front of Christian. He looked at her wide eyed.

"What are you doing?"

"One of many things that only _I_ will do for the rest of your life," she whispered, dragging her hands up his thighs and biting her lips. He groaned, swallowing harshly as he attempted to control himself. She was amazing at this, sucking him, seeing her mouth try to take his big cock. The visual itself was enough to bring him close to the edge

In some ways, he understood why she felt betrayed. It sent a rush of pride through him to know that he was her one and only. It made him a million times more possessive of her. He couldn't even think of another man knowing what her lips felt like around their cock or knowing what it felt like to feel her tight heat wrapped around them as they buried themselves in her tight, wet body. He couldn't think of another man hearing her moans and whimpers without wanting to punch a wall. _Mine_ _._

She unbuckled his belt and pulled his slacks down until they were at his ankles. She undid his shoes and then pulled off both them and his pants. She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with lust and a small grin on her face of excitement as she looked his up and down. She focused on his cock, licking her lips when she saw the outline of his member through the material of his boxers. She parted his thighs a little more and scooted between them, resting her hands on each side of his lips. She used one finger to trace the line of his erection and he felt himself twitch in his boxer shorts under her gaze, his eyes rolling back into his head.

"You're so hard, like rock," she said, rubbing her palm against him. "So big, only I can make you this hard," she said, looking up at him through lowered lashes.

"Only you," he breathed. She moved her fingers to the elasticated band of his underwear and pulled them down gently until he sprung free. His cock was perfect. She had never seen another but she loved Christian's; so long, thick and tasty. She put her hand on the base of him, barely able to wrap her small hand around his hardness and took a lick at the top of his cock, running her tongue over the head. He flopped back onto the couch, breathing deeply. She touched her tongue against the ridge under the head of his penis that she knew would make him groan and she got the result she wanted. She touched it again before placing him in her mouth and beginning to suck, stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth with her hand and fondling him.

"So good baby, fuck," he groaned, clasping the top of her pony tail with his hand to guide her in taking more of him. She sucked harder, stuffing more of him into her wanting mouth with every bob of her head until he was crying out and coming down her throat in copious amounts. She waited until the last drop had gone down her throat and he was flaccid before letting him fall from her lips. He looked like a wilted flower, dazed and sated laying back against the couch with his pants around his ankles.

"No one can suck your cock like I can," Ana said standing up and unbuttoning her jeans. Christian watched out of heavy eyes as she stripped for him, unbuttoning her blouse and pulling off her jeans until she was naked before him. She was a dream; the most stunning woman he'd ever seen. No one could compare to Ana. She placed her hand on his cock again, squeezing until he was hard once more and leaning in to kiss his neck.

"And no one can fuck you like I can," She growled into his ear before sliding down on him. Nothing ever gave him comfort like the feeling of being inside her. Once, he'd stupidly thought that he could find this sort of connection with another. he thought he could move on, find someone else and that he could fall as deeply and completely in love with her as he had done for Ana. He was so wrong. He realised that very quickly. No other woman felt as tight and warm around him as Ana. No other woman could make him lose his mind like Ana. No one knew him like Ana did. Over the years, they'd learned everything that there was to know about each other in bed. Likes and dislikes. They'd done practically everything together, there wasn't anything that they wouldn't try as an adventurous young couple. That also meant that they'd been finely tuned with what the other was feeling at all times. He knew that when he nibbled the bottom of Ana's ear lobe she'd become instantly wet. She knew that when she licked and sucked on his fingers or pulled his hair, it would urge him to go faster and harder. Those little things hadn't changed at all, they were instinctive and intuitive. There was no one that knew him quite like Ana did. She was the best at everything without even trying.

"Fuck," he moaned as she slammed down hard, taking every inch of him immediately. It was so deep and she felt so full but she loved the feeling of him being buried inside of her, as deep as he could go. She never felt closer to him than she did when he was inside her and she could feel every ridge and vein as he pushed in and out of her. What started as a hard and fast soon turned loving and slow. She rode him whilst he sucked on her neck, brushing his thumb against her nipples until they pebbled and brushed his fingers between her legs, making her cry out his name. They lay sated against the couch, her head on his shoulder and his soft dick still inside her, recovering from their exertions.

"You're right baby," Christian whispered, "no one can please me like you do."

* * *

A/N - A few people have expressed concerns about Ana possibly being pregnant. Although they haven't been using contraception, there won't be any Grey babies just yet. Thank you for your reviews and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

**11) A time of healing**

(6 weeks later)

The last 6 weeks had been full of healing, that was the only way Ana could describe it. Her and Christian went from strength to strength but Ana's main focus was on helping the Grey's to forgive the past. She realised after speaking to Mia that she never really said goodbye to them; any of them, she just vanished leaving them to pick up the pieces and help Christian as best they could. She realised the night after visiting the Grey's when she was laying in bed, cuddled close to the man she loved that his family didn't hate her. They were just disappointed that she turned out to be everything she said she never would be. She disappeared without a trace, she hurt Christian, abandoned him, things that they didn't think she was capable of doing. It would take time to rebuild the relationships she'd once had and they may not be the same as they once were but she was determined to try.

The couple had been invited over to the Grey's for dinner 6 times since the first dinner, although each one was much the same. Mia had no problem speaking to Ana, but the rest of the family didn't seem as enthusiastic. Grace was civil, occasionally asking questions or flashing her a small smile but that was about it. She didn't ask any question, she mainly just spoke to Christian. Carrick, as usual, just listened to what everyone else had to say, only imputing when he was called upon. Elliot, had yet to say a word to her. She'd tried to smile at him a few times but he would just ignore her and turn away. It hurt, but she knew why. She was trying, but she wasn't sure what she could do next. That was when Ana had an idea and Christian, with Ana's encouragement, had invited the 4 family members to dinner at his... _their_ apartment. Ana was going to cook for them and they were going to have a quiet evening and talk like they used to. She felt that she'd be more confident to try to engage with the family at their apartment rather than at the Grey's house.

"Are you sure about this baby?" Christian asked, coming behind her and wrapping his arms around her mid section in the kitchen as she chopped the vegetables that they'd gone out to buy only this morning. Christian's shelves and fridge had been bare so she'd dragged him out for a big shop. He'd grumbled at first, saying that they could have just ordered stuff from an online supermarket to be delivered but soon found himself having a great time much to Ana's amusement. By the end of the shop, half of the trolley was filled with junk food Christian had picked up whilst walking around the store; potato chips, bags of candy, Hershey's bars, doughnuts, pop tarts. She'd laughed as he piled it all on the register, rolling her eyes when he gave her a boyish grin and shrugged. She kissed him playfully and leaned in to kiss him telling him he'd get a stomach ache if he ate all of this later.

"I'm sure sweetheart, I promise, I want to do everything right and it starts with spending quality time with your family and making them delicious food," Christian nodded, kissing her neck and nuzzling her ear.

"As long as you spend some quality time with me once they leave," he said suggestively, pushing his hard crotch against her backside. Just that small gesture had her burning for him. She turned in his arms and rested her hands on his neck, gently scraping her nails across his flesh knowing how much he loved it when she did that.

"I will always spend quality time with you Mr Grey, lots and lots of quality time, but right now, you're distracting me and I have some awesome food to make," Christian grinned and kissed her lightly.

"Ok, I'll leave you to make your awesome food unless you need my help?" Ana giggled.

"Help? Christian Grey you can't even boil water!" he laughed and squeezed her sides making her squeal.

"So rude Anastasia, do I need to take you over my knee?" he whispered and shivers went down her spine. He hadn't spanked her since they had separated. She used to love it. As a rather adventurous couple, he used spank her if he was jealous or pissed at her and even the thought made her feel hot and moisture coat her thighs.

"Oh, someone liked the thought of that," Christian smirked, looking at the flush on her face, "I think we'll have some fun later Miss Steele, it's been too long," he winked, leaving her a hot mess in the kitchen. _Damn that man._ She continued to cook dinner, leaving it to cook in the over whilst she went to get changed upstairs. Christian was upstairs, sitting on the bed when she walked in.

"What are you doing?" she asked, walking past him to grab a dress out of the closet.

"I'm looking over some idea's. I want to give to my dad so he'll loan me the money to start up a venture," Ana turned to look at him. He only mentioned his plans to start a business as a possibility so she was surprised that he was so serious about it. She pulled on her and dress and the walked over to him, turning around so he could zip her up. Of course, as soon as his fingers touched her spine she tingled all over but for once, he didn't try to play. He zipped her up and then pulled her down into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"I want us to live a good life Ana, and my savings won't last very long. I've wanted to do this for a while but I wasn't ready, now I am. I've got plans and I've done my research. I have a good friend in the business, Ros Bailey, I'll take you to meet her one day. She'd got her own business, it turned over $20 million last year,"

"Wow, that's amazing," Ana expressed wide eyed.

"I know baby, she said she'd help me get started and would even help me with contacts and clients and once I started my business we could become business partners,"

"Christian," Ana turned in his lap to straddle him, "I will support you on anything you want to do, ok? If this is what you want then you got for it, I'll be on your side cheering you on the whole way. I love you and I love how smart you are; plus AP business and economics had to come in handy at some point, right?" Ana giggled and Christian nodded, his eyes sparkling at her.

"My little cheerleader,"

"Always," she kissed him lightly, "I'm going to go finish dinner, your family will be here soon so will you set the table please? also, if you want to talk about this business idea at any time, I'm right here honey," she flashed him a grin and went to get up of his lap but not before Christian kissed her thoroughly and passionately stealing her every nerve and turning her into a pile of mush as always.

Ana checked on the food she'd prepared. It was ironic that she was nervous as to whether Grace would like the food considering it was one of the dishes that she'd taught her; spaghetti and home made meatballs with garlic bread knots. Christian came into the kitchen once he'd set the table and she let him taste the sauce. He told her it was delicious but he could see how stressed she was.

"Calm down baby, it's all going to be fine, the food is perfect, you look perfect," He smiled, "and we're going to have a nice night," Ana nodded and leaned in to give him a kiss when the sound of the lift opening interrupted them.

"I'll go and greet them," Christian said. "You'll do great baby, you always do,"

She heard voices and laugher in the hallway and took a deep breath trying to calm herself. She turned off the hob which was cooking the spaghetti and left it to simmer whilst she took off her apron and went out to meet their guests.

"There she is," Christian smiled, sat with all of his family in the sitting room. They all looked up at her. Grace's face was kind and Mia had a small smile on her face. Carrick nodded at her but Elliot didn't even look at her, he just turned to his father to start a conversation. She knew that it would take time for Elliot to start to like her again. Christian was not only his brother but his best friend and he clearly didn't trust her.

"Something smells delicious," Grace said, turning her attention back to the room.

"Oh thank you, it's Spaghetti and homemade meatballs,"

"Well I can't wait to try it,"

"Ana!" Mia said smiling at her, "Christian said that after dinner I could give you a makeover if you'll let me,"

"A makeover?" Ana asked, looking down at her dress. Did she really look that bad?

"Not like that baby, Mia is to become the next fashionista. She just doesn't have anyone to practice on." Christian explained, moving over a little so that she could sit down next to him. "None of her friends will risk Mia poking their eyes out with brushes,"

"Hey!" Mia exclaimed, slapping Christian on the arm, "don't listen to him, Ana, I'm really good,"

"Well of course I'll be your model for the day Mia," Ana smiled and Mia practically jumped off the couch and raced over to her before she could sit down.

"We can curl your hair, I mean it's already curly but we can put some ring curls in it and we can put silver eyeshadow, in fact, we'll go for a whole silver theme because I think that will really suit you. Then we can..."

"Ok Mia, you can decorate Ana all you want _after_ dinner," Christian said trying to save her from his sisters enthusiastic onslaught.

"That all sounds great Mia, I'll just sit down and you can make me up however you want after dinner," Ana smiled, sending an appreciative look at Christian.

"Yay!" it seemed like the bubbly Mia that Ana once knew was still the same, she was practically jumping up and down in excitement.

"Speaking of which, dinner is ready whenever you are," Ana said. Christian got everyone to the table whilst Ana plated up the food. He went in to help her carry everything out, stealing a meatball whilst he was in there and earning a playful slap from his little chef.

"This is amazing Ana," Carrick said, spinning the spaghetti on his fork and moaning at the taste of it.

"Thank you, Grace taught me everything I know in the kitchen," Ana smiled.

"Well mom taught you well Ana because this is so good," Mia agreed.

"So how is your legal firm going Mr Grey? Christian told me you've had 10 new clients just this week," Carrick smiled at her.

"Carrick please Ana," he said, "and it's going very well, we opened last year and it's already had over 200 cases and a 97% success rate so we've gotten some big clients in and a good reputation,"

"That's amazing," Ana smiled, "and Grace, did you become hospital chief? I've always been curious,"

"Yes I did," Grace said, swallowing her mouthful of food, "I was picked about 3 years ago, however, I'm hoping to retire soon from the job and just help out at the hospital so I will have to pick a new one,"

"And how is the building industry Elliot?" Ana asked. She knew it was a long shot that he'd actually engage in a conversation with her but she went out on a limb anyway.

"Fine," Elliot answered bluntly, twirling his spaghetti around his fork.

"Don't be rude Elliot," Carrick said.

"What? she disappears for 5 years after ditching my brother and I'm supposed to just bow down to her? so she's come back and suddenly is making an effort and we'll all supposed to just be fine with it? I'm not fine with it. She's just going to hurt my brother again and I won't let her hurt him anymore," Elliot said. The table was deathly quiet and Ana could tell Christian was about to say something to defend her but before he could, Ana was resting a hand gently on his arm and thinking of what she could say to her boyfriends brother. Elliot's words had hurt her but she knew that this needed to be said; anything was better than the silent treatment he had been giving her for the past 6 weeks.

"Elliot, will you come in the kitchen with me for a minute so we can talk?" Ana asked. Elliot sighed but Carrick nudged him and he reluctantly agreed. He stepped out from the table, ignoring the look that Christian was giving him and followed Ana into the kitchen. She shut the door and turned to face him.

"Ok, I know what I did, I know what you must think of me and I understand Elliot, I do. All that I'm asking is for you to give me a chance. One chance to prove to you that I love your brother and I will never hurt him again. A chance to show you that I'm not going anywhere," Ana said. "I'm sorry for what I put your family through, but I can't live in the past. I'm here, I'm trying to mend what was broken and I need to prove myself, I know I do. I hope that one day we can be close like we once were,"

"Ana, you were like a sister to me and that's why I'm struggling now. You put my family through a lot and I know you're sorry. It's going to take time,"

"I know it will, I've got time and I will do anything to make you all trust me again. Just please, can we be civil at least?" Elliot nodded.

"Yes, we can be civil,"

Dinner was finished without another bad word. Elliot even joined in with the conversation at one point. Now Ana was sat upstairs on a stool in her bedroom whilst Mia pampered her with the bag she'd brought. Ana had been shocked when Mia hauled a heavy suitcase like bag upstairs. Christian made a joke about the suitcase being full of her victims heads or 'pampering gone wrong' as he called it. He said that if Mia pulled out any scissors, Ana should call 911 straight away. Safe to say, he was shoved out of his bedroom and received another slap on the arm from his sister.

"What is actually in there?" Ana gestured to the heavy suitcase that Mia was opening.

"All of my supplies," Mia said laughing.

Now, Mia was applying eyeshadow to her lids having put Ana's hair in pin curls. Ana had always found it relaxing when someone did her hair and make up so she was happy to just sit there and let Mia go at it. She heard all sorts of containers and pots being opened and felt the brush against her skin. She was applying an awful lot of make up so Ana could only hope that Mia was skilled in that area or she was going to end up looking like a drag queen.

"So, do you think you and my brother will ever get married?" Ana's eyes popped open wide and she felt her heart beat out of her chest. She was shocked by the question but truthfully, she'd thought about it herself. She wanted to marry him, she had wanted to be his wife all her life except for the one crucial day where it could have happened. But would he even want to marry her? he'd told her on the day of their 'wedding' that she'd scared him off marriage for life and that he'd never put himself through it again.

"I... I don't know," Ana answered truthfully, still a little disorientated from the sudden question.

"Would you like to marry him?"

"Yes," Ana answered simply. She'd thought about it a few times actually; ok, maybe a lot of times. She just didn't know if it was ever going to happen. She'd had her chance and blown it. Why would he want to marry her? Mia looked at her and then tapped some power off the brush and stroked her cheek with the colour.

"Because I was thinking the other night, and I had an idea,"

"After what I did last time, Christian will never want to marry me," Ana sighed.

"But do you want to?"

"Of course I do,"

"Ok, well here's my idea. You can take it or leave it. What if _you_ proposed to _him_ ," Mia said. Ana looked up, intrigued, "hear me out. You buy a ring, I'll even help you go shopping for one and propose to him and then, so that he doesn't have long to worry about if there will be a reoccurrence of the last time, we hold a little ceremony, just us, at our house... in the garden," Ana smiled.

"It's a lovely thought Mia but I doubt your family would agree to all of that, plus, it's a little soon don't you think?"

"They would, I can help persuade them. And Ana, you've been in love with him forever, this should have been done 5 years ago, if anything, you're very late," Ana laughed.

"But why would you want to help me? especially after last time? why would you want your brother to marry me?" Ana asked. It was a serious question. This was Christian's sister, the same girl who'd reprimanded her on the wedding day, the same girl who chewed her out 6 weeks ago and here she was, coming up with a plan to get Christian to agree to marry her.

"Because I can see you regret what you did Ana. I know you love my brother and I know that his only chance of happiness is tied to you. He was miserable and you saved him. I want you both to get your happily ever after and I want us to be a family again. The best way you can prove to my brother that you're here to stay is by actions, not by words. Plus, I don't think my mom ever gave up hope that one day you and Christian might be together again, she's just hurt that it took so long." Mia explained.

"Thank you, Mia," Ana smiled. What Ana didn't know was that Mia had already told Grace about her plan. At first, Grace dismissed it but after talking with her daughter, she started to see sense in it. Christian was happy with Ana, she'd seen it in his eyes over the past 6 weeks. He'd light up whenever she came into the room, always needing to feel her close to him. To her surprise, they were exactly the same as they used to be; lovey dovey as Carrick used to call them, and that's what made her think that it was fate that they came back together. As a mother she could protect her son from many things but she couldn't choose who he fell in love with. She wanted her son to have peace with himself and she wanted him to get his happy future with Ana. She also wanted grandbabies in the near future and with Elliot's strange and slightly unconventional relationship with Kate being the only other option right now, she was willing to help. Mia promised Ana that she'd get her mother on board. Ana was sceptical but Mia just brushed it off telling her not to worry and got on with her makeover.

The Grey's left late in the afternoon. Christian had to laugh when Mia came jumping down the stairs telling everyone that she'd created a masterpiece. His sister was so eccentric and excitable about everything she did and it made him very proud of the woman she'd grown up to be. She was going to go far in the fashion business and he would support her all the way. Mia had tried to get him to help her by being her model. He'd always told her no. The only time he'd ever let her do anything to him was on her 16th birthday because his mother practically forced him to go and be her model saying he could wipe whatever she put on his face off as soon as she was done. He ended up having to run out the room after she tried to wax his eyebrows telling him that they were too bushy and needed a trim. He knew he was a handsome man and he loved Mia, but that didn't mean he was going to let his little sister make him up like a Ken doll. She had done a very good job with Ana though. His already beautiful little lady came down the stairs looking like Aphrodite herself. He loved her curly hair and the way it fell over her shoulders and swirled down the back. It was so silky soft and he found himself constantly brushing his finger through it. It was only payback though, he supposed, considering her fingers spent a good amount of time pulling fistfuls of his hair out and scratching his scalp when they were otherwise occupied.

"You look gorgeous baby, good job Mia," Christian smiled.

"Thank you," Ana said shyly.

"You really do, Ana, silver suits you," Grace agreed. Elliot and Carrick were watching the game but even they looked up and nodded when they saw Ana.

Now, she was in the kitchen tidying whilst Christian washed the dishes. Once they were all clean and the kitchen was spotless, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck gently making her giggle.

"Now Miss Steele, I think I promise you some orgasmic fun,"

"I think I remember being promised something along those lines Mr Grey," she smirked. He lifted lifted her over his shoulder, smacking her ass with the palm of his hand once. She squealed, hanging over his shoulder and laughing as he started to walk up the stairs.

"No time to waste then,"

They headed into the bedroom and he dropped her on the bed making her bounce. She laughed, smiling up at him, her blue eyes sparkling with unrepressed happiness. She was unbelievably happy and she felt lucky every single day to get a second chance to be with this gorgeous man who made her heart beat out of her chest. He was assessing her, his grey orbs moving from her ankles, up her legs and body to meet hers. He grinned, a salicious smile that made her squirm against the fire erupting within her.

"Now, you requested a spanking, am I correct?" Christian asked, pulling the comfy cotton jumper he'd been wear over his head and rolling up the sleeves on his shirt. He looked so hot right now, so commanding. The room temperature was souring and all she wanted to do was pull his pants around his ankles and suck him until he spurted down her throat. He was already hard and aroused, she could see the outline of his erection through his jeans and it made her squirm.

"Yes.. please Christian," she voice was breathy; needy.

"Come here," he whispered, his eyes making her follow him like a trance. She climbed off the bed to stand in front of him. He was so tall that she had to tilt her head right up to look at him.

"Put your arms up, my love," she did as he asked, putting her arms above her head so that he could raise her dress and pull it from her. The material fluttered to the ground creating a waft of air that chilled her senses. She watched his eyes scan her body, he moved close to her; close enough that she could feel the warm breath from his tempting mouth on her neck before he even touched her there. The tips of his fingers traced down the valley of her breasts, circling one nipple first until it became a stiff peak and then the other. Goosebumps erupted all over her heated skin and every hair on her body stood to the tune of his electric touch. His fingers traced the bottom of her belly before ducking down a little and trailing one finger along the lace of her panties. His gentle touch felt so much stronger than it was. The light pressure made her eyes roll back in her head and she could already sense how wet she was. She was always drenched when he was around; he only had to look at her and she'd all but combust on the spot.

"Do you feel that Anastasia? do you feel how slight my touch is?" he whispered, pulling her earlobe into his warm mouth. Her only response was a breathy groan as she gripped his arms tightly.

"Do you want me to move my hand underneath? do you want me to touch you baby? see how wet you are for me?" he continued to suck her earlobe as he whispered his sinful words and she couldn't even catch her breath. Her eyes had slammed shut and her whole body was on fire; burning from this man's voice alone.

"Yes... god yes," she breathed, begging him to touch her where she needed his desperately and relive the throbbing ache between her legs that only he could put out. He inched his fingers under the elastic and brushed downwards until his fingers dipped into soaking wet warmth. She was saturated, all for him and he couldn't help but smirk.

"mmm you're soaked, all for me,"

"All for you," she moaned, hissing when his middle finger tapped her swollen button. He pushed one finger into her and she immediately clenched around it like she did his cock. He kissed her neck, feeling the hot flushed that covered her body and her breathy moans. He wanted to keep her on the edge; to see how long he could play with her before she couldn't take it any longer. His finger slid in and out of her molten sex before he added another thick digit, stretching her tight muscles. Her moans grew louds and he circled her pulsing clit, adding more pressure each stroke as his finger continued their controlled ministrations, stroking the places inside her that he knew would bring her to her knees. When he felt like she was on the verge of coming, he pulled out, much to her frustration. Her skin was sweaty and flushed and her eyes glazed over in lust. He didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight.

"Not just yet," his husky voice, deep and dark caressed her ear, "I need to make your ass nice and red first," she reached out to kiss him, needing to feel his lips caressing hers to ground her but he pulled away before she could with a hint of enjoyment at her desperation.

"All in good time," he said softly, sitting on the end of the bed and patting his lap. "Come over here and lay down," she did as he asked, knowing how to rest with her ass up, her body laying sideways over his lap. He slides his hand over her back, enjoying the feel of her soft skin and the way she twitched and held her breath when he touched her. His hand cupped her wet sex and he growled when he felt how damp her panties were.

"I'm going to spank you 5 times ok? I'll make it feel good, do you trust me?" he asked, running his fingers over her pantie covered skin.

"Yes... please Christian, fuck," she groaned.

"Ok baby, count with me," he pulled the wet material over her ass and down her legs until she could kick them off her feet. His eyes feasted on her glorious ass. The way her body looked in tight dresses always amazed him. He wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her delectable ass as she sashayed around in front of him, flaunting her behind for him. He grabbed one cheek, feeling the muscle and landed a sharp smack on it.

"Fuck... one," she whimpered. Her skin burned where his hand had struck but it only spurred her on. She could feel his thick erection, hard as rock against her stomach and knew that he was just as turned on as she was, if not more so. He could smell her intoxicating scent from where he was sitting and he could think of nothing more tempting than to open her legs and feast on her delicious centre until she was begging for mercy. But first, he wanted to complete the task at hand. He pulled her hand back and landed another loud slap on the opposite cheek this time.

"Two," she breathed, closing her eyes against the stinging sensation. He rubbed over the area, the friction from his hand making her skin even hotter and brushed his fingers over her panty covered sex. His touch was light but the pleasure that erupted from just a simple brush of his fingers on her delicate flesh was felt all over her body. He delivered two more spanks in quick succession and she sucked in her breath as the sting shot through her. The final one was perfectly placed at the junction of her thighs and she moaned loudly, on the verge of coming after such stimulation.

"Shh, not yet," Christian said, rubbing over her red ass to sooth the pain. He suddenly pulled her up from his lap to straddle him and then stood up, her legs and arms wrapped around him as he carried her over to the bedroom wall, slamming her against the hard surface. She yelped, grinding her centre against his clad erection. He freed himself quickly, undoing his trousers and throwing them and his boxers to the floor before slamming into her so hard she screamed in shock at the sudden intrusion.

"Christian, please, faster," he sped up his thrusts, sucking her neck until he could see a love bite marking her skin. Her hands gripped his hair, tugging on fistfuls of wavy copper locks and scratching her nails down his back, marking him. She was so slick against him, meeting him thrust for thrust as he brought them to the edge. He moved her leg over his arm so that he could go even deeper and she gasped at the pressure sensation that his move created.

"I'm so close," she whimpered, biting down on his shoulder.

"Me too baby, come with me Ana, now," she let go with a shout of his name, pulsing as she rode out her powerful orgasm and he exploded in her only seconds later. He leaned his forehead against the wall, balancing her as he caught his breath. She stroked through his sweat matter hair, panting against his sweaty skin and swallowing to alleviate her dry throat.

"I'll run a bath and then we'll have dinner," Ana said once she'd caught her breath. Christian nodded watching her go and groaning. She was too sexy for her own good. They had a quick bath and then headed down for dinner. Later that night, after they'd finished their meal and were lounging on the sofa watching something on television, the phone rang. Christian went to answer it and came back a moment later to give it to Ana.

"It's for you,"

"Who is it?" she mouthed.

"Mia," he mouthed back, rolling his eyes.

"Hello?"

"Ana! we have some serious planning to do! I got my mom on board so I'll come by tomorrow so we can come up with something," Mia said excitedly. Ana was confused for a moment and then realised that she was talking about the engagement plan and the immediate wedding.

"Mia, how did you get Grace on board?"

"That's for me to know Ana, so tomorrow?"

"Err, sure," Ana stuttered in surprise.

"Great! have a nice night! I'll see you bright and early!" the phone went dead, Mia's excited voice no longer at the end of it and Ana held it in her hand for a moment. Why did Mia and Grace want to help _her_ to marry Christian? _maybe because they're nice people who love their son and want him to be happy_ her subconscious told her. She was excited to hear what Mia had come up with. Knowing her, even though she said it would be small, it would be an extravagant plan. Ana would do some thinking of her own and come up with some ideas. She wanted it to be perfect. She needed Christian to say yes. She hoped he would. If he did, she wouldn't let him down. She'd be the perfect bride and make him a very happy groom. If he said no, she'd accept it. She could understand why he wouldn't want to marry her and they would just be boyfriend and girlfriend for the rest of their lives. Labels didn't matter, she still loved him and wanted to have his babies and spend the rest of her life with him. It would be nice to be his wife though. That would prove that they had come out of what happened stronger and that they could survive anything. She heard Christian's footsteps coming into the bedroom and smirked. She was going to knock him off his feet.

* * *

A/N - What do you guys think of Mia's idea? thank you for your lovely messages and reviews, they make my day :)


	12. Chapter 12

**12) Rewriting the past**

3 days later

Ana had spent the last 3 days almost completely talking with Mia. It was easy to ward off Christian's suspicions by saying that they were making up for lost time and catching up. He was happy with that and left them to it. On the first morning, Ana woke up to the phone ringing. The pillow she was curled up against groaned beneath her and she burrowed closer to him.

"Ignore it," she mumbled, her eyes still closed, clutching him tighter.

"mmm, I will," there was a few moments silence and the pair were almost asleep again when the elevator dinging and there were footsteps coming into the apartment.

"Are you expecting someone?" Ana mumbled, still half asleep.

"No, I'll go see who it is, it can one of my family, no one else is on the approved list to bypass security at the desk," Ana groaned when his warmth escaped her reached and moved over to his side of the bed, breathing in his scent still attached to the pillow. Christian came back a moment later.

"It's for you," he smiled, going into the en-suite.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's me," Mia said opening the door a little and peeping her head around, making sure that the couple inside the bedroom had their clothes on. When she heard the shower going and knew her brother was in there, she walked into the room.

"Mia? what are you doing here so early?" Ana asked, looking at the clock and seeing that it was only just 8 in the morning.

"Christian's going to speak to my dad today about his business stuff so I thought we could have a day to ourselves to you know.." Mia trailed off, looking at the bathroom door to make sure Christian couldn't be listening in. All she could hear was the shower running and him singing a Michael Jackson song very badly so continued, "plan," she whispered. Ana rubbed her hands over her face to wake herself. Everything came flooding back to her; the planning, Christian's meeting with his father that he'd told her all about last night.

"God Mia, I'm so sorry, if I'd have known you were coming so early I'd have been up or I'd have come and met you," she said, getting out of bed. She was wearing Christian's large T-shirt but pulled on a pair of sleep shorts anyway.

"Do you want some breakfast? I'll make some for Christian too if he's got to leave soon,"

"Sure, we have the whole day," Mia smiled. "I always get up early so I just thought I'd head here rather than wake everyone up at my house,"

"Did you tell Grace?"

"Yes, I told her last night when we were discussing it. She's on board, don't worry," Ana nodded.

"I can't thank you enough Mia, for giving me another chance and for helping me," Mia smiled.

"You're a good person Ana, you made a mistake but you're trying to make amends and I appreciate that." Ana grinned. They were sat in the kitchen talking about Mia's work on models in the past whilst Ana cooked. She was showing her a picture on her phone of something she'd done for one of the local, high end beauty parlours where she'd designed the outfit for a model and done the make up to match. Ana was impressed; she'd never had an fashion sense, preferring to pick plain and simple over anything remotely fashionable so she admired Mia's willingness to take risks with the colours.

"Good morning ladies," Christian said, coming through the door. Ana turned to wish him a good morning but the words died in her throat when she saw him. He was wearing a suit. A black, well fitted suit with a tie around his neck waiting to be knotted. He looked striking.

"Wipe the drool off your mouth Ana," Mia smirked. Ana couldn't take her eyes off him though. He smiled and came closer. He felt a great sense of pride at the look on her face. It was nice to know it could get such a reaction out of her by simply wearing a suit.

"Good morning my love," he said, kissing her forehead. Was his voice deeper and sexier or was it just her imagination?

"Morning, you look gorgeous," she whispered, running her fingers over the lapel of the dark material.

"Thank you sweetheart, I need to look smart today to show my dad how serious I am,"

"God, will you wear a suit everyday if you open up this company? because if you do I don't think I will survive it," Christian chuckled and leaned down to kiss her. She tried to deepen it but knowing that they had curious eyes watching them, he kept it to a playful peck.

"Yes, I will wear a suit everyday, especially if it gets this reaction out of you, my pretty lady," he winked. After picked her jaw off the flaw and gaining some composure, Ana tied Christian's tie around his neck and flattened his collar. He poured himself some coffee and sat down at the table in the kitchen for a moment to eat his bacon on toast. Once he was finished, he put his plate in the sink.

"Right, I will see you ladies later, have fun," he said, leaning over to kiss Mia's cheek. He then took Ana in his arms and placed kisses all over her face making her giggle before giving her a scorching kiss. She was thoroughly speechless by the end of it.

"I love you, be good baby," he said, giving her another small kiss.

"I love you too, good luck," she shouted after him as he went into the elevator.

"Thank you!" he called, grinning at her before the doors shut.

"You two are so mushy, god, I thought you'd have grown out of that," Mia said, pulling a grimace.

"I don't think we'll ever grow out of it," Ana admitted with a smile, "now, where would you like us to begin?"

Over the next few hours, collectively, they devised a plan. Ana decided that she wanted to propose without an audience. She wanted it to just be them, no pressure and no expectations. She wanted to be able to say exactly how she felt about him, exactly why she wanted to marry him and that required privacy. Mia was a little unhappy about that, wanting to witness the proposal, but in the end, she agreed as well. They decided that Ana would take Christian out for a meal and then, she'd find a secluded area where she could propose to him with no prying eyes.

Whilst they were out, Mia, Grace, Kate (who Mia had told and was coming ring shopping tomorrow with them) and Carrick (who hadn't been told yet) were going to make the garden into a little ceremony with a makeshift Isle and alter. Grace was good friends with a certified vicar who owed her a favour and would be able to oversee the marriage. Ana would make sure Christian was wearing a suit of some kind out to dinner and she'd wear a white dress. Mia would pick up the wedding rings that she was choosing tomorrow without Christian's knowledge and she hoped that she could persuade Elliot to play some part in the wedding, although that was a long shot. Christian came home that night telling Ana that the meeting had gone well. He'd given Carrick all of his paperwork to look over and was just waiting for an answer.

The next day, Ana jumped out of bed bright and early much to Christian's dismay.

"What are you doing baby, come back to bed?" he groaned, opening one eye to watch her.

"I can't, I have to go and meet Mia and Kate," Ana said looking at him from the side of the bed.

"What? it's 8.30? why are you meeting them so early?"

"We're going for breakfast before hand," Ana answered, "so get your cute but out of bed and come shower with me before I go, I think we need to get a little dirty before we get clean," Ana winked. Safe to say that woke Christian up, and he was out of bed, throwing her giggling body over his shoulder within a few short seconds. They pulled off their remaining clothes and stepping under the hot spray.

"Hmm, I don't think you're dirty enough yet Miss Steele," he growled, kissing her wet skin, his hands trailing patterns up and down her stomach.

"I agree Mr Grey, what are you going to do about it?" she teased. He gripped her hips and pushed her into the wall as she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

"I'm going to make you very dirty indeed," he growled, before pushing his throbbing morning wood deep inside her with a grunt.

By 9.30, she was ready. Her hair was in a bun, her skin dewy from tinted moisturiser but other than that bare, knowing that Mia wanted to do her make up again at some point today for practice. She went downstairs and saw Christian eating some cereal wearing just a pair of boxers.

"Oh baby, before I forget, I got you something," Christian said, putting his spoon down and pointing to a box on the table. Ana went over puzzled.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Christian,"

"I'll buy you a hell of a lot more when this business takes off, you'll be swimming in diamonds," he winked and she laughed. She ripped open the box and looked inside to see a brand new phone.

"I know you don't have a mobile, and this phone just came on the market, I got one myself and programmed yours the same way. It's got everyone number in it," he said, holding up the first series IPhone which had just hit the shelves a few week prior. After fiddling with the phone for a little while she finally worked out how she used it. She thanked Christian and tried out sending a message to his phone. It had been so long since she'd had a mobile, she hadn't needed one in Goa and now they had created touch screen machines that could fit in your pocket and that you could go on the internet on!

"This is amazing!" Ana giggled.

"It's 2007 baby, technology is changing," Christian said, chuckling at her enthusiasm.

"Also, breakfast is on me today," Christian smiled, pulling a crisp $20 bill from his wallet.

"No Christian, I want to pay for my breakfast, you've already given me this phone and I have Jose's money to spend,"

"Please Ana, if I can't be with you today, I at least want to treat you," she couldn't resist him so took the money and gave him a kiss in return.

"What are you going to do today without me?" she asked, pulling on her jacket.

"I guess Me and El will go and play some golf, it's been a while," Christian said.

"Ok, I'll see you later on then," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

"Keep in touch baby," he said, waving his phone at her. She smiled and nodded before heading out. She texted Kate and Mia on her new device saying that she'd be a few minutes late. She didn't even make it to the elevator before Christian had called her back, stood in his boxers in the hallway.

"Wait, how are you getting there?" Christian asked.

"I was just going to walk, I told Kate I didn't need a lift and her and Mia are already at the mall,"

"I'll give you a lift baby, just give me a minute to put something on," She smiled at him gratefully, truthfully she wasn't particularly looking forward to the long walk. They headed out and Ana jumped into the passenger side of the car.

"I think I'll have to teach you how to drive, or maybe we can get a personal driver when my company starts making mega bucks," Christian winked. Ana laughed.

"Yeah, I would like to learn how to drive, although, last time you tried to teach me we didn't get very far," Ana said, remembering how frustrated they got with each other when she turned 18 and decided that she wanted to learn to drive. Safe to say, she nearly crashed the car and they argued the entire 'lesson'. She said at the time that she was going to get lessons from a professional instructor but she never got around to it.

"We can always give it another try," he said. he dropped her outside the mall and she thanked him with a kiss before running off inside. She found Mia and Kate sitting in a coffee shop waiting for her.

"Sorry I'm late, I woke up early but lost track of time," Kate and Mia gave her a knowing look and she rolled her eyes.

"So we've been sat here waiting whilst you and my brother were ... having a morning quickie?" Mia asked bluntly. Kate laughed and Ana blushed.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to cool her flushed cheeks and quickly sitting down.

"It's fine, I'm only joking, right, we have a plan, we're going to pick the rings and then Elliot is picking us up. I told him about what was happening and he said he wants to talk to you," Ana knew this was coming. She wanted to be the one to tell Elliot herself but she'd been terrified of what his reaction would be. She knew he wouldn't be happy but it was happening. Some people would think it was too soon but this was the man she'd been destined to marry since they were 5 years old. She couldn't wait any longer.

"Ok, let's go then," Mia lead them to a ring store in the mall. She'd called ahead and booked an appointment.

"Hello, name please?" the elderly man behind the counter asked. He was inspecting the diamonds in one of his rings with a magnifying glass and a light.

"Hi, it's under Grey," Mia said.

"Perfect, follow me please," the man lead the three girl into a room at the back which was covered in boxes.

"Now, what can I do for you today?"

"Well, I want to propose to my ... boyfriend, so I need something to propose to him with and also, I need to order a ring for myself and a wedding band for him," Ana said.

"Wow, I've never had a woman come into my store before saying _she_ wanted to propose. I must say, it's quite refreshing, what's your budget?" the man asked.

"Well I...

"She doesn't have one," Mia said. Ana looked at her puzzled.

"If you pay what you can, we'll cover the rest and we'll get Christian to put some money in after the wedding," Mia explained.

"Thank you," Ana smiled, genuinely.

"Perfect, ok, let's see. Do you want to propose to your boyfriend with a traditional ring? I'm not sure I've got any male engagement rings and I don't think you'll want to give him 2 bands," the man said, standing up and looking around his drawers of rings.

"What would you suggest then? I can't exactly propose empty handed," Ana said.

"Well, some couples who are on a small budget or who don't believe in the tradition of giving a ring buy their partner a band and get it engraved,"

"A band?" Ana asked, puzzled.

"Like a silver bracelet, I'll see if I can find one, we're one of the only ring stores who stock these," the man said, walking over to a cabinet and searching. Ana looked at Kate who looked as confused as she was. "Here it is," the man walked back over with the silver bracelet. It was unique; something that they would remember forever. Smiling, Ana took the band in her hand and looked it over. It would be perfect. Digging in her pocket she pulled out the special item that she'd gotten out of her memory box that morning; her old engagement ring. She put it in the palm of her hand and slipped it on.

"Is that what I think it is?" Mia asked, eyes wide and mouth open like a fish, Kate had a similar expression.

"It's the engagement ring Christian gave me almost 7 years ago," she answered.

"But... I thought you gave it back to him?" Kate said.

"I did, but he didn't want it, so I kept it in my memory box," she put her engagement ring next to the band and smiled. They almost matched and she knew that this was the perfect way to propose to him.

"That's a beautiful ring, Miss, may I see it?" the ring store owner asked.

"Of course," she slipped it off and handed it to the owner. He looked at it for a moment, pulling his magnifying glass out and inspecting the detail.

"Yes, I thought I recognised this one. A young man came in here saying he needed something unique and beautiful to win over his girlfriend. This ring is one of a kind. In fact, I was the one who engraved it," the man smiled, read the inscription that Ana knew by heart; _My love, my more, My life, forever._

"That's amazing, I hadn't realised he came here," Ana replied.

"I did, that's why I brought us here," Mia said, a smug smile on her face.

The band came to $90, it was a small price for something so important but Ana wanted it to be unique. She found Christian a ring and also, a wedding ring for herself which she loved, which was actually in the sale part of the store. Mia had pulled a face when she picked up the gorgeous ring but she loved it. It was clearly an antique and the wear and tear attached only made it all the more enticing. It was simple stunning.

"What's wrong with it?" Ana asked the store owned.

"It's chipped and old, everyone wants new rings now a days, calved just for them. They don't want a ring with a past and a story sadly," the man replied.

"It's beautiful, I'll take it." All in all, Ana was able to buy everything herself, without needing financial assistance from Mia.

"You do realise that the second Christian sees that ring after the wedding, he's going to march down to Cartier and buy you the most expensive and beautiful one he can find with the largest diamond," Mia said, "especially since he's going to be such a successful business man,"

"If he does, he does, but I love this ring,"

They thanked and paid the man before leaving the store. Ana took her engagement ring off again and put it in her pocket. She decided that she was going to ask him to put it back on her finger when she proposed to him. Mia called Elliot who was out front whilst Ana replied to Christian's text.

 _Elliot's busy so can't hang out with him, going to my parents, tell me when you're home, love you - C x_

 _Home soon, love you too - A x_

"Hello ladies," Elliot said, standing in front of the car. Kate raced up to him to give him a kiss. Ana hadn't even know that they were 'back on'.

"It happened yesterday," Mia whispered to her seeing the confusion on her face, "Elliot went to her house to apologize for being such a dick," Ana laughed.

"Right, I want to have a word with Ana and then I'll take you all to your respective homes, apart from Kate, you're coming home with me baby," he winked at her. Elliot lead Ana a few meters away from Mia and Kate.

"Look, Ana, I know you're making an effort but don't you think it's a little soon for you to be getting married to Christian? I mean, you've been back 5 minutes," he said, his hands on his hips.

"No, Elliot, I don't. I love your brother and I want to do what I should have done 5 years ago. I want to be his wife and I don't want to wait. We've spent too long waiting without each other," Ana answered honestly.

"Ana," Elliot sighed.

"El, I want you to be part of the wedding, but if you can't support me on this, I understand. I realise that it will take time but I need to do this. For me and for Christian. I've spent too long without him, too long letting the guilt eat away at me. This is one thing that I can put right, one major mistake in my life that I can correct now, even if it is a little late. I want to do this for him. I need to do this,"

"I will be part of this plan, under one condition," Elliot said.

"What's that?"

"I never ever want to see my brother that broken ever again. I can do second chances Ana, but there won't be a third,"

"I understand, thank you Elliot," she saw a small smile on his face and smiled back slightly. Hopefully this was the start of them getting along.

"Will you be the ring bearer? I mean, as well as Christian's best man,"

"Yes, I will, where are the rings?"

"Mia?! will you bring the ring box over?" she called. Mia handed the box to Ana who gave it to Elliot.

"I'll keep it safe,"

They got in the car and Elliot dropped Ana home. She thanked all of them and then walked into the elevator and went up to the apartment. She'd texted Christian saying she was on her way back whilst in the car so she hoped he'd be home soon. She heard the elevator ding 20 minutes later and she looked up and smiled as she saw him.

"Hey baby, how was your day with the girls?" he asked, hanging up his jacket and coming to sit beside her, where she was reading on the couch.

"It was fun, we ate and did some shopping. How was your day?" she asked, snuggling into his warm arms. She'd missed him all day.

"Good, my dad and I had a good talk about my business plan, he said he wants to organise a meeting next week and Ros said she'd get involved and come to the meeting next week too so that was good,"

"Great," she kissed his cheek, "what time is it?" she asked him.

"4.30,"

"Well, I'm starving, do you think we can order something in?" she asked.

"Sure baby, I'll go order something now and we'll spend the evening in together," Christian smiled, getting up to grab his phone from where he'd left it on the counter.

The next morning, Ana received a text from Mia telling her to meet her at the Grey's house. Ana audibly gulped at the thought of seeing Grace. Although she seemed to have support over the idea of a surprise wedding, she knew that there was still a level of animosity against her, even if things were simmering. She had breakfast with Christian before telling him that his mother had invited her over to see her and his sister. Christian was delighted and dropped her off there telling her he'd pick her up later.

"Can we have the day to ourselves tomorrow? I want us to have a day for ourselves," he said, as they reached the driveway.

"I'd like that," she smiled. She leaned over to land a few quick pecks on his lips but that wasn't enough for Christian. He held her in place and kissed her so passionately that she forgot everything that had been running through her mind the last few days. She clutched at his hair, crunching the silky strands in her fists as she opened her mouth to his delicious intrusion. This went on for a few minutes, neither of them remembering where they were and only stopped when there was a frustrated knock on the window and a pissed Mia standing outside the car. He wound down the window, smiling at his little sister's pouting face.

"Can I help you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at his little sister.

"Break it up love birds, I want to do Ana's make up," she said. Christian laughed.

"I'm coming Mia," Ana said, stroking Christian's cheek before opening the door and heading out. With a wave, Christian drove away leaving the girls alone. Mia jumped up and down excitedly once Christian had gone, clutching Ana's arm and then pulling her inside. Ana couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. She lead her into the kitchen and that's when Ana saw Grace. Over the last 6 weeks, they'd made light conversation and seemed to be on friendly terms but it had still been a little awkward. That's why Ana was so surprised when Grace smiled brightly at her, almost beaming and beckoned the girls into the kitchen.

"Hi Ana," she said.

"Hi Grace,"

"We have so much to do," she seemed so cheerful and Ana smiled at her. Was she that happy about the wedding? she'd been sure that Grace would be sceptical, interrogating her motives but she seemed carefree and happy.

"Yes we do! Ana, mom says that we can do the wedding and proposal and everything next Saturday," Ana frowned.

"But that's only a week away!" Ana fretted. It had taken over half a year to plan and coordinated the first wedding, how the hell were they going to do this one in a week.

"Yes but it's only us, all we need is a makeshift Isle, I'll sort the alter, I already have a priest lined up, my good friend reverend John, I'll make the food and a nice cake with Mia's help. Mia says that you've got a perfect white dress to wear and Christian will be wearing a nice suit. Carrick is getting some decorations, I've given him that as his job to do and Elliot now has the rings doesn't he? so it should all be fine," Grace explained.

"I've made a checklist and I think we have everything," Mia said, pulling a notepad out from one of the drawers in the kitchen.

"Perfect, thank you so much for being on board with this Grace, it means so much to me. I won't let you down or give you any cause to doubt me every again," Ana said sincerely.

"I just want my son to be happy Ana, and I need to give you a fair chance." Ana nodded and smiled.

"Is your dad going to come Ana?" Mia asked. Ana sighed. She'd tried to reach her dad for the last few days but hadn't been able to connect to him. She'd left him a message asking him to call her but he hadn't as of yet. She wasn't too worried, this happed quite a lot because of the area he was working in but it still hurt that he might not receive the message by the time of the make shift wedding.

"I'm not sure, I've called him but he hasn't called me back yet, he never has reception where he's working so fingers crossed he'll call me soon," Ana sighed. She missed hearing her dad voice. So much had happened that she wanted to tell him about.

"I'm sure he will," Grace said, smiling gently, "now, how about we have a little food prep to see what we want? I'm inviting the neighbors and some famiy and friends to a little after party afterwards so we need something to serve them,"

"I'll sort that Grace, you're doing enough,"

"Nonsense, I love cooking and having less hours at the hospital lately has made me restless,"

They spent the afternoon helping Grace make some tester foods and then trying them. Of course, everything tasted delicious. That afternoon, she felt closer to both Mia and Grace. They laughed with each other and for the first time since Ana had been back, she felt like she was on the right track to building bridges.

* * *

 _Saturday morning_

Ana woke up early, curled up in Christian's arms. He was her personal furnace and sometimes she had to kick the covers off because she got so hot in the night but she loved it. She loved the fact that he sought her out to hold onto in the night and she loved how tightly he held her; like he never ever wanted to let her go again. She turned in his arms to find him still fast asleep. It was usually him that woke up first and she had occasionally opened her eyes to find a soft smile and gentle grey eyes looking back at her, watching her as she slept. She didn't understand why he did it before but now, looking at his beautiful face, so calm and content in sleep with a slight smile lurking on his lips, she knew why he did it.

She didn't want to wake him when he looked so peaceful but one look at the clock told her she had to. Christian had a meeting with another potential investor who wanted to be in partnership with him. His dad was also helping him with his start up after granting him the loan. She hadn't asked how much the loan was for, not wanting to know, but she knew that it was a huge sum of money. Ana had been thinking over the last week that she wanted to get a job again. She hadn't brought it up to Christian yet and she knew when she did he'd have a hissy fit. Before, when she'd had a job, it displeased Christian greatly. He wanted to provide everything for her and didn't like the fact that she was forced to work to keep a roof over their heads.

He'd always told her that as soon as he could afford it, she would never have to work again. Now, she knew that his new venture would be a success, how could it not be with her smart Christian running it? but she did want to have at least a part time job. The money she got from Jose for the house and the farm was all she had and although Christian kept giving her money and treating her, she didn't want to be the 'successful billionaires wife who spends her day at the beauty parlour or sitting at home twiddling her thumbs and getting waited on hand and foot'.

She stroked a finger down his cheek and his eyelids fluttered. He gave her a soft smile, his eyes bright and pulled her closer to him.

"Mm, good morning," he mumbled, his voice husky with sleep.

"Good morning to you too," She kissed him softly but didn't allow him to deepen the kiss.

"I want a proper kiss Miss Steele,"

"Well Mr Grey, we both know what will happen if we start kissing and today is an important day for you," she concealed her smile. He didn't know just how important this day would be yet.

"Fine, I guess I'll get up," he said, pouting playfully at her as he stood up butt naked. Ana couldn't help but feast her eyes on the gorgeous man in front of her and he smirked at her gaze.

"Are you sure I can't tempt you into some shower action?" he asked, gesturing to the bathroom. She scowled at him, knowing that he'd used his beauty as a distraction. She was now wet, and not very happy about it knowing how much she had to do today.

"Fine," she grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the room shutting the door, him laughing all the way.

After Christian was dressed in his grey suit and tie, he walked downstairs to see his little lady making breakfast for them both, wearing only one of his old, worn shirts and a pair of panties which came down to his knees. How was he supposed to resist her when she looked so beautiful? He moved towards her and curled his arms around her waist, kissing her neck and breathing in the smell of fresh flowers from her shampoo. She handed him his plate and he thanked her with a kiss and a quick smack on the behind.

"By the way, I'm taking you out later," Ana said. Christian raised his eyebrows at her and she had to use all of her inner strength and some pretty fantastic acting to make her face unreadable.

"You're taking me out? and what have I done to deserve a date Miss Steele?" she giggled.

"Can't a girl take her very handsome boyfriend out after what she's sure will be a successful day for him?" she asked, innocently biting her toast.

"Of course she can, although, I'm not too sure what time I'm going to be finishing today," Christian said, polishing off the rest of his breakfast and sitting back in his chair facing her.

"That's ok, just text me say, an hour or so before you know you'll be finishing and I'll text you which restaurant to meet me at," she winked.

"This is all very planned Miss Steele, show I be worried?" he asked. She stood up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and rubbing her nose against his with a smile.

"Never," she kissed him fast and then pulled away before he could deepen it and he growled.

"You better believe that I'll be fucking you raw later, baby,"

"I count on it," she giggled knowing how their night would end.

After Christian had left for the day, Ana opened her phone to see two texts from Mia asking what time she was coming over. Ana replied saying that she'd be there in 30 minutes before rushing upstairs to get ready for the day, making sure to remember her white dress and heals as well as her engagement ring. She called Kate who told her she was on her way to the Grey's to meet Elliot and that they could pick her up on the way.

"Are you nervous?" Kate asked once Ana climbed into the car.

"A little, but I'm feeling more excited than nervous,"

"Everyone's so excited Ana, this is big; huge!"

"I know, I love him so much Kate,"

"I know you do Ana, and I know that he's going to say yes,"

They pulled up outside and Ana was practically dragged out of the car by a very insistent Mia.

"Ana! this is going to be the best day ever! the garden looks beautiful, those planners you hired did such a great job and mom has made the cake, it's amazing! come on..." Ana was dragged inside and greeted by Grace who immediately pulled her into a hug.

"Ana sweetheart, everythings coming together perfectly. You're going to make my son so happy today, we can finally put the past behind us," she whispered and Ana found herself getting a little choked up. Grace's hug and her kind words send a wave of emotion over her and she held on tight to the woman who was like a mother to her.

"I'd like that Grace, I can't wait to be Christian's wife and put the past to bed," Grace smiled, her eyes gleaming with happiness and practically skipped into the kitchen with Ana following her.

"Oh Grace," Ana exclaimed, putting a hand over her face when she saw the beautiful two tier cake that had been created with decrotive white icing creating a delicate pattern along the sides and a bride and groom figurine on the top, "Oh it's so beautiful, I love it, thank you so much," Ana cried out, moving to hug Grace again.

"It was my pleasure dear, now, I need to sort out all this food," Grace pointed to the pile of catered food that had been brought over to mix in with Grace's home made food for the guests coming later on.

"I'll do that Grace, you've done so much and I've barely done anything," Ana sighed, feeling guilty.

"Nonsense, you've done loads! you organised the garden, sorted out the rings and the dress, booked the restaurant... do I need to go on? I like cooking Ana and I'm very excited about this home made wedding so I'd be happy to do it. Plus, Mia is dying to show you make up ideas for later on," Grace said with a roll of her eyes. Ana smiled and turned to see Mia in the doorway.

"Come on Ana!" she said, grabbing her hand.

It wasn't until 5pm that Christian texted Ana telling her he'd be an hour or so and couldn't wait to see her. With a giddy excitement bubbling inside her, she texted him the restaurant she wanted him to meet her at. She'd done her research and found the perfect place; it was called ' _The Mansion'_ and every review said it was amazing. However, the food wasn't what sold her on the place, it was the garden outside the place. It was used for 'summer lunches' when it was too hot to eat inside the establishment, but customers could use it to walk off their dinner if they liked. She found the gardens to be the perfect place for her proposal.

Mia came to do her make up; her hair already styled from earlier that day. Ana wouldn't have usually gone to so much effort with wanting make up and hair to be perfect but... this was her wedding day. She wanted to get photos and remember this day for the rest of her life. She wanted to be able to show her children the smiles on their faces as they walked down the isle after saying 'I do'. So with that, Mia went to work, cursing the fact that she only had 45 minutes to create perfection. She did it though, with 5 minutes to spare. Ana thanked her profusely and was instantly glad that Mia used waterproof mascara, knowing that she'd be crying a lot today. With a last 'good luck' from Grace, Carrick and Elliot who had returned from whatever they were doing, Ana left to meet her future husband with Kate.

"You look gorgeous babe, he's going to be blown off his feet and he'll probably tackle you to the floor once he's said yes, I know how you two are," She said with a knowing look, pulling into 'The mansion's' car park.

"I hope he says 'yes', Kate,"

"I know he will Ana, now go, you've got this! I'll see you later," she winked. Ana opened the door and got out, heading to the front of the restaurant to wait for her boyfriend. Her heart was beating out of her chest as a sudden fleet of nerves came upon her. _What if he says no?_ she knew inside her heart that he wouldn't. But there was a small part of her that told her that he would never marry her after what she did last time and she couldn't expect him to. She'd still love him if he said no, of course she would, but she would be a little heartbroken. She sensed him before she even saw him and smiled at how connected they were.

"Why hello there... wow," she turned to see her boyfriend looking stunned as he took in her beauty in her white dress. She hoped for a reaction like this and grinned at him. He couldn't take his eyes off her and felt his cock swell in his pants; his hard member smashing against the zipper.

"Hi," she smiled, her eyes twinkling like a thousand stars as she looked at him.

"Hello to you too, you look incredible," he breathed, still raking his eyes over her. Ana smiled and walked up to him, taking his large hand in hers and squeezing it lightly.

"As much as I love the look on your face and would love to do something about this," she whispered, brushing the hardness in his trousers, "I think maybe we should go inside first and eat. I'm hungry and we'll need lots of energy for later," Ana winked. Christian followed her blindly, holding the door as they walked into the restaurant not quite sure how he was going to survive dinner with this angel looking so tantalising in white.

They were sat near the back of the restaurant but to Christian's displeasure, there _were_ people around, largely servers and other customers. Ana was talking to him but he couldn't stop looking at her dress. She rarely wore white and it brought back memories. He knew she probably didn't do it intentionally but it made him think of their wedding day. The only time he'd gotten to see her dress was when she was begging him to go back into the church and marry her after she jilted him. He'd always dreamed of what their wedding night would have been like. He'd have been able to peel her white dress from her skin, worship her and then enter the place that only he had ever been and make her scream for him; his wife.

"Christian?" Ana's voice woke him from his fantasy and he shot his head around to look at her.

"Sorry, I was lost in my own head," Christian smiled sheepishly.

"What were you thinking about? did today go to plan?" Ana asked, eating the last few bites of her lasagne. He'd barely touched his burger faning stress when really, he was thinking of all the ways he could fuck her right now; on the table, in the toilets, maybe if he slid around a little he could push her dress up and ...

"Honey?" Ana's face was confused as she looked at him.

"I'm sorry, you just... you look so beautiful and I can't wait to get you home," he said hoarsely. Ana gulped, suddenly wishing that they could fix the ache between her legs for him right now. But she had a plan and she was sure he'd find the wait worthwhile when he found out what was happening.

"We have all night Christian," Ana smiled, "now, eat up,"

They left the restaurant after arguing about who would pay the bill. Ana won and Christian let her pay stating that he would buy her every single meal she ate for the next year after this. Ana giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist as they walked out of the place.

"Now," Christian said, pushing her lightly against the wall outside, "I need you," she could feel his arousal against her hip and his warm breath on her skin. She closed her eyes for a moment and pushed her fingers into his hair as his fingers explored the outside of her dress. Only when his fingers started to inch up the skirt did she gain some composure and push him lightly off.

"I need you too Christian, but I want us to take a walk first around here, it's one of the things that sold me on this restaurant," Christian took a deep breath and adjusted himself in his suit trousers before intertwining their hands. He was desperate to make love to her but he would also do anything for her and so he followed her across the paving stones outside the restaurant. She lead him around the back of the restaurant and through a gate to a large field. It was dark and the moonlight made the dew on the grass shimmer. She could see that there was no one on the grounds; clearly no one wanted to enjoy the beautiful scenery at night. She moved her hand to clutch his arm as they walked.

"It's beautiful out here," Christian said, "it would be nice to come back again," Ana smiled.

"I agree," she felt herself getting a mix of excitement and nervousness when she thought of what she was about to do. She did a mental checklist in her mind. Christian's wedding band; check. Engagement ring; check. Some beautiful scenery; check. Christian; check. This was it. Ana squeezed Christian's arm and he turned to face her. They were a quite far into the beautiful gardens and she could see fairy lights twinkling on the tree's and bushes which lit up the garden. It was perfect, everything was perfect; all she needed was a 'yes'.

"Christian?" she asked, her voice a little shakey.

"Yes baby?" he smiled down at her, his eyes bright and happy.

"Will you close your eyes for a moment?" she asked. He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Close my eyes?"

"Yes, just close your eyes and keep them closed until I say," she whispered. He was still confused, that much was evident on his face, but he did as she asked and closed his eyes. She watched him for a moment and then dug into her purse to pull out her engagement ring and his wedding band. She'd put her ring in her other hand to give to him if he said 'yes' to put back on her finger where it belonged. She'd also had the wedding band engraved;

 _Forever yours and always loving you - A x._

She moved her dress out of the way so that it didn't get stained by the grass and softly knelt on one knee, holding up the band in both hands. She looked up at him; eyes still closed with a soft smile on his face, and was suddenly overcome with nerves. What if he said no? what if that gorgeous smile on his face dropped when he saw what she was about to do and he walked away from her? what if their second wedding was never meant to be? she took a deep breath, trying to clear her negative thoughts and with a voice no more than a whisper, she asked him to open his eyes.

Christian did as she asked and his legs almost gave way beneath him. There she was, his beautiful Ana in a white dress on one knee in front of him holding something that looked like a metal bracelet in her hand. His heart was going a million miles an hour; his head swimming with thoughts and his whole body felt shaky like he could fall at any moment and shatter like a wall of glass.

He had to remind himself to breath as he looked at her. She hadn't said a word, only her eyes spoke for her and they were asking him if he was alright. He steadied himself from the initial shock and looked into blue pools of worry; elation and surprise was now evident in his eyes and she relaxed a little. She smiled softly at him and the corner of his mouth lifted slightly; he didn't blink, he just waited for her to begin with what she had planned. Ana swallowed sharply. She'd seen a hint of encouragement in his eyes and the small smile on his face willed her on to continue with her plan. The air was suddenly a lot colder and she shivered as vulnerability clouded her. But the light in his eyes surged her heart into saying what she wanted to say to him.

"I love you Christian," she said softly, "In fact, those 3 words don't equate how deeply I feel for you. There _are_ no words to describe how much I love you and need you and want you. For 5 years I was alive but barely living. For 5 years I tortured myself with the thought that you'd never know how much I truly loved you and will always love you. It's not enough for me to tell you that you make my heart beat and my lungs breath. You're quite simply, my world; my everything and I adore you. You're all that I think about; all that I dream about and that will never change. There will never be anyone else and I promise, I will do everything I can to make you happy and show my love to you every single day. So, Christian Grey; my love. Will you do me the honour of becoming my husband? will you allow me a second chance; allow us a second chance, to live happily ever after like we were always meant to?" by the end of her speech there were no words left, only tears from both parties. Christian was looking down on her with such adoration and Ana was looking up at him, her soul bare for him to see. Every fear he had about marriage and about the future vanished with her words and her gesture. She loved him so much that she had proposed to him; she loved him so much that she had laid herself bare and it was only right that he gave her an answer.

"Yes, yes I will marry you." He said through his tears, leaning down to pick her up and spinning her in his arms, crushing her to his chest. She giggled in relief, her vision blinded by tears as she hugged him so close she could hardly breath. "I love you," he said, his lips touching the shell of her ear.

"I love you too, so much," he set her down, still holding her tight until she reached up to kiss him softly.

"Hold your wrist out," she whispered against his lips. He did as she asked and looked down in time to see her placing a silver band on him.

"What's this love?" he asked, wiping his eyes and then inspecting the silver that had been placed upon him.

"Well, Mia, Kate and I went to a jewellers in the mall and he said that he'd never had a woman proposing to a man before. He said that instead of an engagement ring which would look just like your wedding ring, I should get you one of these. I had it engraved too," Christian looked under the band at the enscription and felt his heart jump in his chest. "He also said that you'd bought my engagement ring from there 5 years ago," Christian's eyes shot to hers in surprise, "he said it was a unique piece and well..." she opened her other hand and showed her engagement ring to him. He looked at it as though it was the finest diamond.

"I was hoping that you'd do me the honour of allowing me to wear this ring again," he held out his hand and she placed the ring into his open palm. He studied it for a moment and then looked at her glistening eyes.

"Do you know what I asked the jeweller when I went inside the store that day?" he asked. She shook her head.

"I asked him if he had any rings that would show how much I loved you without a single word. I had planned the speech I gave you, but I wanted you to be able to look at the ring when you were sad or stressed and I wasn't there to say the words myself. And the sentiments behind the ring have never changed because I love you Ana and nothing could ever stop me," she breathed in shakily, tears spilling down her cheeks and he took her hand in his and pushed the beautiful ring onto her finger before bringing it to his lips and kissing it, "this stays here, forever now," he said.

"Forever," she breathed. She wound her arms around his neck and he moved his head to latch his lips to hers. Everything was poured into the kiss; relief, longing and above all, the love they felt for each other. There was no one around and they were in their own little bubble, attached to each other in every possible way.

"I have another surprise for you but it isn't here," Ana smiled when they pulled apart.

"You're spoiling Miss Steele," Ana smirked, knowing that he wouldn't be able to call her that name for very long.

"I just hope you like it,"

"I like anything to do with you, where is this surprise?" Christian asked, beaming with happiness. She took his hand and they walked to his shiny car.

"Drive us to your parents please, Mr Grey?" he looked at her puzzled, turning on the engine and she winked at him.

"It's time for your next surprise," she giggled before pulled out her phone quickly.

 _'It's show time x'_

* * *

A/N - So, a few readers were unsure about Mia's idea but I hope I did it justice. I was going to make this chapter into two parts but I couldn't find the right place to split it so that's why it is so long. Next up - the wedding!


	13. Chapter 13

**13) The start of the future**

Ana texted Mia to tell her they were on their way back and beamed at the man next to her, looking so sexy as he drove through the dimly lit streets to his parents house; trusting her blindly.

"Should I be concerned about this surprise Ana? I already nearly fainted when I saw you down on one knee," Ana giggled, reaching over to place a hand on his thigh.

"No need to be worried, I just hope you like it," she grinned.

They continued to weave through the traffic and Ana couldn't help the smile that was splitting her face. This was it. Her life had been leading up to this moment. Suddenly, every broken moment; every of longing and hopelessness didn't matter anymore. He was here, he was her fiancé and he was now, going to finally become her husband. She couldn't wait to see his face. She just hoped that this would help them to start erasing the past. A perfect wedding and his family; their family awaited them.

There was only one person missing who she wanted to be there. Ray. She'd called him everyday since the first unanswered phone call but he hadn't responded. She was worried for sure but she knew he would be fine. She'd gone months without hearing a word from him because of the awful signal. She was mainly saddened that he wouldn't be there for her big day. She could imagine his smile and how happy he'd be when he found out she was marrying Christian. He'd probably give her future husband a bear hug as soon as he saw him. Christian was the only person Ray would _ever_ trust his baby girl with.

"We're here baby," Christian's voice broke her free from her thoughts and she saw the lighting at the end of the drive at the Grey's mansion. She quickly text Mia and Kate saying 'We're here' before looking at Christian who was parking the car in his designated spot at the end of the driveway. He went to get out but she stopped him by grabbing his arm gently with her hand.

"Hold on a second," he turned to face her in the car seat, "I want to say that everything I've done tonight has been for you and for us and our future. I don't want to overwhelm you. I've planned this for weeks, that's why Kate and Mia kept 'taking me away' from you," she smiled.

"Ok, baby, I'm intrigued now,"

"You should be," she smirked. He got out of the car and went around to open her door and help her out as he always liked to do. He started to walk her towards the house when she stopped him and tugged his hand in the direction of the side passage leading to the garden. She squeezed his hand, knowing he was about to question her again and lead him through the shrubs and trees to the huge garden. She smiled when she saw it; there were 5 seats set out in the centre of the garden filled with the Grey's and Kate. The garden was lit up with fairy lights and there was a makeshift isle of white fabric leading to a makeshift isle where a vicar stood in his church dress.

"Ana... what?" Christian breathed, his hand falling limp in hers.

"I want to marry you Christian. I can't make up for my past mistakes but I can change the future. I didn't want you to overthink things or worry about me not showing up. This is it. Will you be my husband tonight?" she asked. He looked around in amazement. She'd gone to so much trouble and he couldn't believe she'd managed to hide all of this from him.

"You little minx," she said with a smile that she returned, "how did you even?... yes, I would love to marry you tonight,"

"Good, that's what I wanted to hear," they walked hand in hand towards the set up and everything clicked into place for Christian. The phonecalls and time spent with Mia and Kate. The nights when he'd found her up late on the computer. The white dress. She was so smart and he couldn't help a sense of pride flowing through him that she did all of this for him; for them, for their happiness.

"Now Mr Grey, go wait at the alter, I'll be with you in a moment," Ana whispered, giving him a kiss. He watched her go and felt a wave of uncertainty flow through him. Where was she going.

"Come here son," Grace smiled, getting out of her seat to take his arm.

"This is incredible," he said, looking around in amazement.

"Ana did it all, she really loves you Christian. I couldn't not support her on this, all I want is for you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted and she makes you happy," Christian turned to face his mother, looking so beautiful in a summer dress and a shawl.

"I am happy mom, I love her," he smiled. Grace leaned up to kiss his cheek and hug him.

Meanwhile, inside, Ana was getting changed into the veil she'd bought. She wanted to ask Mia to come and help her but she knew if she went back outside, she wouldn't be able to resist seeing Christian in his tux and would end up marrying him veilless.

"Need a hand?" a deep voice asked her; a deep voice she knew all too well. A sound that made her drop the veil and spin around to find the man who it belonged to frantically.

"Dad?" she asked.

"I'm here sweetheart," she saw him walk into the room, fully dressed in a suit with a wide smile of his face.

"But...how...?" she ran to him and jumped into his arms.

"Carrick Grey managed to reach me, said that you were planning a surprise wedding for you and Christian. You wouldn't believe how shocked and happy I was when he told me. I'm so glad you two kids are back together; you were made for each other. So I got a flight as quickly as I could and arrived this afternoon to walk my baby girl down the isle and see that husband of yours who I've missed so much,"

"Oh dad," Ana sobbed, so happy that he was here. Everything was perfect now. Completely and utterly perfect.

"Come on Annie, let's get your veil on and get you married, that boy of yours will be wondering where you've got to," Ana grinned and handed her veil to Ray who clipped it into place on her head. She looked up at her dad, a smile so wide and happy and he grinned back at her.

"I've missed you Annie and I'm so glad that you're marrying him,"

"Me too dad, I love him so much," he held out his arm and she clutched it tightly before walking her out into the garden. Christian gasped when he saw Ray and Elliot, who was stood next to Christian, hit a button which started to play the traditional wedding music. She reached the top of the makeshift isle and looked at Christian; her love. He was looking at her in awe and she suddenly wished that the isle was shorter so she could be in his arms as fast as possible. Ray lead her down the isle and up to Christian. He immediately pulled Christian into a tight hug which Christian returned. Ana felt tears well in her eyes once again as her two favourite men embraced. Ray pulled back and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I've missed you son, I'm so glad you and my Annie are doing this,"

"I missed you too Ray and so am I," Christian smiled. Ray clapped him on the shoulder once more and then gave Ana's hand to him, going to sit in the seat that Elliot had vacated to do his best man duties.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here tonight in the sight of God to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony. Not to be entered into lightly, holy matrimony should be entered into solemnly and with reverence and honor. Into this holy agreement these two persons come together to be joined. If any person here can show cause why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." the minister paused for a moment before continuing. "Marriage is a sacred union between husband and wife and shall remain unbroken. It is the basis of a stable and loving relationship and is a joining of two hearts, bodies and souls. The husband and wife are there to support one another and provide love and care in times of joy and times of adversity. We are all here today to witness the joining in wedded bliss of Christian and Anastasia. This joyous day celebrates the commitment and love with which Christian and Anastasia start their lives together. Through God, you are joined together in the most holy of bonds. Who gives this woman in holy matrimony to this man?"

"I do," Ray smiled, standing from his seat. The minister nodded, before turning back to the couple. Ana hadn't taken her eyes off Christian's and he was lost in her gaze. Their hands were intertwined still and the smiles of their faces were blinding.

"Do you, Christian Grey take Anastasia Steele to be your lawfully wedded wife and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? Do you love, comfort, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Christian said, his voice hoarse and tears in his eyes. She squeezed his hand, smiling through her own tears of happiness.

"And Do you, Anastasia Steele take Christian Grey to be your lawfully wedded husband and live together forever in the estate of holy matrimony? Do you love, comfort, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Ana breathed.

"May we have the rings?" the minister said. Elliot reached into his suit pocked and pulled out the box of rings. Christian looked at Ana questionably and she winked at him.

"The wedding ring is an unbroken symbol of the everlasting love and commitment between man and wife." the minister said, nodding to Elliot to hand the ring to Christian ,"Repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed." Christian said, taking his beautiful brides slender hand. Only an hour ago he placed her engagement ring on her hand and now, he was able to place her wedding ring there. He looked at the ring a moment and smiled. It was so... Ana. She watched him carefully, not blinking or breathing as he slid the ring onto her finger. She looked down at her hand in awe and felt herself shaking with sobs. Christian moved her hand to his lips and kissed it and she brought her other hand to her mouth, trying to hold back the flood of emotion that was trying to escape her. The minister motioned for Elliot to hand Ana the other ring and she took it carefully in her hand.

 ** _"_** Now, Anastasia, please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed," Ana's voice cracked at the end, as she slid the ring onto her fiancé's hand, grinning when he refused to let her go.

"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. With the power vested in me by God, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." The minister announced. Everyone around them clapped and cheered but the couple didn't notice. He brought his hand to her cheek and pressed his lips softly to his wife's lips; his wife. This was it. They were married. The past didn't matter anymore. They were joined in holy matrimony until death parted them. Christian smiled against her lips and lifted her into his arms, spinning her around just as he had when she had asked him that important question this evening.

"Oh how I love you Mrs Grey," Ana felt a jolt inside her at the sound of her new name and moisture coated her thighs. Mrs Grey; she was Mrs Grey, Christian's wife. It all hit her at once and she clutched him tightly. Her husband.

"I love you too, so very much Mr Grey," she whispered in his ear, "my husband, finally," Christian groaned, feeling a rush of blood flow to his nether regions. He had to get her into a bed and naked as soon as possible or he was going to explode. They were pulled into hugs left right and centre and then, everyone went inside to celebrate. Around 20 guests came and Christian introduced Ana to some of his new friends. She already recognised a few; Luke Sawyer for one who was Christian's best friend from school who he hadn't see for a long time. After a night of celebrating and dancing; including a solo slow dance for Christian and Ana, the couple went outside for a moment to escape the noise and get a moment alone. Ana was a slightly tipsy but Christian decided not to drink apart from a glass of champagne so he'd be able to drive them home. She was sat in his lap, her head buried in his neck and her hand twisting his wedding band on his finger.

"I still can't believe you managed all of this, Mrs Grey," Christian said, shifting her closer on his knee and wrapping his suit jacket around her.

"You better believe it my love, I'm so happy," she whispered against his neck.

"So am I Ana, god I'm happy, you have no idea how much I love you."

"I really want to go to bed with you right now so we can have a naked celebration of our own. Do you think we've stayed long enough?" Ana asked, nudging his neck with her nose.

"Most definitely, I can hardly wait. I've been rock hard since dinner, I think every picture Mia got will have to be censored because of my tight trousers," Christian groaned and Ana giggled.

"Mm mm, let's go and do something about it then," they walked inside, hands clutched together, and said goodbye to everyone promising Grace that they'd be back for lunch tomorrow. 15 minutes later, they were flying down the empty roads through town breaking every speed limit. Neither could keep the smile from their faces or their hands from each other. Christian went past their usual turn off and Ana squeezed his hand.

"Christian, we were meant to turn there," Ana said, pointing back.

"We're not going to the apartment," he said. She was about to question him a little more when he turned down a familiar main road. She gasped.

"Are we...?" she started.

"Yes, we're having our second wedding night in the place we envisioned our first would be," Christian smiled, bringing her hand to his lips as he carried on down the street, weaving through streets until they came to their old home. They hadn't been here since they'd broken down in each other's arms all those weeks ago. This was the perfect place to spend their wedding night. The place were dreams had been made and then broken; the house that they were supposed to grow old in. This was the place where they'd spend their first night as husband and wife. The first night of the rest of their lives.

Christian opened Ana's car door and gave her his hand. They walked together up the path to the door of the house and he pushed he against it, kissing her furiously. She caught her breath after the initial surprise of his assault and wound her fingers through his hair. He ground his painfully hard erection against her so that she could feel how aroused he was and moved his mouth from hers to her neck, biting her skin and then soothing it with a gentle lick of his tongue. Ana could feel herself getting lightheaded and was seconds away from moving her hands inside his trousers and making them an exhibition for all to see but, this was their first night as man and wife and she wanted them to make love in a bed; their bed.

"Baby, let... lets go inside," she moaned as Christian sucked on her earlobe. She gentle shoved him back and he looked down at her. Both of them were panting and her neck was red from his assault.

"Yes, you're right," he breathed, trying to compose himself long enough to unlock the door. Before Ana could step inside, Christian swung her into his arms, carrying her bridal style over the threshold.

"Christian!" she screamed as he kicked the door shut and ran with her all the way up the stairs to their old bedroom. She remembered the last time they'd been in here; the last time they'd been in the bed. Molten kisses and caresses. Whispered words and screams of pleasure; The room suddenly felt so much hotter. Her husband put his arms around her and she could once again feel his large member against her.

"I've been wanting to get you out of a white dress for 5 years," he whispered in her ear. She closed her eyes against the sensation and shivered, "now, I can because you're my wife," he smiled against her skin and pulled the zip at the side of the dress down and the pristine white dress which symbolised so much fell to the floor with a 'whoosh' sound. The cold air bit her skin and Goosebumps erupted on her arms. Christian turned her around to face him and looked at her in awe. She was wearing white lace panties and a matching bra.

"God you're beautiful, my Ana. All mine," he breathed, his eyes raking over her body. She moved closer to him and placed her hand on his cheek.

"All yours," she whispered. It all happened at once. He picked her up and threw her down on the bed, making her bounce. She watched as he pulled his suit jacket off but when he started to undo his tie, she sat up and moved closer to him, kneeling on the bed in front of him.

"I think that's my job as your wife Mr Grey," she smirked, moving to untie the knot and then moving onto the buttons of his shirt, ripping them open. Once he was undressed, he climbed back on top of her, moving his hand into her panties. She gasped against his shoulder.

"Yes, oh fuck," she moaned as he rubbed her button and dipped two long fingers inside her. She was so wet and tight around him, squeezing him in a vice as he pleasured her. He loved to watch her face as she writhed in pleasure, occasionally mouthing his name, unable to get enough air in her lungs to say it out loud. She clutched at him, her finger nails digging into his back, leaving proud wounds in their wake which would heal in time unlike his other scars.

"I'm so close," she groaned, moving her hips in the same rhythm as his hand.

"I know you are," he breathed, kissing her neck, "I can feel you, tight and hot around my fingers. You're about to come," she moaned his hand as she came, spiralling into heaven. She lay panting for a moment, revelling in the pleasure that had just wracked her body when she heard the distinct sound of his zipped being undone. Before she could look up, he was spreading her legs and pushing himself inside her, inch by glorious inch.

"Ana! oh I've been thinking of this all day," he moaned, pushing until he couldn't go any further. She gripped his face and rested their foreheads together; eyes closed and breathing even as they both basked in the glorious feeling of being together; one flesh. They were husband and wife; they were married. Finally.

"My wife," he breathed, feeling her involuntarily twitch around him at the words.

"My husband," she smiled, tears brimming in her glassy blue eyes. He leaned down to kiss her, pouring everything he had into the kiss as Ana gripped him for dear life.

"Move Christian," she moaned and he did just that, sliding out of her and then pushing back in, slowly and carefully as though she would shatter with too much force. He watched as every emotion came onto her face and he wanted this moment to last forever. He'd never felt so content in his life, he felt like a war was over and he'd been on the victorious side; this was his prize, the woman he loved.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," Ana chanted like a mantra, her eyes shut but tears still slipping through her lashes and down her cheeks. He kissed them away, his slow torturous movements never relenting as he did so. She moved her hand from his shoulders and moved then to his hair, pulling him down to kiss her lips heatedly. She needed to know that this was real; they had married tonight and this was her husband making love to her in their bed. His slow thrusts were her undoing. She'd never felt so close to him and every movement caused a myriad of pleasure to flow through her body.

"Christian! Oh god Christian!" she moaned, building and building in pleasure until a wave of complete contentment fell over her like a curtain of darkness. She was at peace in so many ways and every ounce of weight that she'd been lugging on her shoulders for all of those years fell away into the mists as she lay limp on the bed. Christian came with a roar and fell on top of her. They held each other close, arms and legs entwined, hands in hair and lips on every inch of skin they could find. He closed his eyes and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world.

"Tonight was perfect Ana, I couldn't have asked for a more incredible wedding, thank you," he breathed into her ear.

"I'd do anything for you, my husband," she smiled at him softly.

"As would I, My wife," he grinned, leaning down to kiss her. She rolled him on to his back and climbed on top of him, grabbing his half hard member in her hands and massaging the muscle with skill and desire. He groaned and leaned back, feeling her lips on his chest. He hoped this night would go on forever. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

* * *

A/N - So, we started with a wedding and now, we're ending with a wedding but this time, everything was perfect. I've really enjoyed writing this story. Next up is the epilogue which I should be able to edit and put out tomorrow for you :)


	14. Chapter 14

**14) Epilogue**

 **5 years later**

She heard the pitter patter of tiny feet running down the hall as she picked up her crying baby daughter.

"Oh sweetheart, please don't cry, mommy's here," she whispered, rocking her 8 month old daughter in her arms. Phoebe had woken up badly because a certain someone had come running into her room at 6am and startled her awake.

"Mama, did I hurt Peepee?" her 2 year old son asked from the door. She turned to look at him and couldn't stay mad. He looked just like his father when he was upset; grey eyes glistening, copper hair sticking up from his little fingers tugging at it and his little pout. He was adorable.

"No baby, come here," she said, holding her spare arm out for him. He came toddling over and she picked him up holding him close and giving him a big kiss. Phoebe had started to settle down now and Teddy softly pattered her hand. The blue eyed baby girl looked around the room and then at her mother in amazement, probably wondering how she went from waking up screaming to being here. Christian had left early for work, something about an issue with a foreign investor, kissing his wife and then his two children before heading out the door at 5am. His company had been an instant success and he was now just a few million dollars away from his first billion. She couldn't be more proud of him. The last 5 years had been the happiest of her life and she fell more in love with her husband every day. She smiled thinking of what he did to her last night; the gentle flick of his tongue and the sharp thrust of his hips a vivid memory in her mind. He'd only managed to get 2 hours sleep once she was done with him; her poor husband was probably falling asleep at his desk right now.

"Mama!" Teddy shouted loudly, breaking her thoughts. She turned to look at him. Everything about him was utterly perfect, just like his father. His eyes were so bright and joyous all the time and he always had so much energy.

"Thank you for bursting my eardrum Theodore," Teddy giggled. He was a cheeky little boy, always laughing and smiling. She knew she was going to have her hands full with him as he grew up. The terrible two's were upon them and although she could never consider her sons behaviour 'terrible' the frequency of his tantrums had grown. At first, both of his parents gave into his every demand. But when Ray came to stay a month or two ago and witnessed one of Teddy's tantrums, he told them about the 'naughty step' concept. Christian didn't like the idea but Ana wanted to give it a try so they worked together in placing Teddy on the naughty step for 10 minutes every time he was naughty. It worked a treat but she hated how upset he looked every time they had to put him on the step. Christian almost caved every single time Teddy cried for him whilst on the naughty step but Ana wouldn't let him, and now, Teddy was doing anything to avoid the naughty step so wasn't having his tantrums as much, which was good for everyone's eardrums.

"Mama! dada read to me?" he asked curiously, obviously wondering where his father was and why he wasn't around this morning to give him a hug and watch cartoons with him as he always did. It had become their routine and her little boy didn't like to break his routine with his father.

"Daddy's at work sweetheart, you'll see him later though," she knew those were fighting words; her copper haired son adored his daddy and she could already feel a tantrum brewing up inside him. Both of her children had definitely inherited their father's temper. Phoebe was clutching at her hair with her tiny hand, falling back to sleep already after all of her tears. She was worn out, even though she'd only been awake for 15 minutes.

"How about mommy reads you a story first this morning and the daddy will read you one later on," Ana compromised. Her smart little two year old weighed up his options making sounds of indecisiveness before eagerly nodding and struggling to get out of her arms and go and get a book for them to read. It was his favourite thing, story time. Christian was convinced that their son would grow up to be a genius with all of the stories they read to him. He didn't understand the words of the books yet, but he loved to hear his mother or his father's voice lulling him as they read to him. He loved to have their attention and to be held and cuddled and his parents were more than happy to oblige.

"Okay sweetheart, let me just put Phoebe back in her crib, you go grab a story book from your shelf," Teddy grinned and ran off out of the room as Ana rocked her little angel.

"Oh sweet girl, mommy and daddy love you so much and your brother didn't mean to wake you, he was just excited to see you, that's all," she whispered, kissing all over Phoebe's little angelic face. Teddy was a mini Christian from the copper hair to the shape of his feet whereas Phoebe was all Ana, except for her nose which resembled her fathers. Christian always said he'd be batting away the boys and hiding Phoebe at home until she was 21. She smirked, thinking of how protecting her husband was of his little girl; the apple of his eye.

Her daughter closed her eyes and Ana continued to rock her until she was fast asleep, her mouth slack and her breathing even. She kissed her forehead and then lay her gently in her crib. As she was walking out of the room, she heard her little boys footsteps clattering on the wooden floor. They had cream carpet everywhere in the house apart from the hallways between the rooms on the second floor. They'd redecorated the 'old house' and made it their own; Ana had done her own decorating with her husband's help of the children's rooms and their room. The cream carpet had also been on this corridor until Teddy was born and as Christian so nicely put it 'shit everywhere'. Now, there was wood floor along the upstairs hallway with soft rugs laying across it so that Teddy wouldn't fall too hard, however, he never walked on the rugs, no matter how many times they tried to tell him.

"Shhh," Ana put her finger to her lips signalling to Phoebe's room. Ana grabbed the baby monitor and shut Phoebe's door nearly all the way before picking up her little boy and heading to his room. Theodore Raymond Grey was obsessed with cars so Christian being the loving and very over the top father that he was, designed a room that any car lover would be happy to have from the Ferrari style bed to the ride on car in the shape of a Mercedes. The wallpaper was car based and he even had a car themes carpet which had been specially designed. She tried to tell her husband that teddy would most likely grow out of liking cars soon and move onto something else like superhero's but whatever Christian Grey's children wanted, they got.

"Which book did you pick baby?" Ana asked, going to sit in the rocking chair at the back of the room where herself or her husband always read to Teddy or sometimes both Teddy and Phoebe. Ana had been shocked when her husband came home 5 months into her pregnancy with Teddy with a large pile of wood and some tools. She'd been even more shocked when he said he was going to build his own rocking chair for them. She wondered why he didn't just get someone else to make one and have it brought in but he'd told her he wanted to make something special for the baby, something unique and filled with love that was made by the hands of their father. At first, Ana had been sceptical. She'd walked in to the room more than once to see her husband swearing with broken wood scattered around him. She'd also had to clean up some of his injuries, but in one weekend he created a beautiful rocking chair and smoothed it down with sandpaper. Ana was proud and amazed by his achievement and he allowed her to be the first to sit in it once he checked it wouldn't break. She'd cried and then shown him just how much his gift meant to her on the floor outside the nursery.

"Dis mama!" Teddy handed her the book and she smiled when she saw which one he'd picked. Once Christian became very successful, she told him about her dream to write her own series of children's books. She wanted a job that she could do at home whilst looking after her babies and this was the perfect opportunity. Christian wholeheartedly supported her and within a year she'd published her first story 'Annie's magical adventures'. There had been 4 successive books in that series which had sold well but the story that Teddy held was the one that became a best seller and sold out fast. It was called 'A drop in the ocean' and it was close to her heart in every way. It was a little old for Teddy, meant as a book for her junior readers short story collection, but ever since his father told him that it was about him and Ana, he'd asked for it to be read to him every chance he got. Ana grabbed a blanket from Teddy's dresser and wrapped them in it, cuddling her baby boy on her knee. He put his thumb in his mouth, a habit Christian was determined to break by his third birthday and cuddled into his mother's chest, his grey eyes assessing the book.

"A drop in the ocean," Ana read the title and Teddy watched as Ana turned the page. There was an illustration of the sea and a brunette woman standing next to it in a summer dress, clutching a basket. Each page had a sentence and a beautiful illustration of the scene depicted, created by her employed illustrator, Jose. He'd come to America after an invitation from Christian a few years ago. Jose was looking for a job and after seeing how talented he was at drawing, Ana gave him one at her home business, Grey publishing, as her illustrator. He'd gone on to draw for other famous writers and was now the godfather of Phoebe. Teddy and Phoebe's godmother was Kate and Teddy's godfather was Christian's best friend Luke. Ana had told Christian that she didn't mind if Luke was the godfather of Phoebe too, but Christian wanted Jose. They had become close since Jose came back and every so often they'd go out for a beer together. She was happy that Jose was here with them and that her husband had become good friend with him. She had missed him when she went away and he didn't live too far away from them now, only a few blocks away where his 'studio' was. He was also going out with Mia, which was good because Christian trusted him so Mia didn't have to worry about an overprotective older brother threatening her boyfriend. The same couldn't be said for Elliot though who practically bullied Jose the first time he'd found out that Mia was going out with him. Ana curled her arm tighter around her little boy and started to read the story in front of her from memory.

"She watches the waves as they crash on the sand, a man washes up and she gives him her hand. This man is a soldier, her fighter, her home. The one that she longed for, forever in hope. She watched as he healed and opened his eyes, he loved her and held her, in pain as she cried. They mended together, two hearts beat as one and when he was ready, they packed and were gone. They travelled together and one night they wed, together forever were the words that they said. They first had a son, who they loved like no other and then came a daughter who looked like her mother. As day became night and time became frozen, they'd always be glad of a drop in the ocean," Ana looked up from the book to see her little man fast asleep on her chest. She picked him up and he snuggled into her shoulder. She walked over to the bookcase and placed 'A drop in the Ocean' back with his other books. She then walked back down the hall, being as quiet as possible and opened the door of her little girls room. Her daughter lay fast asleep, spread eagle in her cot, breathing softly. Her heart burst with love at the scene before her and her hand covered her stomach where their third child lay, the size of a cherry seed and smiled knowing she'd soon have another character to write into their love story. There was only one person missing from this scene, but she knew that he'd be home soon.

Her story really did have a happily ever after.

 _The End_

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A/N - The story at the end I made up whilst I was writing but I thought it might be a nice way to finish. Thank you so much for your support on this story and I hope you enjoyed it :)


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